Sunday, May 9, 2010

the function of spanking

Hi all:

Happy mothers day to all of you. I just talked to my mom, and Evan already talked to his mom too. Someday I hope that we will have children of our own. (But when we do, I will probably stop blogging: I understand that lives change with children.)

I get a lot of questions about how often I spank Evan, and why. As I have mentioned before, we don't have a regular schedule: I do it when the time is right, which is mostly when I feel like it.

For us, the function of the spanking is not to correct something in Evan. I spank Evan (1) because I like to do it; and (2) because he needs it (although he doesn't tell me so anymore). There is some need in him to be taken over my knee or over the bench, and to be spanked long and hard, past his comfort zone. I can tell that he feels better after a spanking. As for me, I enjoy pushing him hard: it makes me feel close to him, to give him something that no one else can give him. The spankings bring us closer emotionally.

I have also been asked how I decide to spank over the knee vs. on the bench. That question is easier to answer: it is much more convenient to spank over the knee, so we mostly do that. The bench involves a serious time and emotional investment for both of us, because, as you have seen, I spank pretty hard over the bench. Consequently, I will most often spank Evan over my knee.

People have also asked if I take Evan with a strap-on on the bench. Mostly not. I do occasionally take Evan with a strap-on, but I do that to him in our bed, in the evening. There is no need to tie him down for receiving anal sex: he can remain in position without much difficulty. It's always a bit difficult for him to relax to receive the dildo, but once he does relax, he takes it pretty well. He says that it's overwhelming to be taken in the bottom, but not painful (except a little bit initially).

I have also been asked if I will let Evan spank me for the camera. The answer to this question is definitely not. As I mentioned in our early bio, I let Evan spank me a few times in the early part of our relationship, and I hated it. The spanking hurt a lot (even though Evan used only his hand), and I didn't like the loss of control at all. Consequently, you won't ever see me getting spanked. I am much happier giving than receiving.

Finally, I have been asked if I might pose nude for you all. Unfortunately, no. Although I am proud of my body, posing naked for you feels too submissive to me, in this forum. I like to be the one in control, so I will only show you some limited views of my body. However, I will provide you with a view of my rear end. Evan adores my bottom, and he would like to have been able to keep spanking me. Now he worships my bottom, but never does it any harm.

Until later,



  1. Evan is a fortunate man on so many levels.

  2. Nice post, I have always had a fantasy of getting a nice spanking on mother's day, oh well, someday.

    I think the picture is beyond increcible but love your comment about being "nude". Gave me chills.

    Thanks and have a wonderful day.


  3. Oh by the way, your husband is truly a lucky man, enjoy what sounds like a great relationship.


  4. Agree that your husband is a fortunate man, but I would also say that you too are fortunate for having met a partner who is willing to accept what you obviously enjoy dishing out. I like that you're describing a mutually beneficial relationship, each fulfilling each other's needs.

    I am curious whether the use of the strap-on is something you feel reinforces your power or is it a need that you're fulfilling in Evan? My spouse will use a strap-on at times, but never in conjunction with a spanking.

    Kudos for keeping views of yourself limited in this forum. I think it is wise, and also helps preserve the mystery for your readers. Clearly you are someone who takes good care of her body, as evidenced by the photos you've shared thus far.

    Thanks for all the work on your blog.

  5. Thanks for sharing. I would love to hear more about your use of a strapon with Evan. What was the first time like? Was it his or your idea? Did you start small and work up? Do you make him suck it? Panties for him? I am trying to get my wife to read your blog. Again.....THANKS!

  6. I am new to your blog, and really thank you for your wonderful effort. You are both very lucky to have this special bond in your marriage. My wife and I are as well. We have a 25+ year marriage and spanking my backside has always been the central feature of our private life. It is easy to tell when on-line people are "for real" or when they are posting fantasies, and that is a feature of your postings that is most appreciated—the truthfulness. I hope you will continue to post after you and Evan have a family, because the spanking of the husband can change in purpose and character during child rearing, in very interesting ways, a sort of evolution. Certainly the opportunity for "play" is diminished, but the need for stress relief and conflict resolution will likely increase. Here is how it worked for us when we had kids at home: After the argument, and after my (eventual) apology, on the first available private time, my wife will be sure to close the loop on the problem with a hard paddling or worse. The event isn't really in the past until I have received a glowing bottom which is, in both parties' minds, the definitive closure. These arguments were not always about the kids or problems between us that dealt with the kids, but they often were, and sometimes were about hurt feelings involving my mother's mistreatment of my wife or other things somewhat external to our one-on-one relationship. And I really don't like having to be spanked hard for something I didn’t cause. But she loves me sooo much afterwards that I cannot refuse. I admit that I always have trouble staying in position when the feeling of panic sets in, but I do not refuse to take down my pants when told -- ever! I am actually terrified of the paddling, but I would be disappointed if she didn’t do it. Hard to explain. Keep up the great work!


  7. Wow! Thanks for sharing your photo and letting us see a bit more of what only Evan gets to adore! As attractive as it would be to see you pose au naturel I agree with the other commenter that it maintains the innocent mystery of the blog, and I support your reasons for not doing so.

    Thanks for everything you've shared thus far, and I'll look forward to reading more in the future each time you decide to post!

  8. Dear D.
    You are very beautiful and your husband is good luck for married with you.
    Dear, are you birching or belting your husband in his bench?
    Kiss you

  9. Greetings,

    As a first time responder I must say thank you for your refreshing blog. In my experience children will certainly change not only your blogging time, but also your focus. Finding the time and solitude needed for spanking will become very dear indeed.

    I am curious about the form of your spankings. You seem to have come from a DWC model of punishment spankings with no warmup, measuring effectiveness by Evan's immediate reactions. Have you tried other types or forms where the goal is delayed - where you seek to control his endorphine load and put him in - for lack of a better word - subspace?


  10. Great buns and great blog!

    I agree, with keeping your cloths on in photos although I would positively love to see you naked! Do you ever go to nude beaches?

    Please tell us a more about how you starting utilizing a strapon.

    Thank You!

  11. You are gorgeous!

  12. Cute butt! I hope we get to see more photos.

    Nice job on the blog, too. I's refreshing to read such a honest account.

  13. I really liked the bikini shot of you as well posted some time back. One of my most memorable spankings occurred in Cancun while my wife had her bikini on. I was erect for a good deal of the spanking until she finally spanked it out of me.


  14. Hello Deirdre,
    Evan is a very lucky man indeed! I love the photo. Those sexy cheeks poking out of the shorts. My favorite view. FANTASTIC!!! You have a gorgeous body with a most magnificent backside AND you spank! Evan has the perfect woman. Thanks for sharing your experiences and good luck to you both.


  15. Ahh another great picture lol Any chance of a picture of you sitting,thus showing your lap?

    Yes. If and when you have children, all things change.

  16. You have an extremely lovely bottom, thanks for sharing such delightful curves. Does Evan physically worship your heavenly bottom as in kissing it? Do you sit on his face with this yummy bottom? I crave the submissive feelings I get when my wife treats me to a glorious face sitting. Thanks for taking the effort to write this blog, I know it takes a lot of time and effort to do so. Having children in the house does put a crimp on the spanking lifestyle, it's hard to spank quietly.

  17. Oh Dierdre- My Gawd! What a sweet butt! :) Thank you (head bowed!) :)