Thursday, June 17, 2010

answering comments about the bench and the strap

Hi everyone:

Thank you all very much for reading and commenting on my posts. I always read the comments with interest, and I am sorry that I don't respond to all of them right away. I will respond to some of your recent comments here:

Linda asks: "You've mentioned that you have to talk Evan into going on the bench sometimes. However, it looks like he is aroused when he is on it. Does he get aroused before you secure him to it, or is the arrousal a result of your handy-work before the spanking begins?"

Evan is usually not aroused as I am strapping him to the bench. I think the anxiety of getting a hard spanking stops him from being aroused. However, once he is strapped down, I will often play with his penis and balls to get him excited before I start spanking him. That's what happened during the bench spanking that I posted pictures of.

Barb says:
"... your blog and photos make me want to purchase a bench, so I can provide an erotic mix of pleasure and pain to him at my discretion. How much fun it will be to tease his penis and balls, while instructing him that if he climaxes he'll receive a good dose of the lexan (which he hates)."

I have never had Evan climax while he was on the bench. That's something I would like to do eventually. In particular, I would like to try to masturbate him with one hand, and then start to spank him with my hairbrush-sized paddle with the other hand once he starts to climax. I think that a minute of that treatment would be hard for him to take, maybe harder than anything I have done yet. Some day I would like to try this.

Eric says:

"Why don't you just put his junk to the front? When I had to get a switching or a whipping with the belt I had to place my parts on top of the couch and bend over with legs spread so the inside of the thighs was available. Let me tell you, I still remember them well. I would suggest that you have Evan assume a position, like bent over, and then hold still for his whipping, with penalties for not keeping still. I would think that sooner or later he would learn to hold still and take it."

There are two reasons that I don't put Evan's "junk" (as you say) in the front. First, the bench is not really designed to have him lie on top of his "junk". If he does so, his balls still stick out, because the bench spreads his legs well. Second, I like the view of his penis when I am spanking him on the bench. And it gives me an excellent barometer as to his level of sexual excitement. When his penis is fully retracted, I know I am doing a good job of spanking him.

But your suggestion of having Evan hold still for a caning / strapping, with penalties for moving is a good one. We haven't really done that before, but I could see us doing that sometime in the future.

An anonymous commenter says the following:

"And I see that your wearing pearls. Maybe you aren't really trying all that hard? Good to see you here sharing your life with the rest of us. Thank you."

I actually don't know what this commenter is talking about. (The bracelet that I was wearing in the photos is not pearls, by the way.) But why would the jewelry I am wearing have some contingency on whether I am trying? And what is the activity that I am not trying to do? This was a confusing comment. Perhaps it was lost in a translation.

freecroma10 says:

"How he tolerates the beating? Does he keep silent or wailing because of the pain under the strapping? Does he has to count the blows and has to say thanks for them possibility?"

Evan is rarely silent during a spanking / strapping. He tries to be quiet, but he can't help but yell out when it really hurts him. So I use his noise level as a second barometer (in addition to the size of his erection) to tell how hard I should spank. I like it when he is loud: that lets me know that I am doing a good job.

Regarding your second question, I used to have Evan count some strokes, but I rarely do that anymore. I find that if he can count the strokes, then it's usually not hurting enough. I find it more satisfying when he loses control and he has no idea how many strokes have come or are to come yet.

Another anonymous commenter asks the following:
"Question-is he getting spanked for some transgression or just because?"

Mostly just because. We used to do spankings based on transgressions, but I find it's generally better to do it just because I like it, and it's good for him. Some people call these "maintenance spankings". I think that that's what these are for us too, but they are very intense when they are on the bench.

Another anonymous commenter asks the following:

"Who takes the photos?"

As I have mentioned before, the photos are stills from videos that we take by setting up a video player at a fixed distance. We have not had a third party film us yet, although I would like to do this sometime, if we could find a photographer that we liked and trusted.

John R asks:

"Lovely, but can we see more of you, especially how you are dressed? Do you dress specially for Evan's punishments? My wife often puts on a severe outfit, which is appropriate for the occasion."

Most of the time, I don't dress specially to spank Evan. When I want to spank him, it doesn't matter what I am wearing (or what he is wearing, because it's coming off). But once in a while I will wear something extra sexy to seduce him into taking a good spanking.

That's it for now. I will write more in another week or so. I hope your summer is going well, as mine is.

To close, here are a couple of pictures of Evan right before an otk spanking. As you can see he was erect before this one. In this case, I let him touch himself for a minute or so before I pulled him over my knee for his spanking. (He was not permitted to orgasm before or after the spanking that day.)

Talk to you all later,



  1. Another fine post. You're just going to have to spank Evan harde and more often so we have more to read about. He won't mind.

  2. Thank you Deirdre for taking time to post again. It takes a lot of time, and I always look forward to your next posting because you do it so well. There's something almost motherly in the patient and calm way you respond to comments, even to ones that are a little puzzling or critical. But the other thing that makes your blog so attractive is that there's an innocent exploratory tone, humble and willing to accept new ideas, because you're sharing with us transparently, both what you have learned, as well as what you are still learning. Firm, fun, fair, loving, patient, playful, sexy, safe... all the best qualities!

  3. Wonderful photos and writing skills. Keep it up

  4. You mentioned you want to spank Evan after he starts to climax. Here's one suggestion to try for an erotic spanking...

    Start stroking him to get him hard, and around the same time, start spanking him lightly, not to really hurt, but just to enhance the erotic aspect through the helplessness and mild pain. As he gets more aroused, vary the spanking to see the effect it has... spanks spaced further apart in time, or closer together, or rapidly with a light touch, or slow and intensely hard... whatever works him up in conjunction with the hand stroking. As he gets closer to climax, depending on your purposes, you might finish him off the first time, spanking him hard while he experiences climax as you described. Alternatively, as he gets very close, just before climax, cease the hand stroking, and JUST spank him, telling him NOT to orgasm. Then, after his arousal subsides, start the cycle again.... lighter spanks, working him close to the edge, stopping just before. You've mentioned before you like denial play, and I wonder if you would enjoy this? Thanks for your posts and for soliciting comments!

  5. When my lady really wants to punish me she will have me masturbate. Only after I have cum will she use her paddle or belt on my ass. Believe me it becomes very quickly true punishment

  6. Deirdre,

    Good post. I think Evan is hurting a bit as he becomes hard. Plus, if he is yelling as you punish him, part of that might be due to him getting hard and not being able to do anything about it. Do you have any male chastity items for him? Being contained by you can also add to the arousal for both of you.


  7. Awesome, Deirdre, just awesome, you have beautiful legs and lap, no wonder he is hard, he is one very lucky man!!

    Thanks for taking the time to post for us, again, makes this all so good!

    Be well and more otk spankings please.


  8. It is so nice to hear that you did not let him cum either before or after the spanking...all tooo often spankings become foreplay and they should be what they are...spankings

  9. Deirdre:

    As I've said previously you are very beautiful and have great legs. From a male perspective you beauty gives you a level of power over us males and I'd be interested in knowing if that is an aspect of Evans arousal of his willingness or eagerness to submit to you. Do you share this perspective?

  10. Hi D:

    Wow! Great site! Your husband is a very lucky man! I bet you hear that a lot! ;-)

    I am in a female led relationship with my wife a.k.a. Her Majesty The Queen. Loving corporal punishment is an integral part of our relationship. Looking at these photos I realize it's been a long time since I have had a good ass warming! Too long!! :-p Hopefully Her Majesty will remedy that soon! ;-)

    Pleased to make your acquaintance.

    All The Best


    P.S. My word verification is "splated" How appropriate!! :-)