Spanking My Husband

The state of my blog

2011-10-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

I often have plans to post to this blog, but then I realize later that I don't really have the time to do it.

So I am going to put the blog on hold again. Sorry to stop and start so often. I don't know when (if at all) I will start re-posting.

Good luck to all of you in your relationships.

Deirdre.

Evan answers some comments

2011-09-27T15:04:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Thanks for the comments on Evan's post yesterday. He sent me answers on a few: he will answer others later.
Deirdre.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Wow. Thanks for sharing, and thanks in advance for the answer.

I love the way you both describe her spanking technique. I've been a spanko for some time and it has mostly been the thought of me spanking women that turned me on and the only real spanking experience that I have had. Lately I've been interested in getting spanked for some reason- the thought ofnot being in control is appealing, and to see if I could take what I dish out, plus I think having experienced it will make me a better spanker too- so I'm curious- yall started out spanking each other and it evolved- does Evan still find the thought of him spanking someone appealing?

Next unrelated question- have there ever been any close calls of someone finding out? Saw some bruises, heard something, wondered what that weird piece of furniture with the straps was? Does anyone know?"

Evan:

Question 1. Do I still find the thought of spanking someone else appealing?

This is an interesting question. Basically no. I think I am more of a submissive overall than a dominant: I identify with the submissive in stories and movies, and that's the role that excites me the most. I was able to be a good dominant for Deirdre because I know how I would like to be treated as a submissive. But because she doesn't want to be spanked, I am happy not ever spanking anyone. I prefer my role as the spankee than as the spanker (which fits well with her).

If Deirdre ever wanted me to spank someone else in the context of our relationship, I would probably do that in order to please her. But it's not something that I seek.

Question 2: have there ever been any close calls of someone finding out?

I guess the first few sets of bruises that I got from being spanked -- before I knew Deirdre, mostly -- would have been somewhat shocking, because they were so extensive. But it's been a long time since I have had extensive bruising. As others must have discovered, I don't bruise nearly as much as I used to. My skin toughens up very early in a spanking, and it is hard to bruise me (even though I think it hurts the same). So people mostly wouldn't be able to notice bruising of mine. Maybe if Deirdre went after my thighs again (as she has on a few occasions), I might get very bruised again. But she mostly spanks areas that have been spanked extensively before, so there is nothing much to see a day later.

In any case, several people have found out, mostly because Deirdre has a paddle with her most of the time (in her purse), and she pulls it out occasionally. She showed a couple of men at a party once (right in front of me), and told them that this was her spanking paddle. One of the men asked me if I was submissive, and I said something non-committal, and changed the topic. I guess I find these situations embarrassing, but Deirdre enjoys them. I have convinced her, however, not to do this too much, because it could potentially damage our careers. I think mostly people don't care, or they find it amusing, but I don't want to force knowledge of our lifestyle on anyone.

One general occasion where Deirdre loves to flaunt her dominance over me is going through airport security. She loves it when security people ask her what the paddle is for: she always tells them that it's a paddle for spanking her husband. They typically are somewhat surprised by this answer, but they don't seem to care one way or the other. (I imagine that they see a lot of unusual occurrences.) Deirdre likes these situations so she can embarrass me a little, if she can.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Great to see you back and thankyou for sharing your spanking activities. Too much to hope for I suppose that we will ever get to see Deirdre's face ??!
You make reference in this post to a video earlier on in your blog, but I can't find it or remember seeing it - is it there somewhere?
Thanks again.
Matt (UK)"

Hi Matt:

Sorry for the confusion. I don't think Deirdre posted the video: she posted some stills from the same video that I posted from.

No, she isn't going to show her face, and neither am I. Deirdre is very beautiful, but she needs her privacy.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Don't want to speak for them but willing to bet that they're not going to be showing faces anytime soon, and certainly don't blame them!
That having been said, I agree that they're a very attractive couple. Curious if you ever give him a spanking topless? Would love to see that. Don't think of it as being submissive, Diedre-- think of it as presenting more of a challenge in spanking his erection away! (Plus I think it would be lovely to see stills from that video with your breasts wobbling around as you put Evan through his paces.

Thanks toboth of you for sharing, and hope you don't mind my prurient interest in your blog"

Right: no faces in this blog! But thanks for the compliment, saying we are an attractive couple. That's very nice! Deirdre is certainly beautiful.

Has Deirdre given me a spanking topless? I don't think so. Whereas that would most definitely make an entertaining sight, it doesn't seem functional in a spanking scenario. The idea that her being topless might keep me hard longer seems far-fetched. I don't think you know how much her spankings hurt! Nothing that I see or think about could keep me hard during her spankings. But of course, whether she chooses to spank with or without a top is up to her.

ps. from Deirdre: I am not going to spank Evan topless. Or at least, if I ever do, we won't film it. Sorry!

Evan's view from the bottom

2011-09-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

I have asked Evan to write about his view of our relationship, and what it's like to be spanked by me. Depending on the reaction from the blog readers, perhaps this is something I may ask more of him in the future.

D.

Evan:

Hi everyone:

First, my thanks to Deirdre for (a) having me as a partner (you are a wonderful wife in so many ways); and (b) for writing this blog. It's a great expression of our love.

To start with, as I am sure that Deirdre has said, I want to emphasize that spanking and female-dominant ideas are a small part of our relationship. We both enjoy this part of our sex life, but it's a small part of our life on the whole. We enjoy many things in life together: sex and spanking are great, but even if we didn't have spanking, we would be very happy with each other. Most importantly, we don't judge one another: we accept each other for whatever we are, even as that changes from month to month and from year to year.

I should tell you that the spanking in our relationship was my idea. Deirdre had never engaged in such activities before meeting me. I had raised the idea -- of being dominated in a relationship -- to several previous girlfriends, to mixed reactions over the years. Deirdre's reaction was the most positive reaction that I had ever received. It was quite surprising to me, actually. I didn't know if I should believe her, but it turned out that she was indeed telling the truth: she really likes a female dominant lifestyle. She is naturally a bossy woman. In fact, so much so, that I sometimes find it hard to submit to her desires, because I am naturally quite dominant too (even though I have strong submissive fantasies, that are sexually exciting for me). It has been interesting to learn a lot about myself and Deirdre in a relationship where neither of us feels threatened by anything that interests / excites the other. This way, I have been able to fully explore my submissive side, as much as I like. It has been very illuminating. In the end, I am perhaps not as submissive overall as I thought I was when I first got together with Deirdre. This has been interesting to learn. Fortunately, Deirdre is a wonderful partner, so she doesn't judge me no matter who I end up being. (And the same goes for me, from me to her.)

Regarding our spanking experiences, I wanted to try a life in which Deirdre spanked me at will, and hard, so that it was beyond what I would put up with. I guess I was looking for a dynamic like what I had read about in stories and books, or seen in videos, where a submissive is spanked to tears, is somewhat humiliated in some way, and does what his/her dominant wants. I should confess that I was spanked as a child, by my mother (using a wooden spoon on my bare bottom), and in some sense I suppose I was trying to relive those feelings of loss of control, which were always exciting to me, as far back as I can remember.

Deirdre and I tried spanking over her knee, and in various other positions, with a lot of success. She enjoyed the dominant role, and she had no difficulty ignoring my pleas, spanking me well past what I seemed to want at the time. Although these sessions were highly satisfying to me, I am much stronger and bigger than Deirdre, so I could always interrupt a session if I felt that it was too much. And I did so, often. For example we can easily see this behavior in a video that Deirdre posted very early on in the blog. Here are some stills from times during that spanking (a) where I reached around and stopped the spanking (because it was too much for me at the time); and (b) where I simply slid down off Deirdre's lap to get away from the blows.

These spankings were intense and rewarding, but I thought that we could even further toward my goal of handing her complete control if I was restrained in some way, so that I couldn't have any say on when Deirdre spanked. That's when we bought the spanking bench. The spankings when I am secured over the bench are intense, to say the least. Once I am secure on the bench, there is no going back. I can't untie myself: I need Deirdre to do that. So I am at her mercy once I am tied down. It's a scary feeling at this point: that gives me butterflies for sure. Then it gets much worse when the spanking starts. Deirdre seems to enjoy the first few minutes the most, when it hurts the most, and I am most vocal. A few hard smacks is all that I can ever take initially, and I ask for her to tone it down or give me a rest (in spite of not wanting to make such concessions before I get on the bench). Deirdre ignores these requests, and strikes hard and fast, going through with whatever she promised before we started (e.g., 1-2 minutes of spanking with that implement). It is extremely intense: quite an experience.

Somehow I always manage to get myself on the bench for another session later, so I must enjoy these sessions at a deep level. On the surface, they are pretty hard to take.

Do people have questions that they want to ask me about this kind of experience or others?

Thanks for reading.

more nice comments

2011-09-25T20:13:00.000-07:00

Otto149 writes:

"This site is unbelievably hot!"

Thanks, Otto! I am glad that you appreciate my spanking style.

SometimesSpanked writes:

"Thanks for all your posts!
Seems there a little "wriggling" here by Evan nonetheless....
May I ask, about how many spanks per minute do you do with a couple of your fav instruments? Thx!"

Yes, Evan wriggles as much as he can to get away from the blows when on the bench. It doesn't make any difference however: he can't get very far.

Regarding spanking rates, with an instrument like the lexan paddle, or my purse paddle (hairbrush-sized) I vary from around 1 per second to 2 per second (60-120 / minute). Sometimes I have played a game with Evan where I see how many times I can strike him in a 1, 2 or 3 minute period. (I don't tell Evan that I am playing this game, however.) I can get 2-3 / second for a long while when I really go fast.

When I am using a paddle like the big one in the post a few days ago, then I can only do around 10-30 / minute (assuming that I am striking hard). The same is true for a cane or a strap: I need to slow down in order to get the aim and intensity right.

I think Evan finds the strap the worst of all of these, because it wraps around his things so often.

tommyspt writes:

"i am just glad to see you back. yours is one of my favorite blogs. i have sometimes gone for a while without posting also. sometimes i get writers cramp, when that happens i post drawings with my flickr comments. missed you."

Thanks, Tommy. I am glad that you like my blog. I like yours very much too. Evan especially likes it: he loves your fantasy stories and pictures. If you ever need ideas of something to draw or write about, feel free to think of me and Evan. I'd love to see your rendering.

Finally, an anonymous commenter writes:

"Dear D,
I'm really sorry for you husband and his sore bottom, but I guess he deserves this hard spanking. But you're are a too stern with him. The bench is horrible, and you seem have a lot pleasure when you beat him on it. The Lexan paddle is like a torture implement. A light strap will be perhaps more convenient when his fault is not really a crime...
Best regards "

You really need not be sorry for Evan. He might not enjoy his time on the bench when it's happening, but Evan appreciates it later. You yourself might not want or need such an intense session. But Evan enjoys it (in a matter of speaking).

femdom couple from india writes:

"i gather from the pic that he is strapped and unable to move. i would love that. lucky guy."

Yes, we have a spanking bench which I tie Evan to. When he is secured to the bench, he cannot at all, except to squirm a little from side to side, and from up and back. We like the bench very much: I have written about it at length in earlier posts.

Best wishes to all,

D.

lexan paddle

2011-09-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

Here are some stills from the same spanking session, where I used a lexan paddle. I don't think Evan has a preference among most of my paddles / tawses / canes. He usually gets a fixed amount of time, so although the blows with the bigger paddle hurt more (I gather), there are fewer of them. The lexan paddle is light and very easy to handle, so I can get in a lot of smacks in each minute. Here are just a few.

I am off for the weekend. I hope to be back blogging about less superficial issues next week.

paddling: qs and comments

2011-09-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all who have commented (i.e., Andrea nj (sorry, I somehow seem to have lost your comment), hanks Sara, dd4life, mysster, Curious George, Parivash, Michael, RedRump). I am very pleased that you like to read my blog: it's rewarding to hear that it's appreciated.

An anonymous commenter says the following:
"That's hot, restrained over a bench, that paddle must have him making lots of noise, leaves that ass sore and red. Guys will be good if they get that often by their wives and girl friends. Get over the bench and see how tough you guys are -- oh you won't be. That's what i get. Yes, it's also good for your sex life . Once on the bench, she rules. If she milks you first, then spanks you, you will scream from the first stroke. Try it guys."

First of all, yes, Evan makes a lot of noise when he gets spanked while secured to our bench. I gather that it is exciting for him to lose control like this, but once he is there, the pain of a hard spanking is hard for him to take. He says that the hardest part is the first couple of minutes. He can cope with a few hard spanks, but after about 10-20, it would be too much for him to take if he weren't strapped down and unable to escape. He almost always starts pleading with me after 10-20 smacks (that it's too much for him to take etc.), but I rarely stop. He forgets that he has already assured me earlier that I should ignore his pleas and spank as hard as I like. So that's what I do.

I have a lot of respect for Evan for doing this: he has a much higher pain tolerance than I have. I would never agree to being spanked like this, strapped down as he is. But I am happy to take the dominant role: it's much more suited to me than the submissive role.

The commenter also mentions that a spanking will hurt more if the man is milked first. I think that there are multiple senses of "milking" that people use in a context like this. From the context, I think that the commenter is talking about the ejaculation sense of milking, such that the man has a sexual release, and then the spanking hurts much more. I have still never done this with Evan. I like him pent up, so I leave him without release when we are engaging in spanking activities regularly.

I will eventually have more to say about prostate milking. We don't do this very often, but I find it a lot of fun when we do. Evan says that prostate milking does not actually remove the sexual tension: it just releases semen from what feels like an overflow area (which can still be a substantial quantity). I am not sure if this is medically correct, but that's how he describes it.

In another comment, RedRump asks the following: "I'm curious about the watch in your hand - did you tell Evan he had to take if for a certain amount of time? Or maybe you were seeing how many you could give him in a certain amount of time? Inquiring minds want to know..."

I often spank Evan for a fixed amount of time, usually in one minute increments (e.g., usually sets of 1, 2, or 3 minutes, for a total of 5-15 minutes). If it's only 1-2 minutes, I sometimes see how many I can do. Evan says that he sometimes completely loses control in these situations.

Here is a sequence of photos showing an impact followed by how Evan's bottom reacts to a hard smack from a heavy paddle. Pretty cool, huh? (I would never volunteer for this!)

two more of Evan receiving a hard paddling

2011-09-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

By the quantity of downloads, people seemed to like the hard paddling picture that I posted yesterday.

Here are a couple of additional pictures, just to show you that I spanked both sides of Evan's bottom (not that there was really any doubt). This was a reward spanking for Evan: sometimes we both enjoy a hard spanking, and that's what this was. It's always best for me when he is tied down, so I can spank as hard as I like without any interference from him. It takes a lot of guts on his part to submit to this, but we both love it, so it's worth it in the end for him.

By this point in the spanking, you can see that his penis has shrunk as small as it gets. That lets me know that I am doing my part!

new header picture

2011-09-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

This is just a test of a new layout.

Here is an impact photo of Evan receiving a hard paddle smack (which I think he noticed).

updating my blog list: some comments on other blogs

2011-09-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

First thanks for all the well wishes in the comments and emails. I really appreciate your responses. Those responses are what keep me posting at all (as rarely as that has been lately: sorry).

It's been a long time since I updated my blog list. I have been reading several new blogs over the past year (and so has Evan) but I have neglected to update my blog list. Anyway, better late than never!

1. I have meant to add All Mine (http://suzanne-allmine.blogspot.com/) for a while, but I have never got around to it. Suzanne's lifestyle is somewhat different from ours, but not so much, in the big picture. Suzanne keeps her husband as a cuckold, and she has a lover who has a larger penis and is a better lover (which she refers to as a Trophy Cock (TC)). All three people seem to love the lifestyle that they live. From the way that it is presented, it seems perhaps surprisingly healthy. I say "surprisingly" because I am not familiar with close-knit multiple partner relationships (although I have nothing against them in principle). Personally, I don't think I will ever "cuckold" Evan. He might find it somewhat exciting in fantasy (I am not sure about this), but it doesn't do anything for me. For one thing, I have never complained about Evan's penis or his loving style: both are the best that I have ever experienced. (Maybe that's just because I love him so much.) In any case, it's very satisfying for me.

2. MsMarie (http://msmariedmx.blogspot.com/) has a great blog that I am sure many of you know. The focus here is on dominating / loving her husband. She has a dungeon where she looks after him. This blog is well written, and appears to be based on a deep relationship between Marie and her husband. There are some lovely photos documenting their fun. I identify a lot with what Marie writes, even though I don't often use the same methods (as you know, I focus more on spanking). But I think it's possible that I could adapt to some of her techniques over time.

3. A spanking Marriage (http://spankingmarriage.blogspot.com/)
Here, Susan tells of her life with Barry, how she spanks him for his misbehavior. In her latest installment, she asks about prostate milking. We have a lot of experience with this topic. We tried it several times years ago, with no success. It was hard to do for Evan: there are probably large individual differences across people for how easy / hard prostate milking may be to accomplish.
Then we finally succeeded, a few years ago. And now I know how to do it successfully every time, at least for Evan. I can tell you about this soon... when I get to it. (Sorry, I know that I can be somewhat unreliable with respect to posting). In any case, I just wanted people to know (Susan in particular) that prostate milking is not a myth. It can be difficult to initiate for the first time, but it is a real possibility. (Go on xtube, and search for prostate milking to see some examples of prostate milking in action.) Don't give up: it really does work in the way that others have written about on the internet -- a steady sequence of drops of semen, with no erection necessary -- if one does it right. For Evan, a successful milking session is based mostly on the time since the last ejaculation. The longer that it has been, the more successful the milking: the greater volume I can milk from him.

4. Some new artists have recently joined us:

i. RedRump (http://redrump.blogspot.com/) draws lovely pictures of women preparing to spank and then spanking men. I especially like the following picture, from http://redrump.blogspot.com/2011/08/men-will-be-boys.html

This is a lot like me and Evan (but I don't think I look so mad when I am spanking: I think I am a bit calmer). If RedRump ever wants to watch me give Evan a spanking, I would love an artist's rendering of the event!

ii. Banjo's Bare Bottom Spankings (http://banjosbbs.blogspot.com/) is another female-spanks-male art blog, adding to RedRump and Tommy's. He seems to like the same kind of fantasies as Evan:

The picture on the right is the kind of fantasy that excites Evan a great deal: being spanked by the teacher (or other female-in-charge) and then being found out with an erection, and getting more. Practically speaking, I don't think that this could have ever happened to Evan. As I have commented earlier, he often starts a spanking with a semi-erection, but as soon as the spanking starts, this erection is quick to dissipate. After a hard spanking, there is nothing left of his erection. It's a tiny cute little penis by then!

Ok, that's it for now. Thanks for being patient with my posting style. Sorry for the erratic nature of my posting.
Deirdre.

a long hiatus

2011-09-14T17:06:00.000-07:00

To everyone out there who has shown an interest in me and Evan:

As you all have noticed, I haven't posted anything in a long time (9 months!). I apologize for dropping out without any explanation. Basically, Evan and I toned down our spanking a lot over the last year or more, because of some stresses in our lives. Please don't worry: we are both fine, and we are doing well as a couple. But I haven't been spanking him as much as I had been a year ago (and for a few years before that). As I am sure you all know, life is unpredictable. Someday I am confident that we will get the spanking bug again, and I will paddle his bottom hard when that time comes. But until then, I guess we have been on a bit of a spanking hiatus.

It's hard for me to say if this will continue or change. In case it doesn't change (and I stay off for a while longer), thanks to all of you for reading and commenting. It is nice to have a community of people who like what we like. For now, we will be devoting more focus to our vanilla lives (which are going well for both of us).

My best wishes to all,

Deirdre

tommy's drawings

2010-12-09T14:47:00.000-08:00

Hi all:

Here's a blog that Evan likes: http://tommysptoriginalart.blogspot.com

Evan likes Tommy's drawings, because the themes appeal to him: young men, being forced to accept a spanking from women in a position of authority. He also likes the fact that in the drawings, many of these men have erections before they are to get spanked (just like Evan).

I think this is a familiar theme for Evan: the boy / man wants to be spanked at some level, because it's exciting, deep down. So he gets an erection at the thought of the potential spanking. But when it happens, the spanking is much harder than in his fantasies, and he cries and loses control.

Thanks, Tommy, for your pictures! Keep up the good work.

Deirdre

Evan otk

2010-12-07T05:47:00.000-08:00

Here are some shots from near the end of the spanking that I had posted pictures of recently. His bottom was bright red at the end of this one.

This one hurt a lot: around the corner. I got a good reaction from that smack.

He is crossing his legs to try to keep in position, which is ok with me. As long as he stays there, then the spanking will end after he takes enough hard spanks well. If he moves around too much, then none of that time counts.

Done for now. Off he climbs, with a nice red bottom.

And I can see that I have done a good job on spanking away his erection.

All the best to all of you.

Deirdre.

going through airport security with my wooden paddle

2010-12-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

Evan and I were traveling over the holidays by plane, and I had an interesting exchange with a security agent at airport security, before boarding a plane. I put my purse through the scanner, and in my purse was my handy paddle, pictured below. (I usually carry this with me in my purse.)

No one has asked about my paddle before, so I was a little surprised when a security agent (a woman about my age, maybe 30 years old) took it out of my purse and asked me what it was. I could see she had no idea what it was. To her, I bet it looked like a hairbrush with no brush. Or maybe a sex toy. I don't know.

I didn't hesitate in telling her that it was a spanking paddle. She looked at me with a confused look, and so I told her "Don't worry, only my husband is in danger." She seemed surprised by this answer, but she took it in stride, and laughed. She then gave me my purse, and that was that.

Unfortunately, Evan didn't see or hear this exchange first-hand, because he was already through security by this point. I told him about it, but he didn't get to experience the embarrassment of being outed as my spanked husband in public. But I am confident that it will happen again soon.

10 hard vs. 30 medium hard

2010-12-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Evan was being a pain today, so I gave him a nice short spanking. It's been a while, so he wasn't so keen on going over my lap, because it seems to hurt him more after long periods of no spanking. So I gave him a choice: 10 as hard as I could, or 30 medium hard. I strongly recommended the 30 option. I sat on our green ottoman, and had Evan drop his pants beside me, then pulled him across my lap. He wisely chose the 30 option. He made a lot of noise throughout the 30 spanks, even though I was going very easy on him (except for the last 2, when I let him have it). Order has now been restored, and we are happily back to work. It is amazing how a few spanks can go a long way.

Consuming his own semen

2010-12-02T15:22:00.001-08:00

Hi everyone:

I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving holiday. Evan and I had a busy time with family, and now we are happy to relax for a few days.

Back now to female-dominant elements of a sexual relationship. Another element of our sexual relationship that Evan introduced (that I really enjoy) is that often when Evan ejaculates, he collects it in a little shot glass, and then drinks it. Years ago, he thought that this was an exciting fantasy: to be forced to drink his own semen. He had masturbated on his own for many years, and had never consumed it on his own, but the idea of being forced to do so excited him. He had even mentioned this to an ex-girlfriend, but she didn't identify with the fantasy -- she thought it was weird -- so he didn't pursue it.

Evan raised this idea with me early on in our relationship, and I liked it very much. I think he was surprised by my reaction. Personally, I don't see why anyone would be bothered by this fantasy. It's seems harmless and fun. (I actually used to like the taste of semen: I used to swallow Evan's semen when we were dating. Now, I hardly ever do this. Whereas I would still be happy to do it if it excited Evan, I like the relationship we have now.) Sometimes when Evan comes inside me, I will have him lick it out: that feels nice (a "creampie"). More often however, I will have Evan masturbate into a shot glass while I watch him, gently stroking his balls until he orgasms (he is very sensitive under there). As soon as he comes, I have him drink it: it is a great show to watch. Although the idea still excites him before he comes, he hates the idea as soon as he has orgasmed. But we have made a pact whereby he always drinks it, so he does so, reluctantly. It is funny to watch because he dislikes it so much. I find it both exciting (I love watching him masturbate) and funny!

Here are a few photos of Evan getting his bottom warmed.

This first photo is me telling Evan to point his toes away, and relax his bottom in preparation for the spanking.

This next shot is already quite a few spanks in, as you can see his bottom is becoming pink.

I have noticed in watching the videos of his spankings that it takes a while for his bottom to become red. That is, even if I spank very hard for a minute, it takes another minute or two for his bottom to redden. So I can spank him for 30 seconds hard, and wait, and then in a couple of minutes his bottom will be all red.

Here, Evan is starting to kick and squirm. He is saying things like "It hurts, it hurts!"

And here he is stretching his legs out in response to my telling him to keep them down.

I will post more of these later.

Talk to you soon,

Deirdre.

Guiding my husband's penis between my thighs before a spanking

2010-11-23T09:59:00.000-08:00

As you all know, Evan is often erect before a spanking. You also probably know that I like it this way: I love looking at and touching his erect penis. I then like to spank the erection out of him. Here is another photo of Evan getting across my lap, with an erection.

And here I guide him between my thighs.

Now I get to work. It won't take long before the erection is completely gone.

More later,

D.

Our spanking life is a journey, not a goal

2010-11-22T06:20:00.000-08:00

This sounds cliche, but my life with Evan is a journey. There are no goals in this journey, but there is one basic rule: we love, respect and support each other, no matter what. I realize that this rule isn't a very spanking-oriented rule, but it applies to our spanking life as well as other parts of our life together.

The reason that I am saying this is that I often get asked how often I spank Evan and why don't I spank him more, or for some particular infraction. The answer to this kind of query is that you are thinking of our relationship wrong. There is no target number of spankings for us. We have tried this kind of thinking for our relationship in the past, but it creates additional unnecessary stress. By creating artificial goals, one will be disappointed if one does not achieve the goals. So we have adapted our spanking relationship over the years so that we have no goals other than to love, respect and support each other, no matter how many times I spank Evan. Sometimes it will be two or even three times in a single week. More typically, it will be once in a month or so. We do however many we do, and we greatly enjoy each other through all of them. It is this feeling of happiness resulting from being together that's the main reward for us, not meeting some arbitrary target number of spankings.

Having said all this, I identify with the comment from an anonymous reader, who yesterday said the following:

"Great to see you back!!! I've checked almost daily. My lady and I are considering a more formal spanking arrangement, where I have to agree to be spanked for certain offenses, and I have to give her some latitude. There will be times when I won't agree or am not in the mood to be spanked, but it's a matter of take it, or end the spanking relationship. I don't get to choose when I'm to be spanked. I'm a bit afraid of this, in a "normal" everyday relationship. I am headstrong, myself. I believe in fairness, and what if I really resent the implication that I am "wrong", when I fully believe I am not? I get to be spanked for it, regardless? I'm wondering how you, or others, handle this. It's one thing to fantasize about this kind of relationship; putting it into real-world practice is another. Ego's are involved. And emotions. Tread carefully, I suppose, huh..."

I have run into exactly this issue with Evan. He and I are both stubborn, and we are often sure that we are right, when we get into a disagreement. Neither one of us is good at letting the other have their way. In a spanking relationship, one would think that I should be allowed to make the decisions in these difficult situations. Eventually, maybe I will be able to have this control. And over time, it is more the case. We think it is a mistake to have ultimatums like "take it, or end the spanking relationship", as the commenter suggests. Both of us like what we get out of our spanking relationship, so why throw it away if we have a hard time agreeing at times? Over time, Evan is gradually becoming more submissive, and I have become more relaxed in my dominance. For us, we think that this is the solution. No ultimatums: just enjoy each other for who we are.

Here is a nice picture of contact. I probably enjoyed this when it happened more than Evan did.

Thanks for all the comments and the email

2010-11-21T13:43:00.001-08:00

I am very pleased to have received so much positive feedback since I resumed blogging. I appreciate all the kind things that you all have written to me, either in the comments section or in email to me. Most importantly, please know that I really appreciate every one of your comments. Even if it's just a couple of words of support, somehow it's much better to receive those positive words of support than to receive nothing. (All of you bloggers will understand what I mean.) Logically, I know that many people are reading my blog -- I see the numbers on the counter -- but somehow that little bit of feedback makes a world of difference in bringing me back to keep writing. So even if you have written to me before, don't ever feel that your comments aren't useful: they are. (Except of course the few people who are demanding or rude! Perhaps the three of you can go and write your own blog.)

I will be back soon with more contentful topics. I have a few things brewing that I want to run by Evan first before I post anything.

Talk to you soon,

D.

ps. Here is an obligatory picture of my husband's ass. (Now there's a sentence that I am not used to writing.)

more otk for Evan

2010-11-17T15:24:00.000-08:00

Hi all:

Thank you very much for all the kind comments. I am glad that you like my blog so much.

Here are a couple more shots of the otk spanking I gave Evan in the last photo set. If remember, I actually had him play with himself so that he had a nice big erection before we started the spanking. Then I had him place himself over my knee. You can see me maneuver his erection between my thighs. (I love gripping it with my hands and legs!)

(Sorry about the poor quality.) Some people have asked if Evan ever orgasms across my lap, with his erection between my thighs. The answer is definitely no. There are two reasons for this. First, he needs a lot of stimulation before he orgasms. And second, the spanking eliminates his erection fast. A few hard smacks with the paddle, and there is nothing to squeeze down between my thighs anymore: he shrinks back to his small soft state.

Then I started the spanking:

You can see that Evan squirms around when he is over my lap, without fail. I mostly like his squirming: it provides a strong cue that I am doing a good job. But it is sometimes a little annoying. Once he nearly kicked me in the nose. I spanked extra hard after that. He doesn't want to get me mad when he's over my knee!

Anyway, that's all for now. I think I will talk about some other issues in upcoming blog posts.

Happy spanking! Especially you women who like to spank your men. Remember, they may say they don't want it, but they need it. Always keep in mind that they asked for this treatment. Give it to them as hard as you can. It's good for them! They will thank you later. (And if they don't thank you, then something is wrong.)

back from hiatus

2010-11-15T23:12:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone:

If you follow my blog, then you will know that I have been away for a while. It was June when I posted last: that's 5 months ago. Time goes by quickly, especially when you are busy!

There are two related reasons why I haven't posted for so long. One is that Evan and I have been very busy at work during this time. And the second is that we haven't engaged in much spanking activity in this time. We haven't given up on spanking: we have just been concentrating on other things in recent months.

Occasionally I get emails asking about our use of otk spankings vs. tying Evan down on the bench. Some people are even shocked that I restrain Evan on the bench. (For example, like this recent comment: "I am surprised that a guy would put up with restraints--from his own wife-- ... If I had to be restrained--I just would not do it---Its just too much --just my experience".) I respond to this comment: to each, their own. Evan is not "putting up" with my tying hm to the bench: he is a willing volunteer. In fact, the bench was a gift from him to me. If he didn't want it, he wouldn't have got it for us.

Evan is a complex man. As I have said before, he loves the idea of being spanked, but he hates it when the spanking is happening. The conflict is that the idea that excites him includes the spankings being very hard, beyond his control. He is excited by the idea of kicking and crying as he is spanked by a dominating figure (me!). By definition, it's not something that he can enjoy when it's happening. Having him restrained on the spanking bench allows him to live that fantasy. If he is over my knee when I spank him hard, he just moves out of the way: he is unable to hold himself in position because it hurts him a lot.

I hope to get back to more regular spankings in the coming months and consequently some more posting here. There are still some other topics that I can discuss too.

Please feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment to let me know you are reading.

Here are a couple of pictures from a spanking I gave him a while ago (the one that followed my teasing him in my last post).

hiatus

2010-06-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

I will be taking a hiatus from blogging for a while. Have a good summer, everyone!

love to all,

D.

answering comments about the bench and the strap

2010-06-17T18:35:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone:

Thank you all very much for reading and commenting on my posts. I always read the comments with interest, and I am sorry that I don't respond to all of them right away. I will respond to some of your recent comments here:

Linda asks: "You've mentioned that you have to talk Evan into going on the bench sometimes. However, it looks like he is aroused when he is on it. Does he get aroused before you secure him to it, or is the arrousal a result of your handy-work before the spanking begins?"

Evan is usually not aroused as I am strapping him to the bench. I think the anxiety of getting a hard spanking stops him from being aroused. However, once he is strapped down, I will often play with his penis and balls to get him excited before I start spanking him. That's what happened during the bench spanking that I posted pictures of.

Barb says:
"... your blog and photos make me want to purchase a bench, so I can provide an erotic mix of pleasure and pain to him at my discretion. How much fun it will be to tease his penis and balls, while instructing him that if he climaxes he'll receive a good dose of the lexan (which he hates)."

I have never had Evan climax while he was on the bench. That's something I would like to do eventually. In particular, I would like to try to masturbate him with one hand, and then start to spank him with my hairbrush-sized paddle with the other hand once he starts to climax. I think that a minute of that treatment would be hard for him to take, maybe harder than anything I have done yet. Some day I would like to try this.

Eric says:

"Why don't you just put his junk to the front? When I had to get a switching or a whipping with the belt I had to place my parts on top of the couch and bend over with legs spread so the inside of the thighs was available. Let me tell you, I still remember them well. I would suggest that you have Evan assume a position, like bent over, and then hold still for his whipping, with penalties for not keeping still. I would think that sooner or later he would learn to hold still and take it."

There are two reasons that I don't put Evan's "junk" (as you say) in the front. First, the bench is not really designed to have him lie on top of his "junk". If he does so, his balls still stick out, because the bench spreads his legs well. Second, I like the view of his penis when I am spanking him on the bench. And it gives me an excellent barometer as to his level of sexual excitement. When his penis is fully retracted, I know I am doing a good job of spanking him.

But your suggestion of having Evan hold still for a caning / strapping, with penalties for moving is a good one. We haven't really done that before, but I could see us doing that sometime in the future.

An anonymous commenter says the following:

"And I see that your wearing pearls. Maybe you aren't really trying all that hard? Good to see you here sharing your life with the rest of us. Thank you."

I actually don't know what this commenter is talking about. (The bracelet that I was wearing in the photos is not pearls, by the way.) But why would the jewelry I am wearing have some contingency on whether I am trying? And what is the activity that I am not trying to do? This was a confusing comment. Perhaps it was lost in a translation.

freecroma10 says:

"How he tolerates the beating? Does he keep silent or wailing because of the pain under the strapping? Does he has to count the blows and has to say thanks for them possibility?"

Evan is rarely silent during a spanking / strapping. He tries to be quiet, but he can't help but yell out when it really hurts him. So I use his noise level as a second barometer (in addition to the size of his erection) to tell how hard I should spank. I like it when he is loud: that lets me know that I am doing a good job.

Regarding your second question, I used to have Evan count some strokes, but I rarely do that anymore. I find that if he can count the strokes, then it's usually not hurting enough. I find it more satisfying when he loses control and he has no idea how many strokes have come or are to come yet.

Another anonymous commenter asks the following:
"Question-is he getting spanked for some transgression or just because?"

Mostly just because. We used to do spankings based on transgressions, but I find it's generally better to do it just because I like it, and it's good for him. Some people call these "maintenance spankings". I think that that's what these are for us too, but they are very intense when they are on the bench.

Another anonymous commenter asks the following:

"Who takes the photos?"

As I have mentioned before, the photos are stills from videos that we take by setting up a video player at a fixed distance. We have not had a third party film us yet, although I would like to do this sometime, if we could find a photographer that we liked and trusted.

John R asks:

"Lovely, but can we see more of you, especially how you are dressed? Do you dress specially for Evan's punishments? My wife often puts on a severe outfit, which is appropriate for the occasion."

Most of the time, I don't dress specially to spank Evan. When I want to spank him, it doesn't matter what I am wearing (or what he is wearing, because it's coming off). But once in a while I will wear something extra sexy to seduce him into taking a good spanking.

That's it for now. I will write more in another week or so. I hope your summer is going well, as mine is.

To close, here are a couple of pictures of Evan right before an otk spanking. As you can see he was erect before this one. In this case, I let him touch himself for a minute or so before I pulled him over my knee for his spanking. (He was not permitted to orgasm before or after the spanking that day.)

Talk to you all later,

D.

more of the strap

2010-06-04T15:52:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Thanks for all the feedback. I will respond to some of your notes very soon.

Two of you asked where to get a bench like the one we have: here's what I said about this earlier:

(from http://spankingmyhusband.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#5692076394057255877)
"I have had some emails asking where we got the spanking bench. Evan bought this for me at http://www.bdgsales.com/bench.html for around $400 a few years ago. This is a very well-built bench. Evan is over 200 lbs, and the bench holds him very easily with no visible wear and tear, even after many uses. We haven't tried possible competitor benches, so we don't know if our bench is either the best value or the best quality out there. But it has served us very well, and so we definitely recommend it."

For now, here are a few more pictures of Evan receiving a strapping. This is a heavy 3-tailed tawse. In the first photo, Evan gets a solid strap across his right cheek:

And in the next photo, Evan gets a hard strap across his left cheek:

Then back to the right:

Then back to the left, where the three tails of the tawse are clearly visible:

These last two shots catch Evan just across his bottom crack, snapping hard on the inside of his right cheek. This is a spot that is hard to get with a paddle. He says these hurt a great deal.

This last one catches him almost in the crack. You can still see the ripple on his right cheek.

That's all of Evan's strapping for now. I will write more later.

D.

the strap applied to Evan's bottom

2010-06-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Thanks for your comments and suggestions regarding my experience with caning.

As some of you noted, when Evan is strapped to our spanking bench, his legs are well apart. This provides me with a lovely view of his penis and balls, but it also means that unless I am very confident in my aim, the cane isn't a very safe instrument. That is, I can't swing as hard as I want on each stroke, for fear that I might strike Evan's balls. Consequently, I prefer a paddle or a strap when Evan is strapped to our bench, because I have much better control of these implements. I can therefore swing fully with them.

Following much of your advice, I will practice my caning on Evan, with him bent over, off the bench.

Here are a few photos of Evan receiving the strap following the caning that he received earlier. I can swing the strap more fully than the cane, and consequently, Evan reports that it hurts a great deal more. This is a heavy three-tailed tawse, which is satisfying to swing. It makes lovely ripples on Evan's bottom:

In the photo above, you can still see that Evan has the traces of his earlier erection. But by the next couple of strokes, his penis has withdrawn fully, much to my satisfaction.

Here is a photo of an impact, followed by the ripples immediately after:

Evan definitely felt that one.

More later. Please keep the comments and discussion going.

Deirdre.

More of caning Evan

2010-05-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Sunday:

Here are the rest of my photos of Evan receiving caning while on the bench.

As I said earlier, I don't like the cane as well as other implements, because I am not as accurate with it. When I am using the cane, I can't swing as hard as I like and be confident of my aim. The strokes in the pictures below look nice on impact, but weren't as hard as paddle or strap strokes that I typically give.

In any case, they still hurt Evan a lot. After few strokes, his erection gets a lot smaller, as you can see.

In this last photo, you can see that Evan's erection has shrunk a lot. That is actually an impact shot, where the cane has bounced off of Evan's bottom.

Perhaps some of my difficulty in wielding a cane is due to the specific light-ish canes that I have. Perhaps with a heavier, less whippy, cane, I would have less trouble aiming. I may eventually get a less whippy cane. What do people who use canes recommend? Your feedback would be appreciated, especially if you have experience with canes and you know where to obtain them.

Have a great weekend,

D.

caning away an erection

2010-05-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Dear all:

Thank you for all your kind comments on my two most recent posts. I am glad that you like the photo of Evan with a large erection, over the bench. I like this photo too. One female commenter hypothesized that that no woman could resist reaching for Evan's penis in that position. I am no exception to this claim. I love touching and holding Evan's erection when it is displayed in that position. And even though I am dominant, I can't resist putting Evan's erection in my mouth every once in a while when it is presented so well on the bench. It is such a delicious piece of fruit.

In any case, part of the fun of getting Evan in that state is getting him out of that state. For most couples, this means giving your partner an orgasm. For us, it means I am going to spank and cane Evan hard, until his erection dissipates.

Here is one of the first cane strokes:

Note that Evan is still pretty erect in this photo. He stays pretty erect through these first few strokes.

He really yowled after the stroke above. I infer that wrapping the cane to the thighs is quite painful. Does this mean that I will stop striking there? Of course not. Precisely the opposite:

Look at all the lovely ripples. I think I am doing a good job. You can also tell that Evan isn't enjoying himself (or is he?) by the way his body is gyrating as much as it can within the confines of the tight straps. You can see his bottom shift to the left or right, and you can see his shoulders rise as much as they can.

More later...

D.

A great view

2010-05-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone:

Thanks for your comments on pegging. I will say more about that discussion later.

For now, here's another picture of Evan on the bench. He's nice and erect. What a great view, don't you think? I like nothing more than tormenting Evan with a good hard paddling when he is in this state. I have some good shots of Evan getting paddled, caned, and strapped in this series.

Talk to you more later,

D.

Pegging my husband

2010-05-23T17:10:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone:

Many men seem to be fascinated with receiving anal sex using a strap-on dildo. Evan brought this idea up with me early on in our relationship many years ago, and I was happy to oblige him. I very much enjoy putting on a dildo and "pegging" Evan, as the practice is more commonly known.

(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_(sexual_practice) )

When I peg Evan, it is not as a punishment for anything: it's just a sexual act between us, that emphasizes my dominance and his submission. I don't think it's so different from a man having anal sex with a woman: receiving anal sex is a pleasurable submissive experience for a woman, and a pleasurable dominant experience for a man. (Evan has never performed anal sex on me: I am not against receiving anal sex in principle, but (1) Evan's penis is much too thick for my anus (I am never having that in my bottom); and (2) I prefer the dominant role in our relationship.)

When Evan first brought up the idea of getting pegged, he was a bit tentative and shy about it. But over the years, he learned not to hold in his interests and desires, and to share them with me openly. I really liked the idea of pegging Evan, because I like to sexually dominate him, and have him in positions that make him feel submissive and vulnerable.

When I want to peg Evan - probably once every month or two - I will have him give himself an enema to clean himself out, so that there is no mess during the pegging. Enemas are generally thought to be healthy for the colon. The enema I have him perform consists simply of warm water with a few drops of vinegar. He takes a large-ish enema bag full of water (perhaps 2/3 or more of a normal enema bag from the pharmacy) while kneeling in the tub, and holds it in for 5-10 minutes, depending on my whim. I will often massage his back and talk to him while the water is going in. He is very quiet and submissive at this time, as he is concentrating hard on holding the water. When all the water is in, I will leave him for his timed waiting period. When he has held the water long enough, he will release it, which can take him a while. 30-60 minutes later he is ready to be pegged.

When we are ready to start, I have him kneel on our bed, with his bottom in the air. The strap-on dildo that I use most is not a strap-on at all: it is a "feel-doe", which inserts into my pussy (see the picture below).
This is an expensive toy from http://www.feeldoe.com/, but I think it is worth it for us. I like how it feels in me, as well as in him. According to the feeldoe people, the dildo that we have (the red one above) is 6 3/4" long and 1 5/8" thick. It is therefore very similar to Evan's penis in length and thickness, although Evan is a bit thicker. I tell him that he should be willing to take a penis of the same size as he gives out, which seems fair to me.

I insert the red bulb in my pussy, and then put some lube on Evan's anus, for him to receive the red penis. It takes a couple of minutes to get his anus to relax enough to receive this thick penis. He experiences the classic responses to anal sex: tightness from initial penetration. Eventually, I will get the head in, and slowly I will start to fuck him in his bottom. He says that the experience is overwhelming. He gets no orgasm from this: just a fullness and an overwhelming out-of-control submission feeling. I enjoy having him at my mercy, begging me to go slow. As in spanking, I like pushing him to his limits, as long as he is in no sharp pain here.

I will generally start to pick up the pace, until I go for a minute or two straight, with long deep strokes, all the way in, all the way out. In these sessions I generally like to make Evan moan out of control as much as possible. This goes on for a few minutes, then I will pull out, and I will have Evan lick me to orgasm. (I can't come from a dildo in my pussy: I need clitoral stimulation, and although the feeldoe feels good, I can't come from it.)

That's about all I have to say about pegging. As I said above, pegging is not really part of our spanking domestic-discipline arrangement. It's just a little submissive sex present for Evan every couple of months.

Here's a picture of Evan on the bench, getting ready for a spanking. I have never pegged him on the bench, because pegging and the bench don't quite go together for me, at least not yet. But this is roughly the view of Evan that I have before I start pegging him. (I have no photos of my pegging Evan.)

I look forward to your comments. Talk to you more soon,

D.

the end of Evan's otk spanking

2010-05-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone:

Thanks again for all the nice feedback. I am happy that you like our pictures. Here are the last few pictures from the spanking that I was writing about before. Here's me helping Evan off my lap. Note how nice and red his bottom and thighs are.

Here is Evan standing beside me post-spanking. Notice that his bottom is red, and his penis has shrunk down a lot after the spanking.

I give him one last squeeze before sending him on his way.

Talk to you all later. There are still many topics to cover: tease and denial; strap-on sex (which is fun, but not really a big deal for us); more real-life issues, like trying to get Evan to be submissive when I say so (life is complex: he has his own will, which doesn't always match mine); and issues about how others can find a female-led relationship like ours, if that's something you want. I will write more on these and other topics in later posts.

Bye for now,

Deirdre.

more of spanking evan otk

2010-05-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Thanks for continuing to comment. But please don't be rude in the comment section. Regarding my footwear, the slippers in this set of pictures are just my slippers to wear around the house. I wear nice shoes when I go out, but most of the times that I spank Evan, I am just wearing something comfortable around the house.

Mike, while I appreciate your defending my footwear, there is no need to tell the previous poster (who who like to see me wearing different shoes) to "get a life". That seems like an over-reaction to me. I do understand your point, however, and I agree with it: I will wear whatever I feel like when I am spanking Evan. But I don't think that it's necessary to be rude to other commenters in order to get this point across.

An anonymous Bob asked about the size of Evan's penis. Evan's penis is pretty large, as you can see in the photos. I have never measured it myself, but Evan tells me that it's approximately 7 inches long and 2 inches thick. Whatever its dimensions, I like it very much.

And to Jack who says, "I would love to see him spanked hard in front of a group of women!", I respond that I would happily do this, if I knew such group of women. In fact, I think I would happily spank Evan in front of men, women, or a mixed crowd, as long as I knew and trusted the people in question, and if they wanted to watch.

Here are the rest of the pictures of Evan's spanking which I started to post last time.

As you have seen before, he often squirms around when I start:

I keep going, until I can get a few long few sequences of spanks in.

This is after 30 or 40 spanks, and Evan's bottom is getting pink.

This is another 30 or more spanks later, and Evan's bottom is red.

He is finally giving up, and collapsing across my lap:

His head goes lower as he accepts his spanking.

The whole process only takes 3-5 minutes, usually under 100 or 200 spanks at most, even with pauses to talk to Evan about his behavior. A bench spanking is a much more involved event, and can take 30 minutes or more on the bench.

Please keep your comments coming. Talk to you soon,

Deirdre.

more of spanking away an erection

2010-05-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

If Evan has a partial erection before a spanking, I can't resist grabbing it and giving it a squeeze. After a couple of quick squeezes, Evan's penis becomes erect. I may then ask Evan to play with it for a little while, before I stop him (no ejaculation for him: we practice tease and denial), and put him over my lap.

In this sequence of pictures, you can see that he is partially erect at first, and he becomes more erect with just a few touches.

That was only a few seconds of my touch. Now he goes over my lap, and I squeeze his erection between my thighs.

His toes are curled: I don't like this. I tell him to relax his feet, so that his toes are relaxed. He quickly complies.
With his feet the way I like them, I can now start spanking in earnest. I redden his bottom nicely in this sequence.

I will post more photos later.

D.

spanking my husband to tears

2010-05-15T14:52:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

I gather that a big fantasy of people who want to be spanked is to be spanked to tears. My experience with spanking my husband Evan is that he hardly ever cries, except on rare occasions when he is being spanked for something that displeases me, and he is sad about how his behavior has hurt me or someone else in some way. Although he will yell out (a lot) from the pain of being spanked - especially over the bench - he won't cry from the pain.

I will post other pictures of him over the bench sometime soon. And I will write about some other issues that seem to keep coming up in the comments section. For now, here's another photo of me with a paddle.

Deirdre

more otk spanking for Evan

2010-05-14T18:16:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more photos from the otk spanking that I posted earlier. I will post a more contentful blog entry soon.

Deirdre

a brief note

2010-05-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all for all the kind comments regarding my bottom. Evan likes it too.

Several of you are asking about my use of a strap-on on Evan. In answer to one comment: no, Evan doesn't wear panties. I am not interested in seeing him in women's clothes, and he has shown no such inclinations himself, as far as I know. And no, I don't have Evan suck on dildos that I insert into him. This is not something that excites me.

But I do like penetrating Evan with a dildo. I will describe such an event in more detail at some point, but I don't have time right now. (It takes a while to write these descriptions.)

I will talk more later.

the function of spanking

2010-05-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Happy mothers day to all of you. I just talked to my mom, and Evan already talked to his mom too. Someday I hope that we will have children of our own. (But when we do, I will probably stop blogging: I understand that lives change with children.)

I get a lot of questions about how often I spank Evan, and why. As I have mentioned before, we don't have a regular schedule: I do it when the time is right, which is mostly when I feel like it.

For us, the function of the spanking is not to correct something in Evan. I spank Evan (1) because I like to do it; and (2) because he needs it (although he doesn't tell me so anymore). There is some need in him to be taken over my knee or over the bench, and to be spanked long and hard, past his comfort zone. I can tell that he feels better after a spanking. As for me, I enjoy pushing him hard: it makes me feel close to him, to give him something that no one else can give him. The spankings bring us closer emotionally.

I have also been asked how I decide to spank over the knee vs. on the bench. That question is easier to answer: it is much more convenient to spank over the knee, so we mostly do that. The bench involves a serious time and emotional investment for both of us, because, as you have seen, I spank pretty hard over the bench. Consequently, I will most often spank Evan over my knee.

People have also asked if I take Evan with a strap-on on the bench. Mostly not. I do occasionally take Evan with a strap-on, but I do that to him in our bed, in the evening. There is no need to tie him down for receiving anal sex: he can remain in position without much difficulty. It's always a bit difficult for him to relax to receive the dildo, but once he does relax, he takes it pretty well. He says that it's overwhelming to be taken in the bottom, but not painful (except a little bit initially).

I have also been asked if I will let Evan spank me for the camera. The answer to this question is definitely not. As I mentioned in our early bio, I let Evan spank me a few times in the early part of our relationship, and I hated it. The spanking hurt a lot (even though Evan used only his hand), and I didn't like the loss of control at all. Consequently, you won't ever see me getting spanked. I am much happier giving than receiving.

Finally, I have been asked if I might pose nude for you all. Unfortunately, no. Although I am proud of my body, posing naked for you feels too submissive to me, in this forum. I like to be the one in control, so I will only show you some limited views of my body. However, I will provide you with a view of my rear end. Evan adores my bottom, and he would like to have been able to keep spanking me. Now he worships my bottom, but never does it any harm.

Until later,

Deirdre.

more on female superiority / supremacy

2010-05-08T15:27:00.001-07:00

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to comment on my remarks regarding female superiority / supremacy. Thanks to ajr, Brett, George, Carl, hot_bottom, subguyinAtl, Recidavist and Bob for their general support of my positions. Thanks to ajr for the links to the blog 'femdom 101, mommydom 201 or a kool aid drinker', which includes some facetious Elise Sutton sightings, such as http://femdomnonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/elise-sutton-saturdays.html .
Although I understand the humor underlying the femdom-101 posts, such posts are likely to be reflecting the truth, which is a bit depressing.

One comment, by an anonymous commenter, seemed to disagree substantially with my equality hypothesis. This commenter argues that women are superior to men because "women need more from their men sexually". In particular, it is claimed that women are superior to men (a) because women's orgasms are not necessarily linked with procreation; (b) because women's orgasms can be experienced from a greater variety of sources (clitoral, vaginal, g-spot, in the mind); and (c) because women's orgasms can be multiple.

The link between women's orgasms and superiority baffles me, however. I like my orgasms a lot, and perhaps they are better than a typical man's (or maybe not). But I don't see how such a possibility would make women superior to men, except that perhaps women have better and more diverse orgasms than men. The typical discussion of female vs. male superiority centers around strengths in leadership and intelligence, which were the dimensions of comparison that I was discussing. It's unclear how sexual interests or needs relate to such strengths, if at all. The typical argument for female superiority is that women are better group leaders, they are calmer, etc. Enjoying sex more seems orthogonal to being smarter and/or a better leader, unless a causal relationship can be established.

Another commenter, mysster, defines supremacy / superiority in a different way than I do: "as tags in the awakening in males of their desire to submit, to feel submissive, to let a Female take the lead"

mysster goes on as follows: "if 'supremacy' serves as an aphrodisiac phrase to lead us where we want to be in a relationship with a Woman who wishes to dominate, why not?"

These are not the typical definitions of the words "supremacy" and "superiority". Re-defining these words to mean something else makes communication about these notions difficult. To take an extreme example, if I start using the word "not" to mean "likely", it will be confusing for people that I am trying to communicate with. (Compare "I will not / likely do what you are asking".) A less extreme example of communication failure will occur when you utter the phrase "female supremacy" to mean your desire to submit to some woman or women. You will confuse people like me, who understand the meaning of the word "supremacy" very differently than you do, and in some circumstances, if you get involved with women who are true female supremacists (if such women actually exist), then it could have unwanted consequences.

Finally, jm makes some interesting hypotheses about F/M relationships, including the following conclusion "it is equality of need and mutual respect that lie at the heart of an F/M relationship." I think a more general statement can be made "it is equality of need and mutual respect that lie at the heart of any good relationship." That is, all good relationships - F/M, M/F, M/M and F/F - need equality and mutual respect for happy, healthy people. (Recidavist makes some related remarks in his comment.) I just happen to like to spank my Evan in our relationship, and he likes this too.

To conclude, here are some photos for you all. These pictures are from a recent otk for Evan. As you can see, he starts squirming when I spank. He managed to stay over my lap for 3 one-minute sets of spanks, using my paddle. The first minute appears to have been the worst. He managed to calm down for the latter two one-minute sets.

Keep the comments coming!

A case study on the effect of a spanking on an erection

2010-05-07T06:17:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Thank you for the comments on my last post, regarding my lack of belief in any general female superiority / supremacy. I will respond to these comments soon.

Today I am posting a few more pictures from the spanking that figured prominently in my February posts. In the current pictures, I focus on the effect that my spanking has on Evan's penis. Because Evan squirms so much, the camera films his penis when he turns sideways on my lap, and the viewer can see the state of his arousal. In this first picture, I have just started his spanking, and he is fairly erect. (Click on the picture to get a better view.)

Only a couple of minutes later, Evan's penis has shrunken dramatically:

And then a little while later, it has made close to a full retreat:

Putting these three side by side, we can better see the effects of spanking on Evan's erection (click to get a better view):

Many other similar spanking events over the years lead me to conclude that when Evan has an erection at the outset of a spanking, the spanking diminishes his erection.

Here are before and after photos, with Evan standing beside me (again, click for a better view):

You can see a slightly erect penis on the left picture, pre-spanking. Evan's penis has shrunken a lot in the right picture, post-spanking (note the red color of his behind).

If there is interest, I may present a similar case study of an effect on Evan's penis when receiving a spanking on our spanking bench. Sometimes before I start to spank Evan on the bench, I will first massage his penis to make it erect. Then as spank him, the erection disappears. It's quite remarkable how long the erection stays: he is usually quite erect even after the first continuous minute of spanking, in spite of the fact that he is clearly in a lot of pain throughout this minute. Thus, it seems to take quite some time for the blood to flow away from his penis, perhaps a couple of minutes at the least.

When I spank Evan over my knee, it seems like the erection goes away faster, but I think that this is only because I can't spank him continuously over my knee for a minute or two initially: he squirms away from me because of the pain. The time for the erection to disappear would probably be the same as on the bench: on the order of a couple of minutes. When he is over my knee, he hasn't got much of a spanking after only a couple of minutes, because of all his squirming.

I hope you all enjoyed my analysis. Talk to you all later,

D.

My take on female superiority / female supremacy

2010-05-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone:

Today, I wanted to share my point of view on female superiority / female supremacy. When one visits a website dedicated to information on female dominance in a relationship, one often seems to encounter views espousing female superiority / female supremacy more generally. For example, one well-known source of information on female dominance is the Elise Sutton website (http://www.elisesutton.com/), which argues for female supremacy.

There are at least two possible views on female superiority / supremacy: (1) that all women are superior to all men; or (2) that women on average are superior to men. (The key dimensions which people who discuss these ideas typically have in mind are intellectual superiority and superiority with respect to leadership qualities.) Let us first consider the first view, whereby all women are superior to all men in the dimensions of intellect and leadership. The Elise Sutton website seems to espouse this view. I find this claim to be highly implausible. There are clearly lots of examples of men who are incompetent and/or poor leaders, but this observation does not imply that all men are inferior to all women. In fact, it's pretty easy to falsify such a hypothesis: many men are clearly superior to many women in intellect and leadership qualities. E.g., our president or Mahatma Gandhi are clearly superior to most women (and men, for that matter) on these dimensions.

The more interesting claim is that women are superior to men on average, in intellectual and leadership qualities. Although this is an interesting hypothesis, there is no quantitative evidence in support of it that I am aware of. Neither is there any strong evidence in favor of the opposite view: that men are superior to women in intellectual and leadership qualities. The clear null hypothesis here is that men and women are equal in these dimensions. I will therefore assume the null hypothesis (as any scientist should) until I encounter evidence to the contrary.

How does this affect relationships? The null hypothesis is that both men and women differ a lot in their desires to lead and/or be led in a relationship. So while I very much like to dominate my husband Evan, this doesn't mean that all women should like to do the same thing with their mates. Indeed, many women may like to be dominated by their mates. If so, they should seek a man (or woman) who likes a more dominant role in the relationship. Yet others (perhaps the majority) might like a balanced relationship in terms of power.

Regarding the Elise Sutton website, there was some discussion on she-makes-the-rules.com a while ago about whether Elise Sutton was a real woman, or perhaps was a man masquerading as a woman. (Search for Elise Sutton in the discussion forum.) None of the women at she-makes-the-rules.com (some of whom are active in female dominant circles) had ever met Elise Sutton, so they suspected that "she" was really a man. I would guess that they are right: until someone I know can verify "her" in real life, I will assume that Elise Sutton is just an over-active male fantasy.

Finally, I would like to add that I am not superior to my husband Evan: I am just dominant over him. We both happen to like it that way.

I usually like to include a photo or two, for the more visually-inclined of my readers. Here's another shot of me in my pink sweater and skirt, with my paddle.

And here's a shot of Evan receiving an over the knee spanking, for general naughtiness.

My best wishes to all,

Deirdre.

A strap across the bottom

2010-05-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone:

Thanks for all the comments. I will keep trying to post every now and then. And I will answer all of your questions eventually.

One question that seems to come up a lot is on what occasions I spank Evan. As I think I have mentioned before, most of the occasions on which I spank Evan are occasions where I just feel like it, because it excites me to be in control of my husband. Evan makes me so happy that I don't really have any reason to spank him, other than I just like to do so. He used to want to get spanked (and I think deep down he still needs it), but I seem to have spanked him hard enough that he is frightened of it now. Anyway, mostly I spank him now because I enjoy it. I like having complete control over him, and I like getting him to do things that he wouldn't normally do, like take a strapping while being tied to our bench.

Because Evan and I are both very busy at work these past few months, most of our spankings nowadays are over the knee, because they are so much quicker to arrange. A bench spanking is a big mental and emotional commitment for both me and Evan. Our work life may calm down a bit in a couple of months, and I am confident that I will get him on the bench then.

I will close with two more pictures. Here's a shot of Evan getting a three-tailed tawse strapped across his bottom. This strapping followed the paddling that I showed earlier.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, I like the tawse. It's pretty easy to handle, and it gives a satisfying impact, which Evan clearly feels.

Finally, here's another picture of me from the hotel a few months ago:

Thanks for all the kind comments about me in my outfit, holding my paddle. Evan likes these pictures a lot. I am glad you all do too.

Deirdre

another of me with my paddle

2010-05-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Thanks for all your comments. I am glad you like the pictures of Evan on the bench. For all you men who complain about how hard I spank him: please remember that he asked to be taken beyond his comfort zone! It's definitely intense for him, but he appreciates it (later).

Here's a photo that Evan took of me in a hotel a couple of months ago, before a fancy event that we went to. I threatened him with a spanking after the event, but I don't think I actually gave him one there: we got back late, and we just curled up together and went to sleep. I spanked him at home later.

More later,

D.

More of Evan on the bench

2010-05-01T11:28:00.000-07:00

First, thank you so much for all the comments and questions. I am glad to know that my efforts to publicize our lifestyle are so well appreciated. I really appreciate your feedback, even if it's just a one liner. And I am always happy to answer your questions.

Parivash asks why I don't use a riding crop: It's mostly because I find the implements that I do use (paddles & hairbrush mostly) to be the easiest to aim, and get a strong effect in Evan. I have used a riding crop, and I like it too, but not quite as much as my paddles. I have a couple of heavy straps that I also like, but again, they aren't as easy to aim. They are good for the bench, but less good for day-to-day spankings, because I don't carry a strap in my purse with me (whereas I do carry a paddle in my purse).

George suggests that I shouldn't be too hard on Evan for yelling even more loudly when I strike him on his balls by mistake, in the course of a strapping. I agree. I was just joking about spanking him more for yelling. I actually love his yelling: it's so sincere. He doesn't fake it at all. I invite you to come and listen sometime. He does his best not to yell early on in a spanking, and just can't contain himself after only 20 or 30 seconds. It's very endearing.

Thanks to Carl and Rachel for the kind compliments.

An anonymous reader asks if I spank Evan regularly or sporadically. The answer is sporadic. Real life makes it difficult for us to stick to any regular spanking plans too carefully. I try to spank Evan over my knee every couple of weeks, and over the bench whenever I can convince him to get on there. But the more that I spank him on the bench, the less willing he seems to be to get on it. This is not too surprising, but I need a longer term plan to get him on there more regularly. I know I can do it, but real life is complex sometimes.

Anyway, keep the comments coming!

Here are some more photos of Evan getting a good spanking on our bench. These shots are after 3 minutes of lexan paddle (as shown earlier): 2 minutes with a solid wooden paddle (which we got from the Disciplinary Wives Club many years ago).

As you can see, Evan's bottom is nice and red from the lexan paddle already, and I am going low again here. The audio in this video is great: every time that I strike Evan's thighs, he yells louder and louder. It's rewarding to know that he genuinely appreciates my efforts.

Lovely ripples from a solid spank.

And another.
Even lower... I think this is the lowest that I have ever gone on his thighs. He was quite bruised afterwards for a couple of weeks.

On this last shot, you can see he has already been bruised down low on his thighs, and yet he receives a few more solid spanks down low.

Till next time,

D.

Feedback on our spanking bench

2010-04-28T19:11:00.001-07:00

Thank you all for the feedback on my recent posts. It's very nice to know that people are reading my blog. As I have mentioned to some of you in email, one of the points of this blog is to put the idea out there in the mainstream that it's ok for a woman to beat their husbands' bottoms, if both partners enjoy this activity.

Rob says: "I can only begin to imagine how intimidating this must be for Evan, knowing he cannot control the punishment."

Yes, Evan is frightened of the bench. In fact, it's hard to get him to go on with any regularity! I will talk about this sometime later: I need ways to get him on the bench when I say (which is hard to enforce).

"On the other hand, it must be a total thrill for you to see him in this position, so totally vulnerable."

Yes, definitely. I like having him there very much.

Hank's Sara says: "tell me do you leave him in that position after the spanking for a bit? Such a great visual I must confess."

I don't think that I have left him on the bench for more than an hour at the most. It's an interesting idea to leave him on for longer sometime: I may try that.

Rachel asks: "Do you wear your swimsuit as you have evan in position? Is he hairy on his butt or is this natural?"

No, I have never spanked Evan while wearing a swimsuit. I typically spank Evan in the evening, and I don't often wear a swimsuit in the evening.

In answer to Rachel's second question, Evan is not very hairy on his butt. That is his natural non-hairiness. But part of the reason that he looks hairless is that the camera overexposed the scene. That's also the reason that you can't see how deep red his bottom got.

One anonymous commenter suggests that I fig Evan while he is on the bench, with the practice of "figging" consisting of inserting a piece of ginger into the anus, which causes a burning sensation.

I have figged Evan on several occasions. I will write a blog entry about that sometime. It will also not surprise you that (a) Evan suggested it originally; and (b) he doesn't like it at all. The ginger seems to have a strong effect on him (which is entertaining for me).

Carl says: "do you get tired while spanking Evan? 60 to 100 spanks per minute for 3-5 minutes is a lot of work! You're obviously in good shape, but I wonder if you get out of breath, arm tired, or sweaty."

I usually spank for 1-2 minutes at a time, for a total of 5-10 minutes. This hurts Evan a lot, and yes, it does get a bit tiring toward the end of each timed piece. But I don't do this for long enough to get sweaty or out of breath. And I have a pair of dumbbells that help me keep my arms in a good shape.

SubguyinAtl says: "When you moved down to the thighs, I would be screaming and crying like a 10 year old. Does Evan humiliate himself like I would by completely losing control?"

Evan certainly yells a lot when I spank his thighs. But he yells a lot when I start on his bottom also. I don't know if there is any difference in the kind of yelling he does: both are very intense. It's when he stops yelling so loudly that I typically move to an unmarked territory (such as the thighs) and start there. That usually gets him yelling again pretty quickly.

I don't know about "humiliating himself": it's pretty humiliating to be tied down like that to start with. He definitely loses control when I spank him on the bench. The spankings always go well past his comfort level, so he is crying out for long periods for me to stop.

Redtail says: "I have never been restrained during an adult spanking, but it is a hope that someday my wife will agree to restraining me. I am like Evan and usually end up stopping the spanking when i think I have had enough."

Evan says that the bench spankings have satisfied him completely on ever wanting to be out of control: when on the bench, he has no control over what happens next, and it always goes well beyond what would be his limits if he were over my knee. I wish that I were strong enough to restrain him myself over my knee (with no need for the bench), but the bench is a good substitute for our strength imbalance.

Finally, Carl says "You must be a terribly good aim to be so near to his sensitive penis and testicles with the paddle. I cringe at the thought if you caught the inner thigh just slightly too much and nicked the sensitive bits. Yikes! Has it ever happened?"

It's not hard at all to aim well with my paddles. I have never hit him in a place that I didn't aim for using my paddles. If I want to spank his inner thighs or cheeks, I can pull the cheek out and spank with the other hand. However, it's harder to aim with a cane or a strap. We have a three-tailed strap that I really like: I can aim quite well with it, striking very hard. However, it's hard to aim where the three tails will all hit exactly. Once, while aiming for his near cheek, I managed to nick his testicles, just a tiny bit. What a yell followed that strike! He was screaming as loudly as he could, at a different frequency when that happened. I still gave him a few more strikes, and then asked him what he was yelling about. He told me, and so I checked his balls very carefully. There was no mark or suggestion of damage. However, I was careful not to strike him there again. I had recorded that spanking, and in watching the recording, we could see his balls get a slight touch of my strap. It was such a slight contact, for such a loud response. I suppose it hurt a lot, but there was no real damage at all. I should have spanked him a lot longer and harder after that for making such a fuss.

More pictures to come later. My best to all. Keep the comments coming.

Deirdre.

The bench and the lexan paddle

2010-04-25T14:46:00.001-07:00

Hi all:

I have had some emails asking where we got the spanking bench. Evan bought this for me at http://www.bdgsales.com/bench.html for around $400 a few years ago. This is a very well-built bench. Evan is over 200 lbs, and the bench holds him very easily with no visible wear and tear, even after many uses. We haven't tried possible competitor benches, so we don't know if our bench is either the best value or the best quality out there. But it has served us very well, and so we definitely recommend it.

Regarding my lexan paddle, it's 3/8" thick, with holes in it (which I doubt make any difference to the effect, but they look menacing). Evan got this for me from http://www.paddlewerks.com/ . I don't know if this paddle is unbreakable, but I have not been able to damage it in any way while striking Evan's bottom. I think it will win in a battle against Evan's behind.

Finally, one commenter asked if I shave Evan's behind. No, that's just his natural bald bottom state. He is not a very hairy man, except on his head. He has a little bit of hair on his bottom, but it's not visible in those camera shots.

Thanks for all the kind comments. Yes, Evan and I do have a good time together.

Talk to you more soon,

D.

Evan on the bench

2010-04-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone:

Thanks for all the nice comments regarding the pictures of me. I appreciate your kind words very much. I like to look sexy for Evan, and for other people too.

Here are a few more pictures of Evan on the bench. I can tell when his bottom "warms up", after a minute or two of spanking, because he stops yelling so loudly. I then often move down a bit to his lower bottom or his thighs. This really gets his attention, and he will start yelling to me to please stop again. Of course, I don't stop until the allotted time is up: we have made an agreement as to the punishment length, and I have to follow through.

Comments are always appreciated.

D.

some more pics of me with a paddle

2010-04-23T14:04:00.001-07:00

Here are a couple of shots of me in a bathing suit holding my favorite paddle. I like to turn Evan on by wearing a sexy bathing suit, and then spank him while he is excited. This keeps us both happy!

Evan strapped to our spanking bench

2010-04-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

I have promised some pictures of Evan strapped to our spanking bench. Here are a few, as promised.

I really like our spanking bench because Evan is completely immobile there: he can't move out of the way at all, as he tends to do when I am spanking him over my lap. Typically, when I spank Evan on the bench, I like to spank him for fixed periods of time, starting with one minute, and working up to 2-3 minutes, depending on my mood. (You can see in many of these pictures that I am holding a watch.) The total spanking time will range from 6 to 10 or more minutes (which is quite a long time, if you ask Evan). I use a variety of implements, including paddles, straps and canes. The pictures below show a few of the spanks from the first minute of a bench spanking. I can usually get in between 60 and 100 spanks each minute, and sometimes more, if I want to. Evan has counted over 150 in a minute of some spankings on the bench that we have filmed. That's about as fast as I can spank, while keeping up the intensity of each spank.

I am using a lexan paddle in this part of his spanking. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I never bother spanking with my hand: I can't hurt Evan that way. I always use some kind of implement when spanking, even when just starting out. And as I have stated earlier, I never spank lightly. Although I don't spank as hard as I possibly can all the time, I try to swing hard with each spank. It's especially easy for me to spank hard when Evan is strapped to the bench because (a) he can't move out of the way; and (b) I have a free range of motion, without him getting in the way, as he does when he is over my lap.

As you can see, Evan is completely immobile when he is strapped to the bench. His legs, arms and body are secured tightly, so he cannot move at all. The bench is well padded, so it's perfectly comfortable until I start spanking. But there is no pain from the bench itself. I can leave him strapped there for an hour or more, with no pain other than a bruised bottom.

You can also see that Evan is naked when I strap him to the bench. After he is strapped down, I sometimes play with his penis and balls in this exposed position, until he is very erect. I then spank away the erection, which takes a surprising amount of time, given all the noise that he makes.

I did not touch him before this spanking, however, and so his penis is tucked well underneath him.

This was one of the first spanks. I like the nice rippling effect on his bottom. Unfortunately, the color is not very good in this video. The light in the room wasn't ideal for filming. I have found that our camera picks up the color of Evan's spanked bottom best using natural daylight, but this spanking was in the evening, lit by lights in the room.

You can see from the ripples on his bottom that I am spanking hard. Also, notice that he is already squirming from side to side, as much as he can (which isn't much). You can also see the tip of his penis making an appearance as he moves himself forward and backward on the bench a little bit.

In this last series of shots, you can see that Evan is shifting around as much as he can, trying to avoid the paddle. He is unsuccessful: I can spank him exactly where I want to.

In this last pair of shots, you can see that Evan's bottom is starting to get red after many spanks. The color in the video really didn't do this spanking justice: his bottom was red at this point (and was soon to get redder). You can also see him arching his back as much as the bench will allow him to, so that you can see the back of his head in the first picture. He was in a lot of distress at this point in the spanking, yelling to me to please stop.

Evan tells me that the first minute on the bench is usually the worst, and, judging by the noise he makes, I believe him. I can see that he tries to take it "like a man" as best as he can when we start, but the spanks clearly hurt a lot. By around ten seconds or so (10 or more spanks), he usually calls out to stop, or to not spank so hard. Unfortunately for him, this is just the beginning. By the time we get to around 20 seconds (20-30 spanks), he is yelling more freely, starting to beg me to stop and give him a break. But I never give him such a break. I like this time very much, while he is exposed and immobile, begging me to stop. His yelling lets me know that I am doing a good job. He often starts really yelling loudly at about 30 seconds through, but I don't slow down at all. As he yells more, I usually advise him that it's ok for him to yell, and that perhaps if he starts to cry, he will feel better. In any case, I just keep spanking until the allotted time is up.

Ironically, Evan bought this bench for me because he wanted to feel what it was like to give up control completely. Because he is so much bigger and stronger than me, I can't hold him down to give him a spanking as I wish: it's really up to him if he wants to stop it at any point. And, in practice, he will in fact stop me if it's too much, as you can see in the pictures in previous posts. When Evan squirms so much, I end up having to stop to get him back in position. Our bench eliminates any possibility of him being able to stop the spanking. He has to take what I give him, when I say. This is exciting to both him and me. It is very exciting for me to have him there at my mercy.

As one might imagine, Evan says that it is scary being strapped to the bench before a spanking, waiting for the spanking to start. I can tell that he is nervous then. He says that it is unbearable being spanked like that, tied down, with no hope of escape until I say it's over. He says that the pain is hard to describe. If he could remember it, I doubt he would get back on the bench for later trips. But there is clearly something exciting for him there, because he always returns.

Ok, that's enough for now. Posting really takes a lot of time! Please post your comments. I appreciate the feedback.

Love to all,

Deirdre

nettles

2010-04-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone:

Thanks for all the kind comments. I am glad you all missed me: it's nice to feel like my contribution was wanted.

I have a question for you: I have read about the effect of stinging nettles on a bare bottom before and/or after spanking. I would like to try this on Evan sometime. But I don't know where to find stinging nettles. Where might one find them in the New England / Boston area? I gather from my searches on the web that this is a native plant around here, but I don't know where to find it. It's spring now, so it might be available sometime soon, if I knew where to look.

Thanks for your help,

Deirdre

back again...

2010-04-19T20:27:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone:

Sorry for the long delay in posting. Thanks to all of you who wrote to me to see if I was ok. Everything has been fine at home and at work: I have just been busy with work in real life. I hope I will have more time to post in the near future, but unfortunately I can't guarantee anything.

In any case, here are the remainder of the photos from the last set of pictures of me spanking Evan otk. As you can see, he didn't like that spanking much. But he always appreciates it, deep down.

Finally, it's over (for now):

There's always more to come. In Evan's case, at least once every couple of weeks... (He's a good husband, but I like to beat his bottom to keep him that way.)

Drop me a line to let me know you're reading again. I will try to update more often in the next couple of weeks.

Deirdre.

Our sex life

2010-02-21T07:46:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have been away for so long: I meant to post last weekend, but I got too busy with work-related issues. I want to post every week, but sometimes I won't be able to do so. That's how life is sometimes.

This week I wanted to talk briefly about Evan's and my sex life. I think that I am like many women (and probably many men too) in that I only engage in sexual acts in the context of my relationship. I am generally only excited in the context of my love for Evan (and in previous relationships, in my love for my previous partners), so Evan and I have sexual contact only with each other.

Our sex life is only tangentially related to spanking. Whereas spanking turns both of us on, it doesn't lead to love-making most of the time. Evan and I engage in typical sex a few times per week. When we make love, I generally have Evan go down on me. I love it when he licks my pussy: I get the best orgasms that I have ever had in my life that way. (They are absolutely incredible!) I also enjoy penetrative sex a lot, even though I don't come this way. I love Evan's cock: it's big and thick, and it fills me up. We like all positions, but I like sex from behind the best. I feel a bit out of control when Evan pounds into me from behind. I do this to him sometimes too, with a dildo in his bottom, so he knows how this feels. (I will talk about taking him from behind in a later post.) Evan has never and will never take me in my bottom: his penis is too thick for me. I like something small in my anus sometimes (like Evan's little finger or his tongue) but his penis is never going to fit there. So I will be the only one having anal sex in our relationship.

When we have sex, I almost always like to have an orgasm, but we sometimes engage in tease and denial for Evan, where I will get Evan very excited repeatedly, getting him close to orgasm, but then not let him come. We have some fun rituals in that area that I will talk about later. I really enjoy tease and denial, but it's not always practical, if we each have a lot of work to do. That is, if Evan is very worked up from not coming, he isn't as able to focus on his work, which is not ideal. And if I am very busy at work, I just can't get too involved in sex: I may need to focus on work. We therefore don't always engage in tease and denial. But when we do, it's a lot of fun for both of us.

This blog is about spanking, so here are a few more pictures from the last spanking I was showing you. In the first picture, Evan's bottom is getting nice and red. I spanked very hard in this spanking, and his bottom showed it nicely.

In this second shot, you can see his legs come off the ground again, a sure sign that he is losing control. (Remember that I like his legs relaxed, with the toes pointing away.)

He is really starting to lose control in the next few pictures. So much so, that he is starting to twist on me again. This means we will have to stop to get him straightened out, and then start up again, until I can get 40 or 50 hard spanks in a row. I will then do this a couple of times.

Eventually, I will show you some pictures of Evan strapped to our spanking bench (to be discussed in future posts). When he is strapped down, he can't move at all, and I give him several non-stop minutes of hard spanking. I like the bench a lot: it's very entertaining to hear him yowl, when he can't move away at all. Evan is not as big a fan of the bench as I am - he is really scared of it - but I can coax him to get strapped down about once every month or two.

Finally, please keep the comments coming. I very much like the interaction in the comments section. If you aren't comfortable commenting publicly, please drop me an email. I answer all emails and comments.

Talk to you all soon. Deirdre.

Scolding my husband during spanking

2010-02-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

Several of you have asked me if I lecture or scold Evan while I am spanking him. I am not sure if "lecturing" or "scolding" are quite the right words for what I do, but I definitely talk to him during spanking. I never yell: I speak calmly and forcefully. I end up telling him very similar things across different spankings:

First, I tell him to stay in position. As you can see from the pictures, he squirms a lot. I like the fact that my spanking hurts his bottom so much, but the squirming hurts my legs at times, because he is a big man. So I am often telling him to stop moving around. (Sometimes I do tie him down, so he can't squirm, but that is a topic for a later entry.)

Second, I ask him why I am spanking him. I can tell that he doesn't like it when I ask this. He doesn't like to tell me why he is being spanked. The reasons are usually pretty simple: he may have been a bit curt or impolite with me at some point during the day or the previous week. Alternatively, if he has been well behaved, then I want him to tell me that he needs my discipline. It seems difficult for him to articulate these reasons to me while he is over my knee, but I will wait. I will spank for a little while, making him really feel it, then stop so that I can hear that he understands why he is getting this. It's good for our communication to bring this out during the spanking. It may be somewhat hard for him, but it's good for him, and I enjoy it. I like to make him do things that are hard for him.

Third, he complains a lot while he is getting spanked. He says things like "It hurts! It hurts so much!" over and over. It's actually kind of funny to listen to: he seems surprised how much it hurts every time that we start a spanking, and he will say these sentences repeatedly. I laugh inside, but I respond too: I tell him that of course it hurts. It's meant to hurt. I tell him that it's ok, he can cry if it hurts a lot, that that will make him feel better. I tell him that crying will really let his feelings out.

(Evan rarely cries, however, unless I am truly annoyed with him, and he has let me down in some way. This is quite unusual for us / him. He has cried during a spanking a few times, but those were times when he felt very sorry for doing something that had hurt me or someone else. He has been generally well behaved for a long time now (probably because we are both so happy with each other) and so he hardly ever cries anymore.)

I will write a separate blog entry or two about the psychology of spanking at some point. Part of that topic concerns crying when getting spanked. Many people seem very interested in that topic.

For now, here are some more pictures of Evan getting his bottom reddened. Note the squirming: he really moves around. I like the fourth, fifth and sixth pictures here, where Evan has squirmed sideways so much that you see his penis. Although he started erect at the beginning of this spanking, his penis not close to being erect anymore, as we can see pretty clearly. A hard spanking always has that effect on him. I like to have Evan erect when we start, so that I have a clear barometer on how much he feels the spanking. I spank hard and long enough so that his erection is completely gone part way through.

As always, I appreciate your feedback: please leave comments, even just to say hello.

Readers from all over the world

2010-02-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

I installed a statcounter link in my blog when I started it (statcounter.com), and it's interesting to look at the statistics so far. There are approximately 500 readers / day over the past few weeks, from all over the world. The distribution of people appears to be about 60% from the US; 10% from the UK (I had heard that the Brits are really into spanking); and some smaller but consistent percentages from Canada, Germany and France. There are lots of others too, but probably we are generally restricted to English-dominated cultures.

Here's a random bar graph of 500 readers from a week ago. (The resource that I use statcounter.com is free as long as you don't want stats for more than the 500 most recent visitors.)

Anyway, I just want to welcome the visitors from all over the world. The internet is a great world-connector! Please say hi in the form of a comment, if you haven't already. And tell me where you're from, if you are willing. There is no need to be shy: you can always comment anonymously if you want to.

Making a paddle

2010-02-06T08:40:00.000-08:00

I read some of wdspoone's blog today http://maamyesmaam.blogspot.com/, and it's really good. The most recent post is a detailed account of how to make your own paddle. I don't happen to need another paddle (I love my purse-sized paddles) but this is an excellent resource for others:

http://maamyesmaam.blogspot.com/2010/02/paddle-making-101-part-2.html

Thanks, wdspoone

Real life

2010-01-30T12:19:00.000-08:00

Writing this blog has been fun, in large part because I like interacting with all the people that write comments and send email. Thank you very much for being a part of my community. However, it's also time-consuming to write a blog, as anyone who has done so knows. The process of writing this blog also makes me think about the difference between "real life" and "fantasy life". Here's what I mean.

This blog is called "spanking my husband". While I do indeed spank my husband, it only happens every couple of weeks. Being in charge in our household is actually rarely about kinky sex. Sure, we do engage in some kinky-ish things (like spanking), but in reality, such events happen only every couple of weeks. Most of my leading Evan does not involve any kink whatsoever. On most evenings we either need to work or, if we can relax, we might snuggle up on the couch and watch some TV. Spanking is great fun, but we mostly just like to be with each other.

And frankly, I am rarely upset with Evan. We get along great most of the time. We have our differences, but for most of those differences, I don't want to spank him: I want to work the differences out through communication. I do like to spank him, but really it's mostly to get close to him: something we both like. It hurts him and makes him yell, but I know that he really loves this.

Here's a few more stills from that same video as in the last blog post. See how Evan squirms on the next few spanks. If you could see my face on the last shot, you would see a big smile.

Please keep the comments and emails coming.

Hairbrush

2010-01-27T06:11:00.000-08:00

As was pointed out by a couple of commenters, a wooden hairbrush is a good (and classic) spanking instrument. I have used a few hairbrushes on Evan's bottom in my time, and I like them almost as much as my spanking paddles. I like my spanking paddles slightly more, however. First, my paddles are heavier: very thick, solid wood. While I am sure one can find a heavy wooden hairbrush somewhere, many that are available in drugstores are not very heavy. It can be a lot of work to spank hard using a lightweight hairbrush, even if it's made of wood. I know when Evan feels his spankings (he squirms and complains a lot), and in order to make him really feel it, I have to work hard with a light hairbrush. My paddles have a stronger impact with less effort on my part. Second, I really like my hairbrushes for their intended purpose. I have actually broken a light weight hairbrush on Evan's behind, and I don't want to do that again. I will never break my paddles on Evan's behind: they are much too sturdy.

One advantage of a hairbrush that some of you have pointed out is that you can leave hairbrushes out in plain sight, and no one will know how you use them. Although this is true, I am more open than that: I like it when people see my paddle in my purse, and then they think about what it's for. That embarrasses Evan, which I enjoy. I am not embarrassed at all by the fact that I spank him.

Please keep the comments coming. New readers: please leave a comment or drop me an email. I write this blog in order to feel connected to a community. So please be a part of this community. And thanks to all of you who have written to me.

I will write more soon. I will leave you with a few additional stills from a second otk spanking that we filmed. The first picture shows Evan over my lap about to receive the first spank. I like his toes to be pointed away, so that the top of his feet are relaxed on the floor when we start. This way his legs are relaxed and his bottom is not clenched when I smack it. I prefer the sound and feel of a good spank on his relaxed bottom: the sound is not as satisfying (more of a thud, perhaps not as loud?) when he is clenching his muscles. I have him keep the position with his toes pointed away as well as he can throughout the spanking. If he moves away from it, then we start over (and over), until he can maintain it for a long-ish continuous spanking (of 40 or 50 hard spanks).

The second picture is just the third spank in this spanking, and already he has broken his position. This just means a longer spanking for him.

And on the fifth and sixth spanks, he just squirms more. He complains that I spank very hard, but of course that's the point. His bottom was bright red at the end of this one. I will show you evidence of that later.

Implements

2010-01-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

People who are into spanking seem to have many implements in their collections. My husband Evan has given me several implements over the years. My favorites are two heavy hardwood hand-size paddles, about 1/2" thick each. These paddles are beautiful pieces of hardwood, each cut into a lovely shape, with handles that are very comfortable to hold. I like them because they are pretty and easy to use. I can swing hard and hit exactly where I am aiming with these extremely easily. One of them fits snugly in my purse, and I carry it with me at all times. I have used this paddle on Evan in unusual locations at unusual times, but not too often. The fact that he knows that I have it with me keeps him well-behaved. I have also brought it out at parties a couple of times, showing it to some mutual friends. I also told them what it was for. I am pretty sure that they believed me: I have a reputation for being very open about sexual matters, and everyone knows that I am the boss of Evan. I think it embarrassed Evan when I brought out the paddle in front of others, but he laughed it off, and pretended that it was just good fun on my part. That's ok with me. I let him do this if he is very embarrassed. But I will keep bringing it out. I like to keep him nervous: I enjoy embarrassing him. (And I know that deep down, he likes it too, even if it twists his stomach into knots at the time.)

(FYI, Evan got the paddles for me from http://www.spanking-paddles.com/ . They are not cheap (around $30 each) but they have been worth it for me: much sturdier than even a nice wooden hairbrush, and the wood is gorgeous. I have never met the people at that website and I get no cut from them: this is just a genuine endorsement.)

Evan gave me both of these paddles about two or three years ago. I have a pretty good idea why I never got any more: these are more than adequate to do the job. (The time that I received these paddles was about the time that I started spanking more regularly.) I also have a lexan paddle, which is 3/8" thick, with holes in it. This is also easy to use (and similarly hard on Evan's behind), but it's not as pretty as my wooden paddles. And I have a paddle that Evan got from the Disciplinary Wives Club (http://disciplinarywivesclub.com/) many years ago, which is a little bit bigger than the others, and has holes in it. This is like the lexan paddle: it's easy to use, but not as pretty as my two favorite paddles.

I also have some canes that Evan got me several years ago, and a couple of heavy straps. I really like the straps: they are beautiful leather. One has three tails, and the other has two. They are heavy: every stroke from these makes an obvious impact on Evan, because he yells loudly immediately after impact (which is satisfying to me). And they are relatively easy to use, too: I can aim fairly easily, and hit whichever spot I want (I have to cover both cheeks evenly, as I am sure you know).

I know many people out there are fascinated by canes, in part because of the long history of caning as punishment in school in England. Evan read a lot of English school stories, with lots of caning and birching for naughty boys and girls. I have heard some of these stories, and I appreciate the history, but I find the cane much harder to use than the other implements that I own. Maybe I don't have a quality cane: the ones I have are quite thin and whippy. I have two problems with using the cane: (1) I can't aim as well as I can with the other implements, and so sometimes I hit too low or too high; and (2) because I can't aim as well, I don't swing as hard as when I use other implements, and the effect is not as strong (I can tell because Evan doesn't cry out as much). So I don't generally use the cane very much, at least not yet. Some day, I will learn to wield one better than I do. I am sure someone will teach me to be better at it. I will happily take lessons with Evan's bottom as our target. Any takers? (Please don't volunteer your own bottom: I know lots of men want this, but that's not what I need. I already have a target.)

Another reason I prefer my paddles to other implements is that I like the over-the-knee position the best. It's a very intimate position, where I can lovingly hold Evan as I am spanking him. I very much like the close physical contact, even though his wiggling around sometimes hurts my legs. The strap and cane are not so easy to use otk. I know that there are otk canes, but the one I used was too light. My paddles make more of an impact, and leave lovely red marks.

I will close today with the last couple of stills from the first spanking video that I have posted. In the last still, I am giving Evan a friendly squeeze after he has got off my lap. I gave him a proper hug after that.

As a teaser for later, here is one picture from just prior to another spanking that Evan received. As you can see, Evan was semi-erect before that spanking started. I like to keep him in a state of sexual denial well before and after a spanking, so he is often hard before we start. I like to then spank the erection out of him: that is somehow very satisfying. I will post more stills from that spanking later.

Finally, I see that you seem to like the photos of me. Thanks for all the kind words. I will get Evan to take more photos of me holding my paddles, and then I will post those later.

Keep the comments coming! As always, I appreciate everything you say, even if it's just to say hello, and that you read the blog. It inspires me to write more when I read the comments that people leave and the emails that people send.

Jan 23: Response to comments:
Thanks to you all for all the comments. I appreciate them, as always.

Parivash: Sorry, but I am not putting up video clips. I am not a video editor, and I don't want to include the sound, because there are too many identifying cues in our voices. It's too bad, because the sound is perhaps the best part, as far as I am concerned. Evan really yells at times when I am letting him have it. He is not a quiet one.

Jayne's Master: To become a follower, I think you just need a google account. Let me know your blog, and I may follow that one too. Good luck with it!

wailer: I am glad you like that Evan is wearing his socks. This is just how it happens for over-the-knee spankings for us. I like the pants completely off, because I like to see his legs. But there is no reason to take off his socks: he's going back to work soon after I get done with him. (As I said earlier, my spankings are not prelude to sex for us, even though they are exciting for both of us.)

beejay: I have not used a slipper on Evan. My slippers wouldn't bother him at all. I need a good hard paddle to make an impression (and it's easy with my paddles).

Anonymous 1: Thanks for the kind compliments. I will post more photos of myself in the future.

Anonymous 2 (wdspoone): Good luck with your DD relationship. If your partner needs a female friend for advice, send her to me.

Anonymous 3 (michael_michael): Thank you for your support.

Anonymous 4 (jm): Thanks to you too.

Anonymous 5 (Sue): Thanks, Sue. I am glad to see that there are at least a few women reading this. I would be delighted to hear from more.

spanked husband: It's always a pleasure to hear from you. Yes, I may give caning some more work in the future. But frankly, I like the way that I do things now just fine. I have my own way, which is very paddle-oriented. Some day I may change, but for now, I like paddling.

Anonymous 6 (Ardor): Welcome. I am glad to have you join me.

Some better shots of me

2010-01-16T12:41:00.001-08:00

I have had some requests for better pictures of me. Here are a couple. I hope you like them.

Spanking for punishment, not sex

2010-01-16T09:54:00.001-08:00

Wow, blogging takes a lot of time. I don't have time to write a full entry today, so I will just write briefly on one topic.

A reader (redtail) asked if I sometimes spanked Evan sensually, possibly only with my hand, as a prelude to sexual activity. The answer is no, on both parts of the question. First, I never spank Evan sensually, and never with just my hand. I spank hard, so that it hurts him, right from the first spank. Spanking is something that I want him to be frightened of (even if there are strong sexual overtones), so I don't make it light, ever. I know that it excites Evan having it this way: to love the idea of a spanking, but hate to actually get one. I love the torment that this causes him.

Second, we rarely have sex after a spanking. I spank him, usually in the afternoon or early evening, and then we go back to our regular life. We normally have sexual activity in the evening, before bed. More about that some other time.

Here are a few more stills from the spanking from the previous blog entries. Eventually I will show some different events. But for now, here's more from that one.

Deirdre

New pictures, January 16

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Dierdre & Evan: Our Story

2010-01-13T22:42:00.000-08:00

First, let me thank you for reading my blog. There have been lots of visitors (many more than I had expected!) and many comments, and a few emails. I really appreciate the comments and emails, so keep them coming. I will try to respond to those which ask for information from me and Evan. If it's about our life together, I may ask you to wait for the blog entry that talks about a related topic. So please be patient.

But I am always open to ideas regarding topics to write about. I may not use them right away, but I will keep them in mind for the future. For the first few posts, I plan to tell you about me and Evan, how we met, what we like, and some of what we do.

Evan and I met at work a few years ago. I was immediately attracted to him, and he was also very attracted to me. But we were both in other relationships, so we didn't act upon our mutual interest, other than flirting with each other occasionally. Over the years, we eventually split up with our previous partners, and so we decided to give a relationship together a try. Right from the beginning, Evan told me that he was interested in having a dominance / submission relationship. He thought that this might scare me away, but it certainly did not. I found this idea of his intriguing and exciting. Before I met Evan, I didn't know that this was a possible full-time lifestyle; I had only been familiar with spanking as part of sex play.

Evan was very explicit from early on that he would like to be the submissive in such a relationship. He was mostly focused on spanking back then. He had a fantasy of having a dominant wife that would spank him for transgressions. But this was just part of his ideal relationship: he wanted to serve his wife in any way that she chose. He hoped that I might like to take on this role. I was excited to try this out, but I didn't know if it would be for me. I thought that I would probably prefer more of an equal-partner type of relationship, where we each take turns being in charge of the other for an evening or two at a time. I had always been in relationships where my partners were somewhat demanding and dominant, so that it was difficult to imagine what it would be like to always be in charge. So over the first few months together, we tried switching back and forth.

We started with some spanking every couple of weeks. I found that I really liked spanking Evan, but I didn't like getting spanked at all. I didn't enjoy the feeling of being dominated or the pain associated with being spanked. So we moved pretty quickly to a female-dominant style of relationship. Being in charge was exhilarating. I have always been a very bossy person: I like things my way. Being the dominant in the relationship with Evan was and is wonderful. He will do exactly as I wish, mostly without questions (more on his occasional recalcitrance in a later post). He does all the cooking, cleaning, looking after the house and finances, and so I am able to do things that are more rewarding for me.

I don't fully understand why Evan has always been so interested in spanking, but I see that he is not alone. There are many people out there with a similar fascination (and now I am one too). According to Evan, he has always been tremendously excited by the possibility of being completely out of control, with a dominant woman taking advantage of him by spanking him soundly, taking him beyond his limits. He had pretty standard nurse / teacher / baby-sitter fantasies growing up: anything with a plausible female authority figure in charge of him, spanking him for some wrong-doing. A possible partial explanation for his strong interest in spanking is that he was spanked as a child by his mother. Whatever the cause, I have been happy to become his dominant mistress. We both like the fact that the spanking is real in our relationship. I am an authority figure for Evan. We love each other very much, and this dominant / submissive dynamic works for us.

When I spank him, I am very serious about it. I never use my bare hand: I am not strong enough to hurt him that way. (I am only 5'6" and he is a big and muscular 6'2".) I use a wooden paddle or other heavy implement, and I strike hard from the first stroke. I want him to feel it immediately, and I want him to be remember that it was him who asked for this in the first place. A typical over-the-knee spanking lasts about 5-10 minutes for us. It's not continuous, however. I will spank hard and fast, and he will lose control and squirm vigorously pretty quickly, after about 10-20 spanks. Then he calms down a bit, and we repeat this over and over until he can take a longer continuous spanking, of a minute or so straight. He is calm and very submissive by the end. I scold him throughout the spanking, but very calmly, in a soothing way. As I mentioned earlier, he still loves the idea of spanking, but he now dreads getting spanked. Myself, I would like to spank him more often than I do, but it is sometimes difficult to schedule. I spank him about once a month at the moment. I am increasing the frequency to once a week with the posting of this blog. I plan to give him his first weekly spanking on Friday.

I know that men typically like pictures, so I will post more pictures from the spanking shown in the photos in the previous blog post. I have a lot of stills from that video (and many others as well). I will post a few picture every few days, so that you have some visual material to look forward to. Then I will move on to some other event that we have recorded. These first six photos are from the very beginning of that spanking, form Evan removing his pants (look: he has a partially erect penis: very nice) to laying over my lap, to getting the first few hard strokes.

Remember to leave me a comment to let me know that you are reading.

D.

getting started 2

2010-01-09T05:06:00.001-08:00

I haven't got around to posting more recently, but I will do so very soon. In the meantime, here are a couple of stills from a video of mine, where I gave Evan a good over the knee spanking. He didn't like this spanking at all. But that made it all the more fun for me.

Lots of visitors already, but still waiting for the first comments / emails...

getting started

2010-01-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

Hi there.

This is my first blog. My name is Deirdre. I am 31 years old. My husband's name is Evan. He is 42. We have been happily married for a few years now, in the Boston (USA) area under a domestic discipline lifestyle. I spank Evan when I feel like it. This is sometimes when he does something that displeases me in some way, but most of the time now it's just because I like to spank him, and exert some control over him. We don't do this all the time. Maybe once every month or couple of weeks. I think I will start doing it more now that I am writing about it.

I will tell you our story soon. Drop me a line if you are reading this. I am curious if anyone could find this blog, because I haven't mentioned it to anyone but Evan yet. Depending on the level of interest, I will post more pictures and lots more description of our life together.