tommy's drawings

Hi all:

Here's a blog that Evan likes: http://tommysptoriginalart.blogspot.com

Evan likes Tommy's drawings, because the themes appeal to him: young men, being forced to accept a spanking from women in a position of authority. He also likes the fact that in the drawings, many of these men have erections before they are to get spanked (just like Evan).

I think this is a familiar theme for Evan: the boy / man wants to be spanked at some level, because it's exciting, deep down. So he gets an erection at the thought of the potential spanking. But when it happens, the spanking is much harder than in his fantasies, and he cries and loses control.

Thanks, Tommy, for your pictures! Keep up the good work.

Deirdre

Evan otk

Here are some shots from near the end of the spanking that I had posted pictures of recently. His bottom was bright red at the end of this one.

This one hurt a lot: around the corner. I got a good reaction from that smack.



He is crossing his legs to try to keep in position, which is ok with me. As long as he stays there, then the spanking will end after he takes enough hard spanks well. If he moves around too much, then none of that time counts.



Done for now. Off he climbs, with a nice red bottom.


And I can see that I have done a good job on spanking away his erection.


All the best to all of you.

Deirdre.

going through airport security with my wooden paddle

Evan and I were traveling over the holidays by plane, and I had an interesting exchange with a security agent at airport security, before boarding a plane. I put my purse through the scanner, and in my purse was my handy paddle, pictured below. (I usually carry this with me in my purse.)

No one has asked about my paddle before, so I was a little surprised when a security agent (a woman about my age, maybe 30 years old) took it out of my purse and asked me what it was. I could see she had no idea what it was. To her, I bet it looked like a hairbrush with no brush. Or maybe a sex toy. I don't know.

I didn't hesitate in telling her that it was a spanking paddle. She looked at me with a confused look, and so I told her "Don't worry, only my husband is in danger." She seemed surprised by this answer, but she took it in stride, and laughed. She then gave me my purse, and that was that.

Unfortunately, Evan didn't see or hear this exchange first-hand, because he was already through security by this point. I told him about it, but he didn't get to experience the embarrassment of being outed as my spanked husband in public. But I am confident that it will happen again soon.

10 hard vs. 30 medium hard

Evan was being a pain today, so I gave him a nice short spanking. It's been a while, so he wasn't so keen on going over my lap, because it seems to hurt him more after long periods of no spanking. So I gave him a choice: 10 as hard as I could, or 30 medium hard. I strongly recommended the 30 option. I sat on our green ottoman, and had Evan drop his pants beside me, then pulled him across my lap. He wisely chose the 30 option. He made a lot of noise throughout the 30 spanks, even though I was going very easy on him (except for the last 2, when I let him have it). Order has now been restored, and we are happily back to work. It is amazing how a few spanks can go a long way.

Consuming his own semen

Hi everyone:

I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving holiday. Evan and I had a busy time with family, and now we are happy to relax for a few days.

Back now to female-dominant elements of a sexual relationship. Another element of our sexual relationship that Evan introduced (that I really enjoy) is that often when Evan ejaculates, he collects it in a little shot glass, and then drinks it. Years ago, he thought that this was an exciting fantasy: to be forced to drink his own semen. He had masturbated on his own for many years, and had never consumed it on his own, but the idea of being forced to do so excited him. He had even mentioned this to an ex-girlfriend, but she didn't identify with the fantasy -- she thought it was weird -- so he didn't pursue it.

Evan raised this idea with me early on in our relationship, and I liked it very much. I think he was surprised by my reaction. Personally, I don't see why anyone would be bothered by this fantasy. It's seems harmless and fun. (I actually used to like the taste of semen: I used to swallow Evan's semen when we were dating. Now, I hardly ever do this. Whereas I would still be happy to do it if it excited Evan, I like the relationship we have now.) Sometimes when Evan comes inside me, I will have him lick it out: that feels nice (a "creampie"). More often however, I will have Evan masturbate into a shot glass while I watch him, gently stroking his balls until he orgasms (he is very sensitive under there). As soon as he comes, I have him drink it: it is a great show to watch. Although the idea still excites him before he comes, he hates the idea as soon as he has orgasmed. But we have made a pact whereby he always drinks it, so he does so, reluctantly. It is funny to watch because he dislikes it so much. I find it both exciting (I love watching him masturbate) and funny!

Here are a few photos of Evan getting his bottom warmed.

This first photo is me telling Evan to point his toes away, and relax his bottom in preparation for the spanking.

This next shot is already quite a few spanks in, as you can see his bottom is becoming pink.



I have noticed in watching the videos of his spankings that it takes a while for his bottom to become red. That is, even if I spank very hard for a minute, it takes another minute or two for his bottom to redden. So I can spank him for 30 seconds hard, and wait, and then in a couple of minutes his bottom will be all red.

Here, Evan is starting to kick and squirm. He is saying things like "It hurts, it hurts!"



And here he is stretching his legs out in response to my telling him to keep them down.



I will post more of these later.

Talk to you soon,

Deirdre.

Guiding my husband's penis between my thighs before a spanking

As you all know, Evan is often erect before a spanking. You also probably know that I like it this way: I love looking at and touching his erect penis. I then like to spank the erection out of him. Here is another photo of Evan getting across my lap, with an erection.

And here I guide him between my thighs.


Now I get to work. It won't take long before the erection is completely gone.


More later,

D.

Our spanking life is a journey, not a goal

This sounds cliche, but my life with Evan is a journey. There are no goals in this journey, but there is one basic rule: we love, respect and support each other, no matter what. I realize that this rule isn't a very spanking-oriented rule, but it applies to our spanking life as well as other parts of our life together.

The reason that I am saying this is that I often get asked how often I spank Evan and why don't I spank him more, or for some particular infraction. The answer to this kind of query is that you are thinking of our relationship wrong. There is no target number of spankings for us. We have tried this kind of thinking for our relationship in the past, but it creates additional unnecessary stress. By creating artificial goals, one will be disappointed if one does not achieve the goals. So we have adapted our spanking relationship over the years so that we have no goals other than to love, respect and support each other, no matter how many times I spank Evan. Sometimes it will be two or even three times in a single week. More typically, it will be once in a month or so. We do however many we do, and we greatly enjoy each other through all of them. It is this feeling of happiness resulting from being together that's the main reward for us, not meeting some arbitrary target number of spankings.

Having said all this, I identify with the comment from an anonymous reader, who yesterday said the following:

"Great to see you back!!! I've checked almost daily. My lady and I are considering a more formal spanking arrangement, where I have to agree to be spanked for certain offenses, and I have to give her some latitude. There will be times when I won't agree or am not in the mood to be spanked, but it's a matter of take it, or end the spanking relationship. I don't get to choose when I'm to be spanked. I'm a bit afraid of this, in a "normal" everyday relationship. I am headstrong, myself. I believe in fairness, and what if I really resent the implication that I am "wrong", when I fully believe I am not? I get to be spanked for it, regardless? I'm wondering how you, or others, handle this. It's one thing to fantasize about this kind of relationship; putting it into real-world practice is another. Ego's are involved. And emotions. Tread carefully, I suppose, huh..."

I have run into exactly this issue with Evan. He and I are both stubborn, and we are often sure that we are right, when we get into a disagreement. Neither one of us is good at letting the other have their way. In a spanking relationship, one would think that I should be allowed to make the decisions in these difficult situations. Eventually, maybe I will be able to have this control. And over time, it is more the case. We think it is a mistake to have ultimatums like "take it, or end the spanking relationship", as the commenter suggests. Both of us like what we get out of our spanking relationship, so why throw it away if we have a hard time agreeing at times? Over time, Evan is gradually becoming more submissive, and I have become more relaxed in my dominance. For us, we think that this is the solution. No ultimatums: just enjoy each other for who we are.

Here is a nice picture of contact. I probably enjoyed this when it happened more than Evan did.

Thanks for all the comments and the email

I am very pleased to have received so much positive feedback since I resumed blogging. I appreciate all the kind things that you all have written to me, either in the comments section or in email to me. Most importantly, please know that I really appreciate every one of your comments. Even if it's just a couple of words of support, somehow it's much better to receive those positive words of support than to receive nothing. (All of you bloggers will understand what I mean.) Logically, I know that many people are reading my blog -- I see the numbers on the counter -- but somehow that little bit of feedback makes a world of difference in bringing me back to keep writing. So even if you have written to me before, don't ever feel that your comments aren't useful: they are. (Except of course the few people who are demanding or rude! Perhaps the three of you can go and write your own blog.)

I will be back soon with more contentful topics. I have a few things brewing that I want to run by Evan first before I post anything.

Talk to you soon,

D.

ps. Here is an obligatory picture of my husband's ass. (Now there's a sentence that I am not used to writing.)

more otk for Evan

Hi all:

Thank you very much for all the kind comments. I am glad that you like my blog so much.

Here are a couple more shots of the otk spanking I gave Evan in the last photo set. If remember, I actually had him play with himself so that he had a nice big erection before we started the spanking. Then I had him place himself over my knee. You can see me maneuver his erection between my thighs. (I love gripping it with my hands and legs!)




(Sorry about the poor quality.) Some people have asked if Evan ever orgasms across my lap, with his erection between my thighs. The answer is definitely no. There are two reasons for this. First, he needs a lot of stimulation before he orgasms. And second, the spanking eliminates his erection fast. A few hard smacks with the paddle, and there is nothing to squeeze down between my thighs anymore: he shrinks back to his small soft state.

Then I started the spanking:




You can see that Evan squirms around when he is over my lap, without fail. I mostly like his squirming: it provides a strong cue that I am doing a good job. But it is sometimes a little annoying. Once he nearly kicked me in the nose. I spanked extra hard after that. He doesn't want to get me mad when he's over my knee!


Anyway, that's all for now. I think I will talk about some other issues in upcoming blog posts.

Happy spanking! Especially you women who like to spank your men. Remember, they may say they don't want it, but they need it. Always keep in mind that they asked for this treatment. Give it to them as hard as you can. It's good for them! They will thank you later. (And if they don't thank you, then something is wrong.)

back from hiatus

Hi everyone:

If you follow my blog, then you will know that I have been away for a while. It was June when I posted last: that's 5 months ago. Time goes by quickly, especially when you are busy!

There are two related reasons why I haven't posted for so long. One is that Evan and I have been very busy at work during this time. And the second is that we haven't engaged in much spanking activity in this time. We haven't given up on spanking: we have just been concentrating on other things in recent months.

Occasionally I get emails asking about our use of otk spankings vs. tying Evan down on the bench. Some people are even shocked that I restrain Evan on the bench. (For example, like this recent comment: "I am surprised that a guy would put up with restraints--from his own wife-- ... If I had to be restrained--I just would not do it---Its just too much --just my experience".) I respond to this comment: to each, their own. Evan is not "putting up" with my tying hm to the bench: he is a willing volunteer. In fact, the bench was a gift from him to me. If he didn't want it, he wouldn't have got it for us.

Evan is a complex man. As I have said before, he loves the idea of being spanked, but he hates it when the spanking is happening. The conflict is that the idea that excites him includes the spankings being very hard, beyond his control. He is excited by the idea of kicking and crying as he is spanked by a dominating figure (me!). By definition, it's not something that he can enjoy when it's happening. Having him restrained on the spanking bench allows him to live that fantasy. If he is over my knee when I spank him hard, he just moves out of the way: he is unable to hold himself in position because it hurts him a lot.

I hope to get back to more regular spankings in the coming months and consequently some more posting here. There are still some other topics that I can discuss too.

Please feel free to drop me a line or leave a comment to let me know you are reading.

Here are a couple of pictures from a spanking I gave him a while ago (the one that followed my teasing him in my last post).

hiatus

Hi all:

I will be taking a hiatus from blogging for a while. Have a good summer, everyone!

love to all,

D.

answering comments about the bench and the strap

Hi everyone:

Thank you all very much for reading and commenting on my posts. I always read the comments with interest, and I am sorry that I don't respond to all of them right away. I will respond to some of your recent comments here:

Linda asks: "You've mentioned that you have to talk Evan into going on the bench sometimes. However, it looks like he is aroused when he is on it. Does he get aroused before you secure him to it, or is the arrousal a result of your handy-work before the spanking begins?"

Evan is usually not aroused as I am strapping him to the bench. I think the anxiety of getting a hard spanking stops him from being aroused. However, once he is strapped down, I will often play with his penis and balls to get him excited before I start spanking him. That's what happened during the bench spanking that I posted pictures of.

Barb says:
"... your blog and photos make me want to purchase a bench, so I can provide an erotic mix of pleasure and pain to him at my discretion. How much fun it will be to tease his penis and balls, while instructing him that if he climaxes he'll receive a good dose of the lexan (which he hates)."

I have never had Evan climax while he was on the bench. That's something I would like to do eventually. In particular, I would like to try to masturbate him with one hand, and then start to spank him with my hairbrush-sized paddle with the other hand once he starts to climax. I think that a minute of that treatment would be hard for him to take, maybe harder than anything I have done yet. Some day I would like to try this.

Eric says:

"Why don't you just put his junk to the front? When I had to get a switching or a whipping with the belt I had to place my parts on top of the couch and bend over with legs spread so the inside of the thighs was available. Let me tell you, I still remember them well. I would suggest that you have Evan assume a position, like bent over, and then hold still for his whipping, with penalties for not keeping still. I would think that sooner or later he would learn to hold still and take it."

There are two reasons that I don't put Evan's "junk" (as you say) in the front. First, the bench is not really designed to have him lie on top of his "junk". If he does so, his balls still stick out, because the bench spreads his legs well. Second, I like the view of his penis when I am spanking him on the bench. And it gives me an excellent barometer as to his level of sexual excitement. When his penis is fully retracted, I know I am doing a good job of spanking him.

But your suggestion of having Evan hold still for a caning / strapping, with penalties for moving is a good one. We haven't really done that before, but I could see us doing that sometime in the future.

An anonymous commenter says the following:

"And I see that your wearing pearls. Maybe you aren't really trying all that hard? Good to see you here sharing your life with the rest of us. Thank you."

I actually don't know what this commenter is talking about. (The bracelet that I was wearing in the photos is not pearls, by the way.) But why would the jewelry I am wearing have some contingency on whether I am trying? And what is the activity that I am not trying to do? This was a confusing comment. Perhaps it was lost in a translation.

freecroma10 says:

"How he tolerates the beating? Does he keep silent or wailing because of the pain under the strapping? Does he has to count the blows and has to say thanks for them possibility?"

Evan is rarely silent during a spanking / strapping. He tries to be quiet, but he can't help but yell out when it really hurts him. So I use his noise level as a second barometer (in addition to the size of his erection) to tell how hard I should spank. I like it when he is loud: that lets me know that I am doing a good job.

Regarding your second question, I used to have Evan count some strokes, but I rarely do that anymore. I find that if he can count the strokes, then it's usually not hurting enough. I find it more satisfying when he loses control and he has no idea how many strokes have come or are to come yet.

Another anonymous commenter asks the following:
"Question-is he getting spanked for some transgression or just because?"

Mostly just because. We used to do spankings based on transgressions, but I find it's generally better to do it just because I like it, and it's good for him. Some people call these "maintenance spankings". I think that that's what these are for us too, but they are very intense when they are on the bench.

Another anonymous commenter asks the following:

"Who takes the photos?"

As I have mentioned before, the photos are stills from videos that we take by setting up a video player at a fixed distance. We have not had a third party film us yet, although I would like to do this sometime, if we could find a photographer that we liked and trusted.

John R asks:

"Lovely, but can we see more of you, especially how you are dressed? Do you dress specially for Evan's punishments? My wife often puts on a severe outfit, which is appropriate for the occasion."

Most of the time, I don't dress specially to spank Evan. When I want to spank him, it doesn't matter what I am wearing (or what he is wearing, because it's coming off). But once in a while I will wear something extra sexy to seduce him into taking a good spanking.

That's it for now. I will write more in another week or so. I hope your summer is going well, as mine is.

To close, here are a couple of pictures of Evan right before an otk spanking. As you can see he was erect before this one. In this case, I let him touch himself for a minute or so before I pulled him over my knee for his spanking. (He was not permitted to orgasm before or after the spanking that day.)



Talk to you all later,

D.

more of the strap

Hi all:

Thanks for all the feedback. I will respond to some of your notes very soon.

Two of you asked where to get a bench like the one we have: here's what I said about this earlier:

(from http://spankingmyhusband.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html#5692076394057255877)
"I have had some emails asking where we got the spanking bench. Evan bought this for me at http://www.bdgsales.com/bench.html for around $400 a few years ago. This is a very well-built bench. Evan is over 200 lbs, and the bench holds him very easily with no visible wear and tear, even after many uses. We haven't tried possible competitor benches, so we don't know if our bench is either the best value or the best quality out there. But it has served us very well, and so we definitely recommend it."

For now, here are a few more pictures of Evan receiving a strapping. This is a heavy 3-tailed tawse. In the first photo, Evan gets a solid strap across his right cheek:

And in the next photo, Evan gets a hard strap across his left cheek:


Then back to the right:


Then back to the left, where the three tails of the tawse are clearly visible:

These last two shots catch Evan just across his bottom crack, snapping hard on the inside of his right cheek. This is a spot that is hard to get with a paddle. He says these hurt a great deal.


This last one catches him almost in the crack. You can still see the ripple on his right cheek.


That's all of Evan's strapping for now. I will write more later.

D.

the strap applied to Evan's bottom

Hi all:

Thanks for your comments and suggestions regarding my experience with caning.

As some of you noted, when Evan is strapped to our spanking bench, his legs are well apart. This provides me with a lovely view of his penis and balls, but it also means that unless I am very confident in my aim, the cane isn't a very safe instrument. That is, I can't swing as hard as I want on each stroke, for fear that I might strike Evan's balls. Consequently, I prefer a paddle or a strap when Evan is strapped to our bench, because I have much better control of these implements. I can therefore swing fully with them.

Following much of your advice, I will practice my caning on Evan, with him bent over, off the bench.

Here are a few photos of Evan receiving the strap following the caning that he received earlier. I can swing the strap more fully than the cane, and consequently, Evan reports that it hurts a great deal more. This is a heavy three-tailed tawse, which is satisfying to swing. It makes lovely ripples on Evan's bottom:

In the photo above, you can still see that Evan has the traces of his earlier erection. But by the next couple of strokes, his penis has withdrawn fully, much to my satisfaction.

Here is a photo of an impact, followed by the ripples immediately after:


Evan definitely felt that one.

More later. Please keep the comments and discussion going.

Deirdre.

More of caning Evan

Happy Sunday:

Here are the rest of my photos of Evan receiving caning while on the bench.

As I said earlier, I don't like the cane as well as other implements, because I am not as accurate with it. When I am using the cane, I can't swing as hard as I like and be confident of my aim. The strokes in the pictures below look nice on impact, but weren't as hard as paddle or strap strokes that I typically give.


In any case, they still hurt Evan a lot. After few strokes, his erection gets a lot smaller, as you can see.



In this last photo, you can see that Evan's erection has shrunk a lot. That is actually an impact shot, where the cane has bounced off of Evan's bottom.

Perhaps some of my difficulty in wielding a cane is due to the specific light-ish canes that I have. Perhaps with a heavier, less whippy, cane, I would have less trouble aiming. I may eventually get a less whippy cane. What do people who use canes recommend? Your feedback would be appreciated, especially if you have experience with canes and you know where to obtain them.

Have a great weekend,

D.

caning away an erection

Dear all:

Thank you for all your kind comments on my two most recent posts. I am glad that you like the photo of Evan with a large erection, over the bench. I like this photo too. One female commenter hypothesized that that no woman could resist reaching for Evan's penis in that position. I am no exception to this claim. I love touching and holding Evan's erection when it is displayed in that position. And even though I am dominant, I can't resist putting Evan's erection in my mouth every once in a while when it is presented so well on the bench. It is such a delicious piece of fruit.

In any case, part of the fun of getting Evan in that state is getting him out of that state. For most couples, this means giving your partner an orgasm. For us, it means I am going to spank and cane Evan hard, until his erection dissipates.

Here is one of the first cane strokes:


Note that Evan is still pretty erect in this photo. He stays pretty erect through these first few strokes.


He really yowled after the stroke above. I infer that wrapping the cane to the thighs is quite painful. Does this mean that I will stop striking there? Of course not. Precisely the opposite:


Look at all the lovely ripples. I think I am doing a good job. You can also tell that Evan isn't enjoying himself (or is he?) by the way his body is gyrating as much as it can within the confines of the tight straps. You can see his bottom shift to the left or right, and you can see his shoulders rise as much as they can.


More later...

D.