The state of my blog

Hi all:

I often have plans to post to this blog, but then I realize later that I don't really have the time to do it.

So I am going to put the blog on hold again.  Sorry to stop and start so often.  I don't know when (if at all) I will start re-posting.

Good luck to all of you in your relationships.

Deirdre.

Evan answers some comments

Hi all:

Thanks for the comments on Evan's post yesterday.  He sent me answers on a few: he will answer others later.
 Deirdre.


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Wow. Thanks for sharing, and thanks in advance for the answer.

I love the way you both describe her spanking technique. I've been a spanko for some time and it has mostly been the thought of me spanking women that turned me on and the only real spanking experience that I have had. Lately I've been interested in getting spanked for some reason- the thought ofnot being in control is appealing, and to see if I could take what I dish out, plus I think having experienced it will make me a better spanker too- so I'm curious- yall started out spanking each other and it evolved- does Evan still find the thought of him spanking someone appealing?

Next unrelated question- have there ever been any close calls of someone finding out? Saw some bruises, heard something, wondered what that weird piece of furniture with the straps was? Does anyone know?"

Evan:

Question 1. Do I still find the thought of spanking someone else appealing?

This is an interesting question.  Basically no.  I think I am more of a submissive overall than a dominant: I identify with the submissive in stories and movies, and that's the role that excites me the most.  I was able to be a good dominant for Deirdre because I know how I would like to be treated as a submissive.  But because she doesn't want to be spanked, I am happy not ever spanking anyone.  I prefer my role as the spankee than as the spanker (which fits well with her).


If Deirdre ever wanted me to spank someone else in the context of our relationship, I would probably do that in order to please her.  But it's not something that I seek.


Question 2: have there ever been any close calls of someone finding out?


I guess the first few sets of bruises that I got from being spanked -- before I knew Deirdre, mostly -- would have been somewhat shocking, because they were so extensive.  But it's been a long time since I have had extensive bruising.  As others must have discovered, I don't bruise nearly as much as I used to.  My skin toughens up very early in a spanking, and it is hard to bruise me (even though I think it hurts the same).  So people mostly wouldn't be able to notice bruising of mine.  Maybe if Deirdre went after my thighs again (as she has on a few occasions), I might get very bruised again.  But she mostly spanks areas that have been spanked extensively before, so there is nothing much to see a day later.


In any case, several people have found out, mostly because Deirdre has a paddle with her most of the time (in her purse), and she pulls it out occasionally.  She showed a couple of men at a party once (right in front of me), and told them that this was her spanking paddle.  One of the men asked me if I was submissive, and I said something non-committal, and changed the topic.  I guess I find these situations embarrassing, but Deirdre enjoys them.  I have convinced her, however, not to do this too much, because it could potentially damage our careers.  I think mostly people don't care, or they find it amusing, but I don't want to force knowledge of our lifestyle on anyone.

One general occasion where Deirdre loves to flaunt her dominance over me is going through airport security.  She loves it when security people ask her what the paddle is for: she always tells them that it's a paddle for spanking her husband.  They typically are somewhat surprised by this answer, but they don't seem to care one way or the other.  (I imagine that they see a lot of unusual occurrences.)  Deirdre likes these situations so she can embarrass me a little, if she can.


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Great to see you back and thankyou for sharing your spanking activities. Too much to hope for I suppose that we will ever get to see Deirdre's face ??!
You make reference in this post to a video earlier on in your blog, but I can't find it or remember seeing it - is it there somewhere?
Thanks again.
Matt (UK)"

Hi Matt:

Sorry for the confusion.  I don't think Deirdre posted the video: she posted some stills from the same video that I posted from.





No, she isn't going to show her face, and neither am I.  Deirdre is very beautiful, but she needs her privacy.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Don't want to speak for them but willing to bet that they're not going to be showing faces anytime soon, and certainly don't blame them!
That having been said, I agree that they're a very attractive couple. Curious if you ever give him a spanking topless? Would love to see that. Don't think of it as being submissive, Diedre-- think of it as presenting more of a challenge in spanking his erection away! (Plus I think it would be lovely to see stills from that video with your breasts wobbling around as you put Evan through his paces.

Thanks toboth of you for sharing, and hope you don't mind my prurient interest in your blog"

Right: no faces in this blog!  But thanks for the compliment, saying we are an attractive couple.  That's very nice!  Deirdre is certainly beautiful.

Has Deirdre given me a spanking topless?  I don't think so.  Whereas that would most definitely make an entertaining sight, it doesn't seem functional in a spanking scenario.  The idea that her being topless might keep me hard longer seems far-fetched.  I don't think you know how much her spankings hurt!  Nothing that I see or think about could keep me hard during her spankings.  But of course, whether she chooses to spank with or without a top is up to her. 

ps. from Deirdre: I am not going to spank Evan topless.  Or at least, if I ever do, we won't film it.  Sorry!

Evan's view from the bottom

Hi all:

I have asked Evan to write about his view of our relationship, and what it's like to be spanked by me.  Depending on the reaction from the blog readers, perhaps this is something I may ask more of him in the future.

D.

Evan:


Hi everyone:


First, my thanks to Deirdre for (a) having me as a partner (you are a wonderful wife in so many ways); and (b) for writing this blog.  It's a great expression of our love.

To start with, as I am sure that Deirdre has said, I want to emphasize that spanking and female-dominant ideas are a small part of our relationship.  We both enjoy this part of our sex life, but it's a small part of our life on the whole.  We enjoy many things in life together: sex and spanking are great, but even if we didn't have spanking, we would be very happy with each other.  Most importantly, we don't judge one another: we accept each other for whatever we are, even as that changes from month to month and from year to year.

I should tell you that the spanking in our relationship was my idea.  Deirdre had never engaged in such activities before meeting me.  I had raised the idea -- of being dominated in a relationship -- to several previous girlfriends, to mixed reactions over the years.  Deirdre's reaction was the most positive reaction that I had ever received.  It was quite surprising to me, actually.  I didn't know if I should believe her, but it turned out that she was indeed telling the truth: she really likes a female dominant lifestyle.  She is naturally a bossy woman.  In fact, so much so, that I sometimes find it hard to submit to her desires, because I am naturally quite dominant too (even though I have strong submissive fantasies, that are sexually exciting for me).  It has been interesting to learn a lot about myself and Deirdre in a relationship where neither of us feels threatened by anything that interests / excites the other.  This way, I have been able to fully explore my submissive side, as much as I like.  It has been very illuminating.  In the end, I am perhaps not as submissive overall as I thought I was when I first got together with Deirdre.  This has been interesting to learn.  Fortunately, Deirdre is a wonderful partner, so she doesn't judge me no matter who I end up being.  (And the same goes for me, from me to her.)


Regarding our spanking experiences, I wanted to try a life in which Deirdre spanked me at will, and hard, so that it was beyond what I would put up with.  I guess I was looking for a dynamic like what I had read about in stories and books, or seen in videos, where a submissive is spanked to tears, is somewhat humiliated in some way, and does what his/her dominant wants.  I should confess that I was spanked as a child, by my mother (using a wooden spoon on my bare bottom), and in some sense I suppose I was trying to relive those feelings of loss of control, which were always exciting to me, as far back as I can remember.

Deirdre and I tried spanking over her knee, and in various other positions, with a lot of success.  She enjoyed the dominant role, and she had no difficulty ignoring my pleas, spanking me well past what I seemed to want at the time.  Although these sessions were highly satisfying to me, I am much stronger and bigger than Deirdre, so I could always interrupt a session if I felt that it was too much.  And I did so, often.  For example we can easily see this behavior in a video that Deirdre posted very early on in the blog.  Here are some stills from times during that spanking (a) where I reached around and stopped the spanking (because it was too much for me at the time); and (b) where I simply slid down off Deirdre's lap to get away from the blows.

These spankings were intense and rewarding, but I thought that we could even further toward my goal of handing her complete control if I was restrained in some way, so that I couldn't have any say on when Deirdre spanked.  That's when we bought the spanking bench.  The spankings when I am secured over the bench are intense, to say the least.  Once I am secure on the bench, there is no going back.  I can't untie myself: I need Deirdre to do that.  So I am at her mercy once I am tied down.  It's a scary feeling at this point: that gives me butterflies for sure.  Then it gets much worse when the spanking starts.  Deirdre seems to enjoy the first few minutes the most, when it hurts the most, and I am most vocal.  A few hard smacks is all that I can ever take initially, and I ask for her to tone it down or give me a rest (in spite of not wanting to make such concessions before I get on the bench).  Deirdre ignores these requests, and strikes hard and fast, going through with whatever she promised before we started (e.g., 1-2 minutes of spanking with that implement).  It is extremely intense: quite an experience.


Somehow I always manage to get myself on the bench for another session later, so I must enjoy these sessions at a deep level.  On the surface, they are pretty hard to take.


Do people have questions that they want to ask me about this kind of experience or others?


Thanks for reading.

more nice comments

Otto149 writes:

"This site is unbelievably hot!"

Thanks, Otto!  I am glad that you appreciate my spanking style.

SometimesSpanked writes:

"Thanks for all your posts!
Seems there a little "wriggling" here by Evan nonetheless....
May I ask, about how many spanks per minute do you do with a couple of your fav instruments? Thx!"

Yes, Evan wriggles as much as he can to get away from the blows when on the bench.  It doesn't make any difference however: he can't get very far.

Regarding spanking rates, with an instrument like the lexan paddle, or my purse paddle (hairbrush-sized) I vary from around 1 per second to 2 per second (60-120 / minute).  Sometimes I have played a game with Evan where I see how many times I can strike him in a 1, 2 or 3 minute period.  (I don't tell Evan that I am playing this game, however.)  I can get 2-3 / second for a long while when I really go fast.

When I am using a paddle like the big one in the post a few days ago, then I can only do around 10-30 / minute (assuming that I am striking hard).  The same is true for a cane or a strap: I need to slow down in order to get the aim and intensity right.

I think Evan finds the strap the worst of all of these, because it wraps around his things so often.


tommyspt writes:


"i am just glad to see you back. yours is one of my favorite blogs. i have sometimes gone for a while without posting also. sometimes i get writers cramp, when that happens i post drawings with my flickr comments. missed you."

Thanks, Tommy.  I am glad that you like my blog.  I like yours very much too.  Evan especially likes it: he loves your fantasy stories and pictures.  If you ever need ideas of something to draw or write about, feel free to think of me and Evan.  I'd love to see your rendering.

Finally, an anonymous commenter writes:

"Dear D,
I'm really sorry for you husband and his sore bottom, but I guess he deserves this hard spanking. But you're are a too stern with him. The bench is horrible, and you seem have a lot pleasure when you beat him on it. The Lexan paddle is like a torture implement. A light strap will be perhaps more convenient when his fault is not really a crime...
Best regards "

You really need not be sorry for Evan.  He might not enjoy his time on the bench when it's happening, but Evan appreciates it later.  You yourself might not want or need such an intense session.  But Evan enjoys it (in a matter of speaking).

femdom couple from india writes:

"i gather from the pic that he is strapped and unable to move. i would love that. lucky guy."

Yes, we have a spanking bench which I tie Evan to.  When he is secured to the bench, he cannot at all, except to squirm a little from side to side, and from up and back.  We like the bench very much: I have written about it at length in earlier posts.

Best wishes to all,

D.

lexan paddle

Here are some stills from the same spanking session, where I used a lexan paddle.  I don't think Evan has a preference among most of my paddles / tawses / canes.  He usually gets a fixed amount of time, so although the blows with the bigger paddle hurt more (I gather), there are fewer of them.  The lexan paddle is light and very easy to handle, so I can get in a lot of smacks in each minute.  Here are just a few.

I am off for the weekend.  I hope to be back blogging about less superficial issues next week.