Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Feedback on our spanking bench

Thank you all for the feedback on my recent posts. It's very nice to know that people are reading my blog. As I have mentioned to some of you in email, one of the points of this blog is to put the idea out there in the mainstream that it's ok for a woman to beat their husbands' bottoms, if both partners enjoy this activity.

Rob says: "I can only begin to imagine how intimidating this must be for Evan, knowing he cannot control the punishment."

Yes, Evan is frightened of the bench. In fact, it's hard to get him to go on with any regularity! I will talk about this sometime later: I need ways to get him on the bench when I say (which is hard to enforce).

"On the other hand, it must be a total thrill for you to see him in this position, so totally vulnerable."

Yes, definitely. I like having him there very much.

Hank's Sara says: "tell me do you leave him in that position after the spanking for a bit? Such a great visual I must confess."

I don't think that I have left him on the bench for more than an hour at the most. It's an interesting idea to leave him on for longer sometime: I may try that.

Rachel asks: "Do you wear your swimsuit as you have evan in position? Is he hairy on his butt or is this natural?"

No, I have never spanked Evan while wearing a swimsuit. I typically spank Evan in the evening, and I don't often wear a swimsuit in the evening.

In answer to Rachel's second question, Evan is not very hairy on his butt. That is his natural non-hairiness. But part of the reason that he looks hairless is that the camera overexposed the scene. That's also the reason that you can't see how deep red his bottom got.

One anonymous commenter suggests that I fig Evan while he is on the bench, with the practice of "figging" consisting of inserting a piece of ginger into the anus, which causes a burning sensation.

I have figged Evan on several occasions. I will write a blog entry about that sometime. It will also not surprise you that (a) Evan suggested it originally; and (b) he doesn't like it at all. The ginger seems to have a strong effect on him (which is entertaining for me).

Carl says: "do you get tired while spanking Evan? 60 to 100 spanks per minute for 3-5 minutes is a lot of work! You're obviously in good shape, but I wonder if you get out of breath, arm tired, or sweaty."

I usually spank for 1-2 minutes at a time, for a total of 5-10 minutes. This hurts Evan a lot, and yes, it does get a bit tiring toward the end of each timed piece. But I don't do this for long enough to get sweaty or out of breath. And I have a pair of dumbbells that help me keep my arms in a good shape.

SubguyinAtl says: "When you moved down to the thighs, I would be screaming and crying like a 10 year old. Does Evan humiliate himself like I would by completely losing control?"

Evan certainly yells a lot when I spank his thighs. But he yells a lot when I start on his bottom also. I don't know if there is any difference in the kind of yelling he does: both are very intense. It's when he stops yelling so loudly that I typically move to an unmarked territory (such as the thighs) and start there. That usually gets him yelling again pretty quickly.

I don't know about "humiliating himself": it's pretty humiliating to be tied down like that to start with. He definitely loses control when I spank him on the bench. The spankings always go well past his comfort level, so he is crying out for long periods for me to stop.

Redtail says: "I have never been restrained during an adult spanking, but it is a hope that someday my wife will agree to restraining me. I am like Evan and usually end up stopping the spanking when i think I have had enough."

Evan says that the bench spankings have satisfied him completely on ever wanting to be out of control: when on the bench, he has no control over what happens next, and it always goes well beyond what would be his limits if he were over my knee. I wish that I were strong enough to restrain him myself over my knee (with no need for the bench), but the bench is a good substitute for our strength imbalance.

Finally, Carl says "You must be a terribly good aim to be so near to his sensitive penis and testicles with the paddle. I cringe at the thought if you caught the inner thigh just slightly too much and nicked the sensitive bits. Yikes! Has it ever happened?"

It's not hard at all to aim well with my paddles. I have never hit him in a place that I didn't aim for using my paddles. If I want to spank his inner thighs or cheeks, I can pull the cheek out and spank with the other hand. However, it's harder to aim with a cane or a strap. We have a three-tailed strap that I really like: I can aim quite well with it, striking very hard. However, it's hard to aim where the three tails will all hit exactly. Once, while aiming for his near cheek, I managed to nick his testicles, just a tiny bit. What a yell followed that strike! He was screaming as loudly as he could, at a different frequency when that happened. I still gave him a few more strikes, and then asked him what he was yelling about. He told me, and so I checked his balls very carefully. There was no mark or suggestion of damage. However, I was careful not to strike him there again. I had recorded that spanking, and in watching the recording, we could see his balls get a slight touch of my strap. It was such a slight contact, for such a loud response. I suppose it hurt a lot, but there was no real damage at all. I should have spanked him a lot longer and harder after that for making such a fuss.

More pictures to come later. My best to all. Keep the comments coming.



  1. Dear D.
    Why you are not using Corp riding for your husband punishment?
    Were you whipped your husband until now?
    It is very effective for him. I am whipping my husband since marriage.
    Kiss you

  2. Ma’am

    Re: Accidentally hitting Evan’s „vital parts“

    You write
    I suppose it hurt a lot, but there was no real damage at all. I should have spanked him a lot longer and harder after that for making such a fuss.

    It occasionally happens that one of my wife’s swats with the strap or the riding crops goes astray and hits my testicles. This always causes me to yell out loudly – from fear and shock rather than actual pain, and maybe also to – instinctively – give her a signal to be more careful (after all she is the one benefiting most from my “crown jewels” functioning properly). Far be it from me to give you advice on how to punish your husband – I am convinced us men deserve everything we get and perhaps more - but in this case I would humbly suggest not to punish Evan harder for yelling.


  3. Dear Deirdre,

    Thank you for the patient, complete, and long reply to my and all the others' questions. It's such a pleasure to read your posts, try to picture your experiences, and interact with you.

    Best regards,

  4. Thank you for the detail explanation. Once we are in our own home I am going to follow your example more often with aj.

  5. Hi Deirdre , give you Evan a sporadically or a regular spanking ?