Wednesday, January 27, 2010


As was pointed out by a couple of commenters, a wooden hairbrush is a good (and classic) spanking instrument. I have used a few hairbrushes on Evan's bottom in my time, and I like them almost as much as my spanking paddles. I like my spanking paddles slightly more, however. First, my paddles are heavier: very thick, solid wood. While I am sure one can find a heavy wooden hairbrush somewhere, many that are available in drugstores are not very heavy. It can be a lot of work to spank hard using a lightweight hairbrush, even if it's made of wood. I know when Evan feels his spankings (he squirms and complains a lot), and in order to make him really feel it, I have to work hard with a light hairbrush. My paddles have a stronger impact with less effort on my part. Second, I really like my hairbrushes for their intended purpose. I have actually broken a light weight hairbrush on Evan's behind, and I don't want to do that again. I will never break my paddles on Evan's behind: they are much too sturdy.

One advantage of a hairbrush that some of you have pointed out is that you can leave hairbrushes out in plain sight, and no one will know how you use them. Although this is true, I am more open than that: I like it when people see my paddle in my purse, and then they think about what it's for. That embarrasses Evan, which I enjoy. I am not embarrassed at all by the fact that I spank him.

Please keep the comments coming. New readers: please leave a comment or drop me an email. I write this blog in order to feel connected to a community. So please be a part of this community. And thanks to all of you who have written to me.

I will write more soon. I will leave you with a few additional stills from a second otk spanking that we filmed. The first picture shows Evan over my lap about to receive the first spank. I like his toes to be pointed away, so that the top of his feet are relaxed on the floor when we start. This way his legs are relaxed and his bottom is not clenched when I smack it. I prefer the sound and feel of a good spank on his relaxed bottom: the sound is not as satisfying (more of a thud, perhaps not as loud?) when he is clenching his muscles. I have him keep the position with his toes pointed away as well as he can throughout the spanking. If he moves away from it, then we start over (and over), until he can maintain it for a long-ish continuous spanking (of 40 or 50 hard spanks).

The second picture is just the third spank in this spanking, and already he has broken his position. This just means a longer spanking for him.

And on the fifth and sixth spanks, he just squirms more. He complains that I spank very hard, but of course that's the point. His bottom was bright red at the end of this one. I will show you evidence of that later.


  1. Thanks so much for sharing. You are on your way to a blissful marriage... Evan introduced you to this because it's a need that can only be met one way... and you are lovingly meeting that need. It will bond him to you forever.

    My only caution is keep the communication open for two reasons: 1) It's important for him to verbalize why he needs this, how it affects his feelings, how things might be changing, etc. Guys keep thoughts hidden... even from themselves... he needs to develop the skills to dig them out of his subconscious, and 2)it keeps the relationship intimate, and tears down walls before they can get strong.

  2. Who is taking the photographs?

  3. Hi Just found your blog, We have not gotten into spanking but if you check our blog out you will see who is boss

  4. welll there's always a bathbrush....


  5. great job, it is soo cool to see that their are wifes out their who dont mind someone seeing a brush or paddle out, my wife has lay a paddle out on the table for me to see it when i get home and she is one that will tell me if we are out and about that i will be getting a spanking when we get home and people have looked, and for my wife the paddles are the best, great job, bruce

  6. Hi Deirdre,

    Forget the drugstore. We've had this model for fifteen years and despite extensive application, it has not broken.

    Oh yeah, and it REALLY hurts. Perhaps even more than a paddle because the same force is concentrated over a smaller impact area. Ouch!


  7. Thanks to all for the great comments.

    subguy in Atl: Thanks for the advice re: communication. We have very good communication, so I am not too worried about that. We both talk about how we feel very easily.

    John R: These are stills from digital movies. We just used a portable camera, set up on a table away from us. No fancy equipment here. (No, I am not posting the movies.)

    kept by 7: Thanks for the link. It's amazing to me how many f/m couples there are out there. Not so many are posting about spanking, but maybe that will change over the next few years.

    Recidavist (boy, that word is hard to spell...): yes, I guess we could use a bath brush. I have never had one of those. Good idea. (But I still like my paddles.)

    bruce: thanks for your support. I appreciate it.

    Bonnie: thanks for the tip. That looks very nice, and incredibly inexpensive. I think I may order one.

  8. Hi Deirdre,
    Just found your blog through Bonnie's site. Nice job. What kinds of things earn Evan a trip over your lap? Do you do it on the spur of the moment, or do you announce your intentions earlier in the day so he can ponder it for a while? Will he be posting on here from time to time so we can read about things from his perspective?
    Best wishes.

  9. I love you new pics, and I can see you are doing a good job on Evan, as he is obviously unable to keep his feet on the floor as you require, obviously you are teaching him a valuable lesson. I have encouraged several Ladies I know to check in on your blog, because I can see you have much to teach women getting into this lifestyle. You seem to be a natural to the discipline of your husband, thank you for sharing your discipline methods. I also admire the fact that you are not ashamed to carry and show your paddle, I just wish more Ladies could learn to do that, because there is nothing to be ashamed of, on the contrary it is something for you to be proud of, you are the HOH and don't care who knows.
    Your biggest fan,

  10. Hi Rob:

    As I mentioned in the "Our Story" blog entry, Evan doesn't misbehave very often. But the most common issue I have with him is his tone in talking to me at times. He needs to remember to be respectful to me always. Sometimes he forgets himself, and talks to me in what I perceive to be a disrespectful tone. When he is later over my knee, I bring this up to make sure he gets the point.

    I am pretty sure he does get the point, but he still forgets occasionally. I will always be here to remind him.

    Dave: Thank you very much for the nice comments. I love the tone in your writing to me. I am very appreciative of having a "fan".

    Good luck with your lady friends and discussing spanking with them. I am happy to help via email with them, if I could be useful.

  11. You broke a hairbrush? I can't even imagine how hard you were spanking Evan. I've gotten what I thought was an incredibly hard spanking with a hairbrush on many occasions, but never hard enough to break the brush. Poor Evan!

  12. Please don't feel sorry for Evan: I wasn't even spanking so hard when I broke that brush. The reason that it broke was much more that it was a cheap poor quality hair brush rather than how hard I was hitting.

    The brush that Bonnie recommends above looks like a lovely solid brush. I may get one of those.

  13. Great blog. A little off topic but can you advise where I can get the software that allows you to remove your faces from the pictures as I would like to be able to use that myself for my site?

  14. I have the greatest admiration for you, Dierdre, both for your commitment to the D/S lifestyle, the way you carry it out and for photographing the events. The reason I asked 'who took the photographs?' is because being a follower of F/M spanking I have seen many sites on the web where it is obvious that there is a third person behind the camera, as a photgrapher this is a position I would love to find myself! OK so I am a naughty boy. My own wife, HOH, would go beserk if I even hinted that we photograph a session, though in the very early days of our marriage we did have some fun with a camera during a sexy interlude. May Evan's good fortune continue.

  15. This looks like a terrific job well done for some of the same reasons I spank aj except I want him as punishment to have to redress from his feet up. Keep up the excellent work.

  16. My wife broke a plastic hairbrush over my bottom more of THAT! It was a tad embrassing when I had to go with her to the beauty supply shop where we picked out a new, wooden one. The clerk kept watching us as she would sort of smack the wooden part on her hand, ignoring the brush blushing face probably gave us away! Keep up the good work!

    Mark, a spanked panty boy

  17. As I mentioned previously, I prefer to use a paddle. However, I find a hairbrush to be the best implement to use when travelling.

    Also, in Summer, my husband swims for exercise, so I sometimes spank with the hairbrush instead of the paddle so I can keep the redness confined to the center of his buttocks preventing the redness from being seen on the outline of his Speedo swimtrunks.


  18. Thanks again to all of you who leave more comments.

    Jayne's master: I was going to ask the readers out there about how to do better photo editing, because I don't like my current method: It's too labor-intensive. I have heard that photo-shop is a good way to go. I may get a program like that.

    John R: So far, the only way that we have photographed our sessions is by setting up a camera on a table, and then staying within the view-finder of the camera. However, I have considered bringing in a third party to film it better. I would like to get better shots sometime (just for ourselves).

    Widgets / Rachel: I didn't quite understand the comment about getting your husband to redress from his feet up. But thanks for the comment, in any case.

    Anonymous: I don't know why it would be embarrassing to buy a hairbrush at a beauty supply shop, even if I were smacking it on my hand when I was buying it. Evan wouldn't be bothered by that, because he knows most people don't care what other people are up to.

    But if it excites you, then more power to you! Have fun with your wife.

    Anonymous 2 (Sue): By your description, I think my paddles are very different from yours. My paddles are pretty much the same size as hairbrushes, just heavier (solid wood). I can get very good aim with these, just as good as any hairbrush. I also do have some big paddles, but they are not for over the knee. More on those later, in some later post.

    Thanks always for commenting. I really like to get some women involved, if possible. This is a co-ed activity after all.

  19. Deirdre,

    The paddle I use on my husband is 18" long, the handle being 6" and the spanking area 12" and 4" wide. It covers both buttocks simultaneoulsy when I use it. My hairbrush ony hits an isolated area one cheek at a time.

    Another wife I correspond with suggested using a wooden spoon as an implement that restricts redness, something I plan to try later.


  20. Deirdre,

    I admire how matter-of-fact you are about your preferences as a disciplinarian. I get the sense that you are very comfortable, and that you feel natural as a disciplinarian.


  21. Deirdre:
    When I discipline aj he has to be totally naked, that is what I meant by my comment. After corner time I may allow him to get dressed or not. He must apologize for his bad behavior.

    1. When I begin he is in panties. When I finish they're at his thighs and he's in the corner. Eventually he spends the rest ofvthecday in skirt and blouse and keeping his tampon in

  22. A long-handled bath brush is even more effective than a hairbrush and can be purchased at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Once you've used it, it will probably become your favorite instrument. It allows for a hard swing like a paddle but the surface is like a hairbrush.

    1. I prefer the hairbrush. I'm closer and it feels more intimate. Love watching his cheeks turn red up close andvpersonal