Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Evan squirming during a spanking, displaying his erection

Hi all:

Evan will answer some more comments soon.  In the meantime, here is a sequence of video stills close in time to perhaps the most downloaded picture on my blog: a sequence where Evan is spanked over my lap, and he squirms up, showing the world his partially erection.  I like this sequence a lot, and I guess many of you do too.  His penis and balls look so attractive like this!

In these pictures, you can see that I spank him while he is squirming, but this doesn't deter him, and he turns almost right over.  As you can see, he is very large, so this actually hurts me a little when he does this, although I find it funny at the time.  (If you could see my face, you would see that I am laughing as he squirms up towards me.)  You can also see him yelling in pain from some hard spanks.

Towards the end, you can see me pushing his legs back down, so we can start again.  But after he does this a few times, I would much rather use the bench, so that I can spank as I please without him rolling around on top of me.


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Evan answers some comments

Hi all:

Thanks for the comments on Evan's post yesterday.  He sent me answers on a few: he will answer others later.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Wow. Thanks for sharing, and thanks in advance for the answer.

I love the way you both describe her spanking technique. I've been a spanko for some time and it has mostly been the thought of me spanking women that turned me on and the only real spanking experience that I have had. Lately I've been interested in getting spanked for some reason- the thought ofnot being in control is appealing, and to see if I could take what I dish out, plus I think having experienced it will make me a better spanker too- so I'm curious- yall started out spanking each other and it evolved- does Evan still find the thought of him spanking someone appealing?

Next unrelated question- have there ever been any close calls of someone finding out? Saw some bruises, heard something, wondered what that weird piece of furniture with the straps was? Does anyone know?"


Question 1. Do I still find the thought of spanking someone else appealing?

This is an interesting question.  Basically no.  I think I am more of a submissive overall than a dominant: I identify with the submissive in stories and movies, and that's the role that excites me the most.  I was able to be a good dominant for Deirdre because I know how I would like to be treated as a submissive.  But because she doesn't want to be spanked, I am happy not ever spanking anyone.  I prefer my role as the spankee than as the spanker (which fits well with her).

If Deirdre ever wanted me to spank someone else in the context of our relationship, I would probably do that in order to please her.  But it's not something that I seek.

Question 2: have there ever been any close calls of someone finding out?

I guess the first few sets of bruises that I got from being spanked -- before I knew Deirdre, mostly -- would have been somewhat shocking, because they were so extensive.  But it's been a long time since I have had extensive bruising.  As others must have discovered, I don't bruise nearly as much as I used to.  My skin toughens up very early in a spanking, and it is hard to bruise me (even though I think it hurts the same).  So people mostly wouldn't be able to notice bruising of mine.  Maybe if Deirdre went after my thighs again (as she has on a few occasions), I might get very bruised again.  But she mostly spanks areas that have been spanked extensively before, so there is nothing much to see a day later.

In any case, several people have found out, mostly because Deirdre has a paddle with her most of the time (in her purse), and she pulls it out occasionally.  She showed a couple of men at a party once (right in front of me), and told them that this was her spanking paddle.  One of the men asked me if I was submissive, and I said something non-committal, and changed the topic.  I guess I find these situations embarrassing, but Deirdre enjoys them.  I have convinced her, however, not to do this too much, because it could potentially damage our careers.  I think mostly people don't care, or they find it amusing, but I don't want to force knowledge of our lifestyle on anyone.

One general occasion where Deirdre loves to flaunt her dominance over me is going through airport security.  She loves it when security people ask her what the paddle is for: she always tells them that it's a paddle for spanking her husband.  They typically are somewhat surprised by this answer, but they don't seem to care one way or the other.  (I imagine that they see a lot of unusual occurrences.)  Deirdre likes these situations so she can embarrass me a little, if she can.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":

"Great to see you back and thankyou for sharing your spanking activities. Too much to hope for I suppose that we will ever get to see Deirdre's face ??!
You make reference in this post to a video earlier on in your blog, but I can't find it or remember seeing it - is it there somewhere?
Thanks again.
Matt (UK)"

Hi Matt:

Sorry for the confusion.  I don't think Deirdre posted the video: she posted some stills from the same video that I posted from.

No, she isn't going to show her face, and neither am I.  Deirdre is very beautiful, but she needs her privacy.

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Evan's view from the bottom":
"Don't want to speak for them but willing to bet that they're not going to be showing faces anytime soon, and certainly don't blame them!
That having been said, I agree that they're a very attractive couple. Curious if you ever give him a spanking topless? Would love to see that. Don't think of it as being submissive, Diedre-- think of it as presenting more of a challenge in spanking his erection away! (Plus I think it would be lovely to see stills from that video with your breasts wobbling around as you put Evan through his paces.

Thanks toboth of you for sharing, and hope you don't mind my prurient interest in your blog"

Right: no faces in this blog!  But thanks for the compliment, saying we are an attractive couple.  That's very nice!  Deirdre is certainly beautiful.

Has Deirdre given me a spanking topless?  I don't think so.  Whereas that would most definitely make an entertaining sight, it doesn't seem functional in a spanking scenario.  The idea that her being topless might keep me hard longer seems far-fetched.  I don't think you know how much her spankings hurt!  Nothing that I see or think about could keep me hard during her spankings.  But of course, whether she chooses to spank with or without a top is up to her. 

ps. from Deirdre: I am not going to spank Evan topless.  Or at least, if I ever do, we won't film it.  Sorry!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Evan's view from the bottom

Hi all:

I have asked Evan to write about his view of our relationship, and what it's like to be spanked by me.  Depending on the reaction from the blog readers, perhaps this is something I may ask more of him in the future.



Hi everyone:

First, my thanks to Deirdre for (a) having me as a partner (you are a wonderful wife in so many ways); and (b) for writing this blog.  It's a great expression of our love.

To start with, as I am sure that Deirdre has said, I want to emphasize that spanking and female-dominant ideas are a small part of our relationship.  We both enjoy this part of our sex life, but it's a small part of our life on the whole.  We enjoy many things in life together: sex and spanking are great, but even if we didn't have spanking, we would be very happy with each other.  Most importantly, we don't judge one another: we accept each other for whatever we are, even as that changes from month to month and from year to year.

I should tell you that the spanking in our relationship was my idea.  Deirdre had never engaged in such activities before meeting me.  I had raised the idea -- of being dominated in a relationship -- to several previous girlfriends, to mixed reactions over the years.  Deirdre's reaction was the most positive reaction that I had ever received.  It was quite surprising to me, actually.  I didn't know if I should believe her, but it turned out that she was indeed telling the truth: she really likes a female dominant lifestyle.  She is naturally a bossy woman.  In fact, so much so, that I sometimes find it hard to submit to her desires, because I am naturally quite dominant too (even though I have strong submissive fantasies, that are sexually exciting for me).  It has been interesting to learn a lot about myself and Deirdre in a relationship where neither of us feels threatened by anything that interests / excites the other.  This way, I have been able to fully explore my submissive side, as much as I like.  It has been very illuminating.  In the end, I am perhaps not as submissive overall as I thought I was when I first got together with Deirdre.  This has been interesting to learn.  Fortunately, Deirdre is a wonderful partner, so she doesn't judge me no matter who I end up being.  (And the same goes for me, from me to her.)

Regarding our spanking experiences, I wanted to try a life in which Deirdre spanked me at will, and hard, so that it was beyond what I would put up with.  I guess I was looking for a dynamic like what I had read about in stories and books, or seen in videos, where a submissive is spanked to tears, is somewhat humiliated in some way, and does what his/her dominant wants.  I should confess that I was spanked as a child, by my mother (using a wooden spoon on my bare bottom), and in some sense I suppose I was trying to relive those feelings of loss of control, which were always exciting to me, as far back as I can remember.

Deirdre and I tried spanking over her knee, and in various other positions, with a lot of success.  She enjoyed the dominant role, and she had no difficulty ignoring my pleas, spanking me well past what I seemed to want at the time.  Although these sessions were highly satisfying to me, I am much stronger and bigger than Deirdre, so I could always interrupt a session if I felt that it was too much.  And I did so, often.  For example we can easily see this behavior in a video that Deirdre posted very early on in the blog.  Here are some stills from times during that spanking (a) where I reached around and stopped the spanking (because it was too much for me at the time); and (b) where I simply slid down off Deirdre's lap to get away from the blows.

These spankings were intense and rewarding, but I thought that we could even further toward my goal of handing her complete control if I was restrained in some way, so that I couldn't have any say on when Deirdre spanked.  That's when we bought the spanking bench.  The spankings when I am secured over the bench are intense, to say the least.  Once I am secure on the bench, there is no going back.  I can't untie myself: I need Deirdre to do that.  So I am at her mercy once I am tied down.  It's a scary feeling at this point: that gives me butterflies for sure.  Then it gets much worse when the spanking starts.  Deirdre seems to enjoy the first few minutes the most, when it hurts the most, and I am most vocal.  A few hard smacks is all that I can ever take initially, and I ask for her to tone it down or give me a rest (in spite of not wanting to make such concessions before I get on the bench).  Deirdre ignores these requests, and strikes hard and fast, going through with whatever she promised before we started (e.g., 1-2 minutes of spanking with that implement).  It is extremely intense: quite an experience.

Somehow I always manage to get myself on the bench for another session later, so I must enjoy these sessions at a deep level.  On the surface, they are pretty hard to take.

Do people have questions that they want to ask me about this kind of experience or others?

Thanks for reading.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

more nice comments

Otto149 writes:

"This site is unbelievably hot!"

Thanks, Otto!  I am glad that you appreciate my spanking style.

SometimesSpanked writes:

"Thanks for all your posts!
Seems there a little "wriggling" here by Evan nonetheless....
May I ask, about how many spanks per minute do you do with a couple of your fav instruments? Thx!"

Yes, Evan wriggles as much as he can to get away from the blows when on the bench.  It doesn't make any difference however: he can't get very far.

Regarding spanking rates, with an instrument like the lexan paddle, or my purse paddle (hairbrush-sized) I vary from around 1 per second to 2 per second (60-120 / minute).  Sometimes I have played a game with Evan where I see how many times I can strike him in a 1, 2 or 3 minute period.  (I don't tell Evan that I am playing this game, however.)  I can get 2-3 / second for a long while when I really go fast.

When I am using a paddle like the big one in the post a few days ago, then I can only do around 10-30 / minute (assuming that I am striking hard).  The same is true for a cane or a strap: I need to slow down in order to get the aim and intensity right.

I think Evan finds the strap the worst of all of these, because it wraps around his things so often.

tommyspt writes:

"i am just glad to see you back. yours is one of my favorite blogs. i have sometimes gone for a while without posting also. sometimes i get writers cramp, when that happens i post drawings with my flickr comments. missed you."

Thanks, Tommy.  I am glad that you like my blog.  I like yours very much too.  Evan especially likes it: he loves your fantasy stories and pictures.  If you ever need ideas of something to draw or write about, feel free to think of me and Evan.  I'd love to see your rendering.

Finally, an anonymous commenter writes:

"Dear D,
I'm really sorry for you husband and his sore bottom, but I guess he deserves this hard spanking. But you're are a too stern with him. The bench is horrible, and you seem have a lot pleasure when you beat him on it. The Lexan paddle is like a torture implement. A light strap will be perhaps more convenient when his fault is not really a crime...
Best regards "

You really need not be sorry for Evan.  He might not enjoy his time on the bench when it's happening, but Evan appreciates it later.  You yourself might not want or need such an intense session.  But Evan enjoys it (in a matter of speaking).

femdom couple from india writes:

"i gather from the pic that he is strapped and unable to move. i would love that. lucky guy."

Yes, we have a spanking bench which I tie Evan to.  When he is secured to the bench, he cannot at all, except to squirm a little from side to side, and from up and back.  We like the bench very much: I have written about it at length in earlier posts.

Best wishes to all,


Thursday, September 22, 2011

lexan paddle

Here are some stills from the same spanking session, where I used a lexan paddle.  I don't think Evan has a preference among most of my paddles / tawses / canes.  He usually gets a fixed amount of time, so although the blows with the bigger paddle hurt more (I gather), there are fewer of them.  The lexan paddle is light and very easy to handle, so I can get in a lot of smacks in each minute.  Here are just a few.

I am off for the weekend.  I hope to be back blogging about less superficial issues next week.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

paddling: qs and comments

Thanks to all who have commented (i.e., Andrea nj (sorry, I somehow seem to have lost your comment), hanks Sara, dd4life, mysster, Curious George, Parivash, Michael, RedRump).  I am very pleased that you like to read my blog: it's rewarding to hear that it's appreciated.

An anonymous commenter says the following:
"That's hot, restrained over a bench, that paddle must have him making lots of noise, leaves that ass sore and red. Guys will be good if they get that often by their wives and girl friends.  Get over the bench and see how tough you guys are -- oh you won't be.  That's what i get.  Yes, it's also good for your sex life . Once on the bench, she rules. If she milks you first, then spanks you, you will scream from the first stroke. Try it guys."

First of all, yes, Evan makes a lot of noise when he gets spanked while secured to our bench.  I gather that it is exciting for him to lose control like this, but once he is there, the pain of a hard spanking is hard for him to take.  He says that the hardest part is the first couple of minutes.  He can cope with a few hard spanks, but after about 10-20, it would be too much for him to take if he weren't strapped down and unable to escape.  He almost always starts pleading with me after 10-20 smacks (that it's too much for him to take etc.), but I rarely stop.  He forgets that he has already assured me earlier that I should ignore his pleas and spank as hard as I like.  So that's what I do.

I have a lot of respect for Evan for doing this: he has a much higher pain tolerance than I have.  I would never agree to being spanked like this, strapped down as he is.  But I am happy to take the dominant role: it's much more suited to me than the submissive role.

The commenter also mentions that a spanking will hurt more if the man is milked first.  I think that there are multiple senses of "milking" that people use in a context like this.   From the context, I think that the commenter is talking about the ejaculation sense of milking, such that the man has a sexual release, and then the spanking hurts much more.  I have still never done this with Evan.  I like him pent up, so I leave him without release when we are engaging in spanking activities regularly.

I will eventually have more to say about prostate milking.  We don't do this very often, but I find it a lot of fun when we do.  Evan says that prostate milking does not actually remove the sexual tension: it just releases semen from what feels like an overflow area (which can still be a substantial quantity).  I am not sure if this is medically correct, but that's how he describes it.

In another comment, RedRump asks the following: "I'm curious about the watch in your hand - did you tell Evan he had to take if for a certain amount of time? Or maybe you were seeing how many you could give him in a certain amount of time? Inquiring minds want to know..."

I often spank Evan for a fixed amount of time, usually in one minute increments (e.g., usually sets of 1, 2, or 3 minutes, for a total of 5-15 minutes).  If it's only 1-2 minutes, I sometimes see how many I can do.  Evan says that he sometimes completely loses control in these situations.

Here is a sequence of photos showing an impact followed by how Evan's bottom reacts to a hard smack from a heavy paddle.  Pretty cool, huh?  (I would never volunteer for this!)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

two more of Evan receiving a hard paddling

By the quantity of downloads, people seemed to like the hard paddling picture that I posted yesterday.

Here are a couple of additional pictures, just to show you that I spanked both sides of Evan's bottom (not that there was really any doubt).  This was a reward spanking for Evan: sometimes we both enjoy a hard spanking, and that's what this was.  It's always best for me when he is tied down, so I can spank as hard as I like without any interference from him.  It takes a lot of guts on his part to submit to this, but we both love it, so it's worth it in the end for him.

By this point in the spanking, you can see that his penis has shrunk as small as it gets.  That lets me know that I am doing my part!

Monday, September 19, 2011

new header picture

This is just a test of a new layout.

Here is an impact photo of Evan receiving a hard paddle smack (which I think he noticed).

updating my blog list: some comments on other blogs

First thanks for all the well wishes in the comments and emails.  I really appreciate your responses.  Those responses are what keep me posting at all (as rarely as that has been lately: sorry).

It's been a long time since I updated my blog list.  I have been reading several new blogs over the past year (and so has Evan) but I have neglected to update my blog list.  Anyway, better late than never!

1. I have meant to add All Mine ( for a while, but I have never got around to it.  Suzanne's lifestyle is somewhat different from ours, but not so much, in the big picture.  Suzanne keeps her husband as a cuckold, and she has a lover who has a larger penis and is a better lover (which she refers to as a Trophy Cock (TC)).  All three people seem to love the lifestyle that they live.  From the way that it is presented, it seems perhaps surprisingly healthy.  I say "surprisingly" because I am not familiar with close-knit multiple partner relationships (although I have nothing against them in principle).  Personally, I don't think I will ever "cuckold" Evan.  He might find it somewhat exciting in fantasy (I am not sure about this), but it doesn't do anything for me.  For one thing, I have never complained about Evan's penis or his loving style: both are the best that I have ever experienced.  (Maybe that's just because I love him so much.)  In any case, it's very satisfying for me.

2. MsMarie ( has a great blog that I am sure many of you know.  The focus here is on dominating / loving her husband.  She has a dungeon where she looks after him.  This blog is well written, and appears to be based on a deep relationship between Marie and her husband.  There are some lovely photos documenting their fun.  I identify a lot with what Marie writes, even though I don't often use the same methods (as you know, I focus more on spanking).  But I think it's possible that I could adapt to some of her techniques over time.

3. A spanking Marriage (
Here, Susan tells of her life with Barry, how she spanks him for his misbehavior.  In her latest installment, she asks about prostate milking.  We have a lot of experience with this topic.  We tried it several times years ago, with no success.  It was hard to do for Evan: there are probably large individual differences across people for how easy / hard prostate milking may be to accomplish.
Then we finally succeeded, a few years ago.  And now I know how to do it successfully every time, at least for Evan.  I can tell you about this soon... when I get to it.  (Sorry, I know that I can be somewhat unreliable with respect to posting).  In any case, I just wanted people to know (Susan in particular) that prostate milking is not a myth.  It can be difficult to initiate for the first time, but it is a real possibility.  (Go on xtube, and search for prostate milking to see some examples of prostate milking in action.)  Don't give up: it really does work in the way that others have written about on the internet -- a steady sequence of drops of semen, with no erection necessary -- if one does it right.  For Evan, a successful milking session is based mostly on the time since the last ejaculation.  The longer that it has been, the more successful the milking: the greater volume I can milk from him.

4. Some new artists have recently joined us:

i. RedRump ( draws lovely pictures of women preparing to spank and then spanking men.  I especially like the following picture, from

This is a lot like me and Evan (but I don't think I look so mad when I am spanking: I think I am a bit calmer).  If RedRump ever wants to watch me give Evan a spanking, I would love an artist's rendering of the event!
ii. Banjo's Bare Bottom Spankings ( is another female-spanks-male art blog, adding to RedRump and Tommy's.  He seems to like the same kind of fantasies as Evan:

The picture on the right is the kind of fantasy that excites Evan a great deal: being spanked by the teacher (or other female-in-charge) and then being found out with an erection, and getting more.  Practically speaking, I don't think that this could have ever happened to Evan.  As I have commented earlier, he often starts a spanking with a semi-erection, but as soon as the spanking starts, this erection is quick to dissipate.  After a hard spanking, there is nothing left of his erection.  It's a tiny cute little penis by then!

Ok, that's it for now.  Thanks for being patient with my posting style.  Sorry for the erratic nature of my posting.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

a long hiatus

To everyone out there who has shown an interest in me and Evan:

As you all have noticed, I haven't posted anything in a long time (9 months!).  I apologize for dropping out without any explanation.  Basically, Evan and I toned down our spanking a lot over the last year or more, because of some stresses in our lives.  Please don't worry: we are both fine, and we are doing well as a couple.  But I haven't been spanking him as much as I had been a year ago (and for a few years before that).  As I am sure you all know, life is unpredictable.  Someday I am confident that we will get the spanking bug again, and I will paddle his bottom hard when that time comes.  But until then, I guess we have been on a bit of a spanking hiatus.

It's hard for me to say if this will continue or change.  In case it doesn't change (and I stay off for a while longer), thanks to all of you for reading and commenting.  It is nice to have a community of people who like what we like.  For now, we will be devoting more focus to our vanilla lives (which are going well for both of us).

My best wishes to all,