Sunday, May 30, 2010

More of caning Evan

Happy Sunday:

Here are the rest of my photos of Evan receiving caning while on the bench.

As I said earlier, I don't like the cane as well as other implements, because I am not as accurate with it. When I am using the cane, I can't swing as hard as I like and be confident of my aim. The strokes in the pictures below look nice on impact, but weren't as hard as paddle or strap strokes that I typically give.

In any case, they still hurt Evan a lot. After few strokes, his erection gets a lot smaller, as you can see.

In this last photo, you can see that Evan's erection has shrunk a lot. That is actually an impact shot, where the cane has bounced off of Evan's bottom.

Perhaps some of my difficulty in wielding a cane is due to the specific light-ish canes that I have. Perhaps with a heavier, less whippy, cane, I would have less trouble aiming. I may eventually get a less whippy cane. What do people who use canes recommend? Your feedback would be appreciated, especially if you have experience with canes and you know where to obtain them.

Have a great weekend,



  1. Ma’am,

    Amazing pictures! I’d say you have quite some expertise in caning and cannot really understand why you said earlier you didn’t like the cane very much. I’d understand Evan not liking it, lol. Just to satisfy my curiosity: how many strokes did you give him on that session and was that on top of earlier paddle strokes?

    Wrapping the cane around the thighs IS very painful for the recipient. Cane purists frown upon it, but it is effective and that is what punishment is about. My wife never shies from a bit of wrapping.

    It is certainly true that thicker heavier canes are easier to control than thin whippy ones. The pain they cause is quite different, but both are painful in their own way if used efficiently. My wife uses thick ones and slim ones – I dread them all! The thick one is a so called Dragon Cane, about 36” long and maybe 12 millimetres thick. It has a suede wrapped handle to certify a firm grip (if there is no grip as in the case of your cane on the pictures, wearing a tight leather glove is helpful; pulling it on demonstratively can also increase the ‘bad boy’s’ apprehension). I think we got it from

    Once again I’d like to complement you on your blog. It’s one of the best (if not THE best) I’ve ever seen!


  2. Well done, and you really do give a good caning!

    A heavier cane will certainly help and you should really try it, but in the end practice makes perfect and you must ensure that you get enough of it - perhaps half the caning withthis cane and the balance with the heavier one - then you will be even better at caning him.

  3. Wow, well caned I would say, again thanks for sharing. As I said not a cane fan but love the attention to detail you take! Enjoy and thanks as always for the blog.

    You as well have a nice weekend, second spectacular day here in north NJ.

    Be well



  4. Practice, practice, practice. Anything worth doing is worth doing well and practice is the way to get better. As my piano teacher said, "The piano doesnlt play itself." Regular practice sessions will give you the confidence to "close the gate." (Five evenly placed horizontal tracks from center to bottom of the bottom that turn a deep purple with white center followed by one diagonal stroke that crosses all five.) Practice, practice, practice!



  5. Deirdre-
    Great post and love the pix of Even getting a caning from you!

    I have attended several seminars on caning and have experience which spans a couple of decades. Canes are very interesting devices. First, they all have a natural 'resonance'. If you flick it up and down with your wrist, you may see some interesting things. First it may go up and down, or wildly go in all directions. If you turn the handle a few degrees and try again, you may find the 'natural plane' of the cane. If you cane Evan with the cane oriented in this 'plane' you will probably gain much more control. Second, your cane may be too long. Again, if you flick it up and down (in its natural plane) you may find that there is a 'node' an inch or two from the end. This is where there is little up and down motion. Its like if you tie a length of rope and flick it up and down. The rope will have a natural frequency where there is a node at your hand, a node where its tie off and the middle forms a wave that moves up and down. Now, if you increase the frequency you will see two 'waves' and the middle of the rope is not moving up and down. This is what you are looking for. I know its hard to consider, but you might think about cutting your cane at this point. I think that many who are into the caning 'thing' probably have several in their collection.

    I know thats alot of detail but hope it gives you some insite. Caning is an interesting topic with many 'rituals' associated with it (six of the best, etc) that is part of what makes it so erotic (hurts so good!).


  6. Speaking personally, the cane is certainly my favourite implement (and I would very much like to see more photos of you using it on Evan!).

    The reason it is my favourite however is only in part to do with the sensation it imparts - for me it is nearly all psychological. Allow me to explain.

    There are, I think, two primary reasons for my thinking this:

    1) I find OTK spanking a little disturbing because to me (and I stress this is purely my opinion - and I completely respect your right to do whatever suits you) this is redolent of mother / child discipline and I do not in any way think of my wife in that manner.

    2) The cane itself has powerful disciplinary connotations. A riding crop or whip is used for controlling animals, straps and paddles have many other uses, but a cane... The only possible use for a cane is for punishment and discipline.

    When my wife flexes her cane it says, she is the head of the household and she is about to remind me of that fact.

    As Ken says above, there are so many rituals associated with caning - "bend over", "6 of the best" etc. and all of these - even without the pain of the strokes - are designed to reinforce just who is in charge - and that's you!

    Keep it up. As other have said - "Practice, practice, practice!"

    Don't get a very heavy cane, they can be a bit "thuddy" and leave deep bruising, but a medium weight one may well be better than a very whippy one for you. Fewer strokes - but "hard" strokes are better ("Six of the best" - each one leaving a lasting mark are preferable to 100 flicky stokes). Try tying a pillow or cushion to the back of a chair and using that to practice your aim and get your arm really swinging.

    Above all - keep up the good work! The world needs more disciplinary wives!

    Thank you!

    Steve T

  7. I have none of the experience of the other readers who commented, so I'll just add what I found in my searches online. Some people like claim to like an intense caning experience from a fiberglass, nylon, or lexan cane. Some people say they have more control and last longer. Not as romantic as rattan or other natural materials, but might be worth a try. I've read of some canings being done by pulling the tip back and letting it snap against the skin, instead of swinging the cane through the air. It allows for precise control. Also, I saw a book that might be worth a read "Canes and Caning" by Janet Hardy. If you don't have a favorite site to buy items, you might at least look at Stockroom for a start.

  8. Deidre,

    I discovered your blog only last week, and I absolutely love it. Please keep writing -- I'm especially enjoying your frank and honest discussion of your relationship with Evan (and the part spanking plays in it). You sound like like a very special couple, lucky to have found each other, and I really appreciate your taking the time to share something that most people keep, sadly, very private.

    I'm in an similar, but reversed, relationship. I've been happily spanking my wife of over a decade since almost immediately after we meet. Like you, we started out "switching", but have evolved where I'm the sexually dominant one and disciplinarian. Several aspects of our play style, and how we relate it sex, seem similar to yours and Evan's.

    Anyway, you asked about the cane. Let me echo what other posters said and emphasize practice, practice, practice. Caning is a skill, and it takes time to master, but you can master it. It's an excellent idea to practice on a pillow positioned where Evan's rear will be. The cane will leave a clear indentation in the pillow, so you can easily see how close to your mark you've hit, and experiment with positioning your body, etc. A very whippy, flexy cane is indeed harder to control than a thicker one, though yours (from the photos) doesn't seem all THAT thin. Are you using just your wrist or your arm? It's hard to tell from the photos, but it looks like you may be using just your wrist, which can make it harder to aim for some people.

    I'm concerned about Evan's position, with his legs open and penis and scrotum exposed, for caning. It looks as if his penis actually protrudes behind his legs (which is impressive, I'd never be able to bend my erect member back that far!). In this position, if you miss your mark (and even very experienced caners do miss sometimes), you could cause real, even permanent damage to a part of Evan's anatomy that you both probably care quite a bit about. The "classic" caning position is with the legs less open and the genitals protected. You might consider ways to position him differently when you intend you wield the cane on him.

    Also, how quickly to you cane him? A good (hard) cane stroke unleashes several waves of sensation, and can take 20-30 seconds or more to process. If you cane more quickly than that, you might be depriving him of much some of the more exquisite pain associated with this kind of punishment (or causing more physical damage to achieve the equivalent amount of pain). I like to give P. one (hard) stroke every 45 seconds to a minute, which not only lets the waves of pain propagate through her body and mind, it also leaves time for anticipation (and dread) of the next stroke to build before its delivered. (P. is sticking her tongue out at me as I type this).

    (Some like to give lighter, but very fast, strokes, which causes pain to build up, and that can be fun, too).

    Anyway, thanks for a terrific blog! You've make both of us hot, and you've made me just a bit jealous of Evan's wonderful predicament, too (I'm not all top, evidently)..

  9. Also, the canemaker I usually buy from is . She uses a rather different kind of rattan, polished with the bark removed, so they're very straight and fairly easy to control. They're available in a variety of lengths and thicknesses. Her birches are also great fun (for me at least, P. may have a different opinion). (I have no connection with canes4pain, except as a customer).


  10. Very interesting blog and replies. I am not sure that a bench is the best place to cane. My wife makes me lie across our bed with a pillow under my tummy. This is by far the easiest method and the caner becomes very accurate, and can use much more force if she wishes to, but the snap of a wrist is just as good as a wild arm swing! Best wishes to both the caner and the caned.

  11. Deirdre,
    you will find canes available on ebay. I bought a set of 3 of different thicknesses for a very reasonable price. You will need to decide whether you prefer straight or crook handles.
    Whilst you are waiting for delivery take a look at NuWest Leda. They have clips available on line that can help you improve your technique. You could get Evan to buy a download so he can see what he can expect when your canes arrive.
    Once I had my canes I had my husband put on his tightest jeans (no boxers underneath) and had him bent over the back of a dining chair. This elevated the target area and ensured the jeans were skin tight.
    I then gave him 6 of the best with the lightest cane. The he had to get up, drop the jeans and show his cheeks so I could check for marks. Once I had good clear lines visible I repeated the process with the next cane until I was satisified that I was getting the right results.
    I repeated this every day for a week - practice does improve your skill.
    Now I cane him weekly. 6 with each cane on the jeans and then 6 with each on the bare. This is just to keep up my skill level. If he needs discipline this merits additional caning.
    For maximum effect I suggest 6 with the cane to raise some wheals. A wooden paddle on the wheals will soon have Evan squeeling. He will need 6 with each cane of course.
    Good caning.

  12. Great supplier of canes, paddles, etc is Cane-aic. like: better than a super walmart for selection :)

  13. Hi Evan and Dierdre. I have followed your blog for some time, I have never posted before and only joined up, got account etc just now so I could comunicate with you both. I have a relationship with my significant other that includes a strong domestic discipline component. I am a rather alpha ish male in a traditional outdoors occupation and this is dark and secret life.
    I recently completed a spanking bench as close to the one you use as I could make it. We have a soundproof room in which it sits. Similiar to Evan, I genuinely dread but also cannot turn away from, the experience I have when secured and paddled on my desparate bum.
    I yell and scream and beg, when its over, I am shaking like a leaf. My partner is very into this. We have an ongoing conumdrum around the subject of who actually controls this. I want it and bug her for it, but try and talk her out of it by any means as the time approaches. I really want her to be totally incharge and unflinchingly severe when the time comes. Any thoughts you might have would be appreciated.
    Meanwhile. I hearty hello from two fellow travellers