Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dierdre & Evan: Our Story

First, let me thank you for reading my blog. There have been lots of visitors (many more than I had expected!) and many comments, and a few emails. I really appreciate the comments and emails, so keep them coming. I will try to respond to those which ask for information from me and Evan. If it's about our life together, I may ask you to wait for the blog entry that talks about a related topic. So please be patient.

But I am always open to ideas regarding topics to write about. I may not use them right away, but I will keep them in mind for the future. For the first few posts, I plan to tell you about me and Evan, how we met, what we like, and some of what we do.

Evan and I met at work a few years ago. I was immediately attracted to him, and he was also very attracted to me. But we were both in other relationships, so we didn't act upon our mutual interest, other than flirting with each other occasionally. Over the years, we eventually split up with our previous partners, and so we decided to give a relationship together a try. Right from the beginning, Evan told me that he was interested in having a dominance / submission relationship. He thought that this might scare me away, but it certainly did not. I found this idea of his intriguing and exciting. Before I met Evan, I didn't know that this was a possible full-time lifestyle; I had only been familiar with spanking as part of sex play.

Evan was very explicit from early on that he would like to be the submissive in such a relationship. He was mostly focused on spanking back then. He had a fantasy of having a dominant wife that would spank him for transgressions. But this was just part of his ideal relationship: he wanted to serve his wife in any way that she chose. He hoped that I might like to take on this role. I was excited to try this out, but I didn't know if it would be for me. I thought that I would probably prefer more of an equal-partner type of relationship, where we each take turns being in charge of the other for an evening or two at a time. I had always been in relationships where my partners were somewhat demanding and dominant, so that it was difficult to imagine what it would be like to always be in charge. So over the first few months together, we tried switching back and forth.

We started with some spanking every couple of weeks. I found that I really liked spanking Evan, but I didn't like getting spanked at all. I didn't enjoy the feeling of being dominated or the pain associated with being spanked. So we moved pretty quickly to a female-dominant style of relationship. Being in charge was exhilarating. I have always been a very bossy person: I like things my way. Being the dominant in the relationship with Evan was and is wonderful. He will do exactly as I wish, mostly without questions (more on his occasional recalcitrance in a later post). He does all the cooking, cleaning, looking after the house and finances, and so I am able to do things that are more rewarding for me.

I don't fully understand why Evan has always been so interested in spanking, but I see that he is not alone. There are many people out there with a similar fascination (and now I am one too). According to Evan, he has always been tremendously excited by the possibility of being completely out of control, with a dominant woman taking advantage of him by spanking him soundly, taking him beyond his limits. He had pretty standard nurse / teacher / baby-sitter fantasies growing up: anything with a plausible female authority figure in charge of him, spanking him for some wrong-doing. A possible partial explanation for his strong interest in spanking is that he was spanked as a child by his mother. Whatever the cause, I have been happy to become his dominant mistress. We both like the fact that the spanking is real in our relationship. I am an authority figure for Evan. We love each other very much, and this dominant / submissive dynamic works for us.

When I spank him, I am very serious about it. I never use my bare hand: I am not strong enough to hurt him that way. (I am only 5'6" and he is a big and muscular 6'2".) I use a wooden paddle or other heavy implement, and I strike hard from the first stroke. I want him to feel it immediately, and I want him to be remember that it was him who asked for this in the first place. A typical over-the-knee spanking lasts about 5-10 minutes for us. It's not continuous, however. I will spank hard and fast, and he will lose control and squirm vigorously pretty quickly, after about 10-20 spanks. Then he calms down a bit, and we repeat this over and over until he can take a longer continuous spanking, of a minute or so straight. He is calm and very submissive by the end. I scold him throughout the spanking, but very calmly, in a soothing way. As I mentioned earlier, he still loves the idea of spanking, but he now dreads getting spanked. Myself, I would like to spank him more often than I do, but it is sometimes difficult to schedule. I spank him about once a month at the moment. I am increasing the frequency to once a week with the posting of this blog. I plan to give him his first weekly spanking on Friday.

I know that men typically like pictures, so I will post more pictures from the spanking shown in the photos in the previous blog post. I have a lot of stills from that video (and many others as well). I will post a few picture every few days, so that you have some visual material to look forward to. Then I will move on to some other event that we have recorded. These first six photos are from the very beginning of that spanking, form Evan removing his pants (look: he has a partially erect penis: very nice) to laying over my lap, to getting the first few hard strokes.

Remember to leave me a comment to let me know that you are reading.



  1. Thanks Deirdre the pictures are great,was there a specific reasons for this spanking?

  2. Very nice Deirdre, I really like your attitude toward spanking Evan, you sound like the perfect disciplinarian for him.... forgive me but I am a bit envious ;)
    Love your Blog so far!

  3. Great start. Will Evan write about his point of view too?

  4. Congratulations, on the blog and committing to a F/M relationship, I hope you are as happy in it as I am. Caning after a paddling is excellent punishment for a more serious breach of the rules. Lie him across the bed with a pillow under his tummy and give him six strokes. I really appreciate this when I have been especially naughty. Also read the Spencer Spanking Plan and use the F/M part only. Also worth a visit is the Disciplinary Wives Club on the internet! Good luck. John R

  5. great pictures and story. Please post more

    Submissive husband

  6. Congratulations on what sounds like a very fulfilling relationship for both of you.


  7. Hi all:

    Thanks for the comments. I really appreciate them. It means I know you are reading what I write, which is rewarding somehow.

    In answer to your questions:

    Rob: I think that this spanking was to try out the paddle that I got. It is a great paddle: very solid and thick. I can spank very hard and fast with this one. I think I also was scolding Evan during this one for talking back to me earlier in the week. (He gets in moods where is less obedient that I would like. I need to treat those moods as soon as I can.)

    Dave: I am happy that you think I am such a good disciplinarian for Evan. He would certainly agree, but it's always good for him to hear this from outside sources. I want him to worship me at all times. That feels good.

    Anon 1: Good question: I hadn't thought about including some thoughts of Evan's on occasion. That sounds like a good idea. I'll probably do that at some point, depending on the circumstances.

    John R: More on caning later. I don't think I am so good at it yet. Not my favorite implement, at least not yet. I really like paddles and straps, because they are so easy to use. I can't miss with a good heavy paddle. I am not so accurate with a cane. (I know, I could practice more, but I am happy with the implements that I am using now.)

    Submissive husband: Thanks for the support. I really appreciate the nice comments.

    Michael^2: Thanks to you also for the nice comment.

  8. I'll add my compliments to the chorus. It is good that you and Evan were able o discuss what would work for both of you and very courageous of you to take charge of Evan and his discipline. And also very trusting of Evan to allow you to be so much in charge.

  9. Love the story so far, it's great to hear about somebody so open to such a relationship

  10. Hi Deridre,

    Thanks so much for putting the time into this. I think it is terrific. Being married in an on/off female led relationship and being in a 24/7 FLR with my ex I certainly beleive as you do that this type of relationship works great for all parties concerned. I also agree with Evan...I think about getting spanked and it really gets me excited (such as I see in one of those pictures)but I realy hate getting them and want them over quickly. Then again in a few days I cannot stop thinking about it. Or when my wife whispers in my ear or maybe even louder then that that "you are going over my knee when we get home.," I just melt...

    Anyway...I will keep up with your blog. I do remember seeing a few things on DWC from you guys. Thanks.

  11. It sounds like you are off to a good start. When you mentioned that you don't give spankings with your hand. I have found that bare-handed spankings can be quite intimate and bondage, even if they don't have the same impact as you would get using a strap or hairbrush.

    Are the spankings always meant to be more punitive, or do you sometimes mix a sensual spanking in as part of a prelude to foreplay, or even just to show your love for him.

    Thanks for sharing!


  12. Thanks to Redtail for the praise, and to Anonymous 1 and 2 for the nice comments also. As always, I appreciate the kind remarks.

    Anonymous 2: you sound like Evan. Drop me a line: let's meet sometime if you are ever in town.

    Paul: I don't spank with my hand, because it doesn't hurt Evan that way. Our spankings are sexual in some way (they excite both of us), but they are always hard, no-nonsense spankings. They are meant to hurt Evan.

    They are not prelude to sex. We do not have sex afterward. They are meant as discipline (even though I find them exciting).

  13. Congratulation!
    Successful in your DWC lifestyle.
    I wish you spanks your husband harder and harder for his education.

  14. In our relationship spanking is sexual and our physical roles are reversed from yours. I am 5'10" and 165 lbs. while Amanda is 6'2" and 195 lbs. and doesn't have any trouble putting and keeping me over her knee for a bare bottomed spanking whenever she wants. We had talked about spanking only jokingly when dating but it wasn't until our wedding night that her warnings came to fruition. I drank a little too much and mouthed off to her more than she liked. When we got to our room we stripped each other as she voiced her concern over my behavior throughout the day. We got into a minor argument and I called her a pain in the ass and to loosen up a bit to which she responded that I was acting childish but that I gave her a good idea. What do you mean? About me giving you a pain in your ass and if that is what my brand spanking new husband wants than that is what she will give him. What? Oh no you're not. I won't stand for it. I know, you'll be over my knee. We wrestled for a few minutes then I was unceremoniously turned over her knee as her big warm heavy breasts rested on my naked back as my spanking began. We were both so hot afterwards she just mounted me in a 69 position for sever minutes then rode me to our mutual satisfaction. That was the first spanking my wife gave me and she still teases me about it to this day as she warnes me to be her good little boy.


  15. Parivash:

    Thanks for the comment. I think I spank him hard enough already (I do it as hard as I can!).


    That sounds like a nice story. But it sounds kind of fantasy-like, if you know what I mean. Good luck with your relationship.

  16. Greetings Ma'am,

    i just wanted to weigh in and add my gratitude to You for posting these stories of Your daily life in a Female led family!

    Ms Devi & i are quite similar to You & evan in that
    - 1) i do all the household chores & most the cooking, and certainly the cleaning up after She cooks!
    - 2) W/we don't have the time nor inclination to 'live kinky' every single day, but there is still never any doubt who rules O/our house!
    - 3) She loves the corporal punishments,... i dot not!!!

    i am not a pain slut,.. but here is my take on that. i love Mistress,... no, i adore Her! i worship the very site of Her and to be fortunate enough to be a part of Her life thrills me beyond measure! So, if it please Her to spank, flog, or whip me to work out Her frustrations, i am Honored to be the one who gets to do that for Her!

    - Ms Devi's grateful lil boi

  17. Interesting to read. We are evolving from a Spencer plan to more of a dwc plan ourselves.
    The couple should however, make their own rules.Advice form some is simply advice.

  18. Hello,

    Very interesting blog and you sound a lot like us. Thanks for sharing.