Saturday, November 3, 2012

My wife Deirdre in charge: joy in my life

Hi all:

Thanks to all of you for your support of Deirdre's blog.

Many of you have asked for my take on how my relationship with Deirdre has been going recently, with Deirdre taking strong control of our marriage.  Briefly, it has been great.  I don't know what clicked in her a few months ago now (September? late August?) when she first grabbed me by my ear and my hair and told me off.  But that totally worked for me and for her.  Now I always listen to her, even when I am grouchy and don't feel like it.  Two days ago we were traveling somewhere in the evening, take a local flight together.  I often am somewhat nervous traveling, because I don't like to be late and I don't like the possibility of being late.  This makes me tense, especially when there are lots of lines at airports.  Anyway, I was tense, and Deirdre could sense this.  She told me calmly to relax, that we had lots of time, and that we should always enjoy our time together, no matter what we were doing. I agreed half-heartedly with her, even though I knew she was right: it's just hard to get my attention when I am tense or stressed.  Eventually I was a bit short with her (I don't remember exactly when or where) and she told me loudly and clearly that she would deal with me properly when we got to the hotel: she was going to give me a sound spanking and put me in the corner for 30 minutes to make me think about my behavior.  This loud threat (which I am sure anyone around us could hear) got me to behave immediately.  I stopped behaving tensely with her, and we had a very nice flight.

True to her word however, she gave me a quick hard spanking as soon as we got to the hotel, and put me in the corner with my pants down, hands on my head for 15 minutes (she let me me off 15 minutes for good behavior).  We had a wonderful evening after that all around.

All in all, things are going wonderfully.  Deirdre spanks me often now: probably twice a week (which is a lot in regular life).  We never fight anymore: if I get cranky in any way, she pulls out her purse paddle, and takes my pants down and spanks me as soon after the bad behavior as possible.  I have to admit that it is hard to take at times, but we get along so much better like this.  She is so calmly in control, which eventually melts me to do her bidding.  We are both very happy.  For my part, I feel deeply content, moreso than ever in my life before.  She makes me completely relaxed when I know she is in control (which is almost always now).

My best to all,


These shots are from a while ago.  Deirdre has already been spanking me for a while at this point, and my legs are kicking (and my bottom is red).

Deirdre connected well on that one.  If you could see my face, you would see me with my mouth open, yelling out.

When I make noise, that just encourages Deirdre to spank more and harder.  So there is usually more to come.

That one hurt a lot too!


  1. Evan-
    What a wonderful description from your point of view. I can't wait to share your thoughts with my Lady (Cora) as I think it will resonate with her, too. In fact I think that there will be plenty of guys sharing it with their own Ladies.
    Well Done (sort of like your bottom in the pix).

  2. Evan,
    Sounds wonderful, that is a great example of how smoothly and fun life can be with a woman who spanks her man when he needs it. Instead of arguing and fighting she simply pulls out the paddle and settles the problem on your bare bottom right there, and life goes on smoothly. Love women like Deirdre and Cora who know how to handle their men properly, and keep things running smoothly :)

  3. Evan,
    Thanks for sharing your view on things. I to can relate how things go so much smoother with a strict wife to keep you in line. Dianne went from vanilla to strict overnight to my suprise and has just gotten more strict as time goes on. I still have my place as her husband and still get to input my opinions it's just she has final say. And like Deidre she is only to happy to heat up my backside when I cross a line. It's made me a better husband and more attentive to her needs. Also has improved some of my faults like procrastination just to name one. Again thanks for sharing.
    Bob S.

  4. Evan,

    Amazing isn't that millions of men spend billions of dollars a year in therapists offices and in pharmacies looking for ways to reduce stress and tension. And yet some find relief and even joy in being taken in hand by a loving women who knows what he really needs. Surely Deirdre and you are lucky to found each other, but those of us who have read this blog from its beginning know how your relationship has evolved and know that openness, and honesty, caring and love--not luck--are what have enabled the two of you to arrive at where you are. Congratulations!


  5. When you hear from someone who sounds as happy as you do in this post, you just can't help but feel happy too. Thanks for posting!


  6. Evan,

    Thank you for this thoughtful post. I can identify with your feelings of stress (I hate airports). You, Deirdre, Ken, Cora, and a few others make me think that female-led spanking relationships can work in reality, and not just in fantasy.


  7. Very very cool

    Glad You guys are so happy

    The also happy,


  8. Evan,

    I think it's great to hear your thoughts regarding how happy you are with your strict wife. When a husband lets his wife "rule the roost" he often is much happier.

    I think, however, that you could enhance your submission to her by assisting with longer term denial. I've experienced the benifits of a man who doesn't orgasm for months. Maybe your different, but my husband is able to settle down the as he gets further into his denial...and I spank away the times he unruly!

    Anyway, congrats on your new findings.


  9. you are one lucky guy Evan and Deirdre is lucky also. two peas in a pod and cooking up married bliss.. i never get tired of your posts and really appreciate the pictures.

  10. Evan,
    First let me say thanks for sharing your feelings about your relationship with Deidre. Your perspective on things sound very similar to how my husband Bob feels about our relationship with me in charge.
    Our FLR began just a few months ago. We've been married for over twenty years and he has tried to get me to spank him from the beginning but I didn't really want to. I thought it was just a weird kink he had and I did give him a few playful spankings over the years but never realized how deep his desires were. To make a long story short we had dinner with some friends we hadn't seen in several years and during dinner she scolded her husband and made a comment about him needing a spanking. I talked to her in private about the comment and she told me she did actually spank him and how much better things were. Well the next day Bob failed to do a chore I had asked him to do and it was really important it got done and I was mad and decided to give this a try. So that day he got a no nonsense hard paddling that went on well past his pleas and begging me to stop. Afterwards he got the task done immediately better than expected.
    That was when I realized I'd found a way of getting him to not procrastinate and to do things in a timely manner.
    I learned within a few days of his desires and some other things that convinced me to take total control and have never looked back.
    Through his browsing history I found out about Julie at "Strict Julie" and she helped me get going and was very helpful with advice. Like you and Deidre we are very happy now and things go so much smoother. Bob hates the actual spanking but does desire it and it does get the results I'm always looking for.
    Give Deidre my best and tell her we really enjoy the blog.

  11. J. and N. (my late wife) both made a point of spanking (or whipping) me at least twice a week - or more, if required - just to keep me in line, but that didn't preclude some 'impromptu' sessions (e.g. in the open air!) - just "for the fun of it" - and I have long since learned to accept (or even, in some ways, to agree) that I need to be subject to a woman's stern -but loving- discipline... as it seems you have!


    1. Yes, you need to be spanked or whipped (and occasionally strapped or caned) as often as required - and you just got a serious taste of the martinet six hours ago, didn't you?

      More to come on Sunday!


  12. Evan,
    So nice to hear from you! Your Deidre loves you very much. I hope you have a happy spanking holiday season. Perhaps Santa will bring Deidre a new paddle to use on that beautiful bottom of yours!

  13. Evan,

    \Thank you for writing on the blog, love your comments. You sir have an incredible and sexy wife, love the pics of you over her knee, you need not to squirm so much so you can stay on her lap. Fact that she now spanks you on a regular basis is just erotic and moving to me. Wonderful in fact, your wife's lovely and sexy lap is just so welcoming. Glad you got a nice pre flight spanking as well, I love the quick otk discipline spankings, very effective.

    Great and keep on being who you are with her.



    ps: Have power back from Sandy, was horrendous, so much to do but safe and happy to be on the blog again.

  14. wish i had a girlfriend or wife who could be in charge of me and give me the punishment spankings or spank me when ever i need it or not lord know i been bad for too long and should of been punish long time ago

    i would even allow deirde to puninsh me with spanking but i know it never will happen but if she ever decide to punish other mens i be one first one to sign up

    madison ohio

  15. If possible, might you comment on the feelings/thoughts that go thru your head when you're being milked/drained. Do you consider this "sexual" or part of your punishment/"maintenance"?

  16. Hi Evan, this is great. I'm with Bob S - getting spanked when you need it doesn't mean you completely abandon the ability to have an opinion or contribute as husband but like you I can tend to get snappy, or stressed, rude or forgetful and a good spanking when I do clears the air, get sme back on track and we both enjoy our time together much more without the remnants of arguments hanging around.

    I can really relate to your story - I'm bad at airports and with traveling generally also and I've started many holidays and trips away in the corner of a hotel room with a red bottom. So, it hurts and its embarrassing getting it somewhere people might hear but its so much better having it over with than spoiling a holiday with the tension of an unresolved row.


  17. Ladies, if you are just starting to take control and spanking your sub, "time outs" are very effective, before, after, or both a spanking. When I started seriously spanking sissy maid kay, "go stand in the corner" was the directive. I might add "panties down" or something else, but I think "time out" can a a simple and effective command. Try it, You will like it. Sub will learn to like it, if that actually matters. Mistress Barbara