Monday, November 15, 2010

back from hiatus

Hi everyone:

If you follow my blog, then you will know that I have been away for a while. It was June when I posted last: that's 5 months ago. Time goes by quickly, especially when you are busy!

There are two related reasons why I haven't posted for so long. One is that Evan and I have been very busy at work during this time. And the second is that we haven't engaged in much spanking activity in this time. We haven't given up on spanking: we have just been concentrating on other things in recent months.

Occasionally I get emails asking about our use of otk spankings vs. tying Evan down on the bench. Some people are even shocked that I restrain Evan on the bench. (For example, like this recent comment: "I am surprised that a guy would put up with restraints--from his own wife-- ... If I had to be restrained--I just would not do it---Its just too much --just my experience".) I respond to this comment: to each, their own. Evan is not "putting up" with my tying hm to the bench: he is a willing volunteer. In fact, the bench was a gift from him to me. If he didn't want it, he wouldn't have got it for us.

Evan is a complex man. As I have said before, he loves the idea of being spanked, but he hates it when the spanking is happening. The conflict is that the idea that excites him includes the spankings being very hard, beyond his control. He is excited by the idea of kicking and crying as he is spanked by a dominating figure (me!). By definition, it's not something that he can enjoy when it's happening. Having him restrained on the spanking bench allows him to live that fantasy. If he is over my knee when I spank him hard, he just moves out of the way: he is unable to hold himself in position because it hurts him a lot.

I hope to get back to more regular spankings in the coming months and consequently some more posting here. There are still some other topics that I can discuss too.

Please feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment to let me know you are reading.

Here are a couple of pictures from a spanking I gave him a while ago (the one that followed my teasing him in my last post).


  1. Deirdre,

    So good to have you back blogging. I have been checking your blog at least once a week with growing disappointment, since it really is one of the best FLR blogs written by a woman which, unfortunately, is quite rare.

    I absolutely follow your reasoning about restraining Evan on the bench. My wife does that with me sometimes and the feeling of being absolutely helpless and having to take whatever she decides to dish out is priceless. Not all men seem to feel the same, but, as you put it “to each, their own”! I am also similar to your husband in another aspect: I love the idea of being spanked, but hate it when the spanking is happening. I then dearly wish to be somewhere else and keep asking myself why I am doing that (wishing to be spanked, that is). But the feeling after the spanking is one of inner peace and deep love to my wife.

    Hope to read more from you soon!


  2. Welcome back Deirdre. Great to see you posting again. It was a pleasant surprise to see your entry pop up in my Google Reader app this morning. I appreciate your taking the time to post again as yours is a well-written blog and it's always interesting to hear things from the woman's perspective.

  3. Delighted to see you back. We've been taking a break also, but still read whats going on.

    Yes its funny how your bench has cropped in several places,quite a source of fascination out there. Me, well i prefer to go OTK, I think I get more out of having to stay there and take my spanking than I would if that choice was removed by being restrained.....not that i have a choice of course. K wants me across her knee, so thats where I go....

    Nice pics, as always,


  4. Welcome back:
    We enjoy and have used some of the ideas you have mentioned and the results are marvelous.

  5. Welcome back!!! It's GREAT to have you two back :)


  6. Welcome back! It's very nice to see you posting again. Your blog is what inspired me to start mine a short time ago and I look forward to your future posts.


  7. It is much more effective when you tie your husband to the bench or a rafter in the basement. Tells him that it is a punishment and not a love spanking. My husband is always tied for a spanking or whipping, and then he must remain tied for another hour or two to think about it.

  8. Yes, welcome back.

    I did a little hiatus also, sometimes there just doesn't seem to be much to blog about.

    I too share the curiosity of being restrained and having absolutely all control taken away. Sure, it's nice to be able to stay in place for a severe spanking and a bit of a sense of accomplishment. My Fine Lady always remarks how good I was for staying in place and I enjoy hearing that...

    But still, I wonder about being restrained.

    In any event, keep his ass warm... a warm and sore ass is a happy ass and happy mariage!

  9. Welcome back. I look forward to reading your wonderful blog.

  10. Really great to see you are back blogging again.
    I've been an avid 'lurker' here for sometime but while you've been off air, Mistress and I recently started blogging. It's such a good way to share experiences.
    I'm very much like Evan in that I like the thought of submitting to punishment.
    In truth I've been obsessed by corporal punishment since schooldays (though I was never caned at school) but the reality hurts like hell.
    I too am restrained for punishment. For us it works on several counts. Firstly I start to suffer after about six strokes of the cane and anytime after that I'd be wriggling around and even want to get up
    Secondly Mistress is relatively inexperienced so it helps her having a fixed target to aim at - especially as she enjoys putting considerable efforts into each stroke.
    And thirdly, there's something rather humbling for me when Mistress fastens the wrist bands. It's that feeling of total sumbmission I guess.
    I'd like to have the fortitude to not be restrained and 'take my punishment like a man' (as the saying used to be in British schools and institutes) but taking everything into account, restraint works best for us.
    Keep up the great blog.

  11. I found your blog some time back and enjoyed reading your story. My wife and I are also from New England and have been in an FLR for a little over a year now.

    Welcome back and tank you for sharing your life with us.

  12. Hi

    Welcome back and hope your time was productive and more important fun!! So nice to see your husband back over your lovely lap, we missed you two.

    I am a true OTK person and since you have been gone, my wife and I are now playing and enjoying a FRL, she loves spanking me over her lap!

    Thanks and welcome back, glad you are well.


  13. Great to see you are back. Ignore any negative comments (about restraining for example they are just one person views. Many prefer prefer to be restrained so that a good punishment can be carried out.

    Keep up the good work.

  14. Ms. Deirdre-
    Its great to see you posting again. As you can tell from the comments (and there are lots of them already), you have been missed. And your blog was one of the inspirations for us to open our own blog.
    Ken & Cora

  15. Glad you are back, I hope all is well with you, I have missed your posts. I love all your pics, especially the ones with you positioning him over your lap, the best way for you to have full access to his bottom is by placing his manhood right between your legs as you describe. You sound like a wonderful disciplinarian, keep up the good work.

  16. I love the idea of being helpless and
    and completely under the control of a
    woman. That's the only way to go.