Guiding my husband's penis between my thighs before a spanking

As you all know, Evan is often erect before a spanking. You also probably know that I like it this way: I love looking at and touching his erect penis. I then like to spank the erection out of him. Here is another photo of Evan getting across my lap, with an erection.

And here I guide him between my thighs.


Now I get to work. It won't take long before the erection is completely gone.


More later,

D.

Our spanking life is a journey, not a goal

This sounds cliche, but my life with Evan is a journey. There are no goals in this journey, but there is one basic rule: we love, respect and support each other, no matter what. I realize that this rule isn't a very spanking-oriented rule, but it applies to our spanking life as well as other parts of our life together.

The reason that I am saying this is that I often get asked how often I spank Evan and why don't I spank him more, or for some particular infraction. The answer to this kind of query is that you are thinking of our relationship wrong. There is no target number of spankings for us. We have tried this kind of thinking for our relationship in the past, but it creates additional unnecessary stress. By creating artificial goals, one will be disappointed if one does not achieve the goals. So we have adapted our spanking relationship over the years so that we have no goals other than to love, respect and support each other, no matter how many times I spank Evan. Sometimes it will be two or even three times in a single week. More typically, it will be once in a month or so. We do however many we do, and we greatly enjoy each other through all of them. It is this feeling of happiness resulting from being together that's the main reward for us, not meeting some arbitrary target number of spankings.

Having said all this, I identify with the comment from an anonymous reader, who yesterday said the following:

"Great to see you back!!! I've checked almost daily. My lady and I are considering a more formal spanking arrangement, where I have to agree to be spanked for certain offenses, and I have to give her some latitude. There will be times when I won't agree or am not in the mood to be spanked, but it's a matter of take it, or end the spanking relationship. I don't get to choose when I'm to be spanked. I'm a bit afraid of this, in a "normal" everyday relationship. I am headstrong, myself. I believe in fairness, and what if I really resent the implication that I am "wrong", when I fully believe I am not? I get to be spanked for it, regardless? I'm wondering how you, or others, handle this. It's one thing to fantasize about this kind of relationship; putting it into real-world practice is another. Ego's are involved. And emotions. Tread carefully, I suppose, huh..."

I have run into exactly this issue with Evan. He and I are both stubborn, and we are often sure that we are right, when we get into a disagreement. Neither one of us is good at letting the other have their way. In a spanking relationship, one would think that I should be allowed to make the decisions in these difficult situations. Eventually, maybe I will be able to have this control. And over time, it is more the case. We think it is a mistake to have ultimatums like "take it, or end the spanking relationship", as the commenter suggests. Both of us like what we get out of our spanking relationship, so why throw it away if we have a hard time agreeing at times? Over time, Evan is gradually becoming more submissive, and I have become more relaxed in my dominance. For us, we think that this is the solution. No ultimatums: just enjoy each other for who we are.

Here is a nice picture of contact. I probably enjoyed this when it happened more than Evan did.

Thanks for all the comments and the email

I am very pleased to have received so much positive feedback since I resumed blogging. I appreciate all the kind things that you all have written to me, either in the comments section or in email to me. Most importantly, please know that I really appreciate every one of your comments. Even if it's just a couple of words of support, somehow it's much better to receive those positive words of support than to receive nothing. (All of you bloggers will understand what I mean.) Logically, I know that many people are reading my blog -- I see the numbers on the counter -- but somehow that little bit of feedback makes a world of difference in bringing me back to keep writing. So even if you have written to me before, don't ever feel that your comments aren't useful: they are. (Except of course the few people who are demanding or rude! Perhaps the three of you can go and write your own blog.)

I will be back soon with more contentful topics. I have a few things brewing that I want to run by Evan first before I post anything.

Talk to you soon,

D.

ps. Here is an obligatory picture of my husband's ass. (Now there's a sentence that I am not used to writing.)

more otk for Evan

Hi all:

Thank you very much for all the kind comments. I am glad that you like my blog so much.

Here are a couple more shots of the otk spanking I gave Evan in the last photo set. If remember, I actually had him play with himself so that he had a nice big erection before we started the spanking. Then I had him place himself over my knee. You can see me maneuver his erection between my thighs. (I love gripping it with my hands and legs!)




(Sorry about the poor quality.) Some people have asked if Evan ever orgasms across my lap, with his erection between my thighs. The answer is definitely no. There are two reasons for this. First, he needs a lot of stimulation before he orgasms. And second, the spanking eliminates his erection fast. A few hard smacks with the paddle, and there is nothing to squeeze down between my thighs anymore: he shrinks back to his small soft state.

Then I started the spanking:




You can see that Evan squirms around when he is over my lap, without fail. I mostly like his squirming: it provides a strong cue that I am doing a good job. But it is sometimes a little annoying. Once he nearly kicked me in the nose. I spanked extra hard after that. He doesn't want to get me mad when he's over my knee!


Anyway, that's all for now. I think I will talk about some other issues in upcoming blog posts.

Happy spanking! Especially you women who like to spank your men. Remember, they may say they don't want it, but they need it. Always keep in mind that they asked for this treatment. Give it to them as hard as you can. It's good for them! They will thank you later. (And if they don't thank you, then something is wrong.)

back from hiatus

Hi everyone:

If you follow my blog, then you will know that I have been away for a while. It was June when I posted last: that's 5 months ago. Time goes by quickly, especially when you are busy!

There are two related reasons why I haven't posted for so long. One is that Evan and I have been very busy at work during this time. And the second is that we haven't engaged in much spanking activity in this time. We haven't given up on spanking: we have just been concentrating on other things in recent months.

Occasionally I get emails asking about our use of otk spankings vs. tying Evan down on the bench. Some people are even shocked that I restrain Evan on the bench. (For example, like this recent comment: "I am surprised that a guy would put up with restraints--from his own wife-- ... If I had to be restrained--I just would not do it---Its just too much --just my experience".) I respond to this comment: to each, their own. Evan is not "putting up" with my tying hm to the bench: he is a willing volunteer. In fact, the bench was a gift from him to me. If he didn't want it, he wouldn't have got it for us.

Evan is a complex man. As I have said before, he loves the idea of being spanked, but he hates it when the spanking is happening. The conflict is that the idea that excites him includes the spankings being very hard, beyond his control. He is excited by the idea of kicking and crying as he is spanked by a dominating figure (me!). By definition, it's not something that he can enjoy when it's happening. Having him restrained on the spanking bench allows him to live that fantasy. If he is over my knee when I spank him hard, he just moves out of the way: he is unable to hold himself in position because it hurts him a lot.

I hope to get back to more regular spankings in the coming months and consequently some more posting here. There are still some other topics that I can discuss too.

Please feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment to let me know you are reading.

Here are a couple of pictures from a spanking I gave him a while ago (the one that followed my teasing him in my last post).