More of caning Evan

Happy Sunday:

Here are the rest of my photos of Evan receiving caning while on the bench.

As I said earlier, I don't like the cane as well as other implements, because I am not as accurate with it. When I am using the cane, I can't swing as hard as I like and be confident of my aim. The strokes in the pictures below look nice on impact, but weren't as hard as paddle or strap strokes that I typically give.


In any case, they still hurt Evan a lot. After few strokes, his erection gets a lot smaller, as you can see.



In this last photo, you can see that Evan's erection has shrunk a lot. That is actually an impact shot, where the cane has bounced off of Evan's bottom.

Perhaps some of my difficulty in wielding a cane is due to the specific light-ish canes that I have. Perhaps with a heavier, less whippy, cane, I would have less trouble aiming. I may eventually get a less whippy cane. What do people who use canes recommend? Your feedback would be appreciated, especially if you have experience with canes and you know where to obtain them.

Have a great weekend,

D.

caning away an erection

Dear all:

Thank you for all your kind comments on my two most recent posts. I am glad that you like the photo of Evan with a large erection, over the bench. I like this photo too. One female commenter hypothesized that that no woman could resist reaching for Evan's penis in that position. I am no exception to this claim. I love touching and holding Evan's erection when it is displayed in that position. And even though I am dominant, I can't resist putting Evan's erection in my mouth every once in a while when it is presented so well on the bench. It is such a delicious piece of fruit.

In any case, part of the fun of getting Evan in that state is getting him out of that state. For most couples, this means giving your partner an orgasm. For us, it means I am going to spank and cane Evan hard, until his erection dissipates.

Here is one of the first cane strokes:


Note that Evan is still pretty erect in this photo. He stays pretty erect through these first few strokes.


He really yowled after the stroke above. I infer that wrapping the cane to the thighs is quite painful. Does this mean that I will stop striking there? Of course not. Precisely the opposite:


Look at all the lovely ripples. I think I am doing a good job. You can also tell that Evan isn't enjoying himself (or is he?) by the way his body is gyrating as much as it can within the confines of the tight straps. You can see his bottom shift to the left or right, and you can see his shoulders rise as much as they can.


More later...

D.

A great view

Hi everyone:

Thanks for your comments on pegging. I will say more about that discussion later.

For now, here's another picture of Evan on the bench. He's nice and erect. What a great view, don't you think? I like nothing more than tormenting Evan with a good hard paddling when he is in this state. I have some good shots of Evan getting paddled, caned, and strapped in this series.

Talk to you more later,

D.

Pegging my husband

Hi everyone:

Many men seem to be fascinated with receiving anal sex using a strap-on dildo. Evan brought this idea up with me early on in our relationship many years ago, and I was happy to oblige him. I very much enjoy putting on a dildo and "pegging" Evan, as the practice is more commonly known.

(see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_(sexual_practice) )

When I peg Evan, it is not as a punishment for anything: it's just a sexual act between us, that emphasizes my dominance and his submission. I don't think it's so different from a man having anal sex with a woman: receiving anal sex is a pleasurable submissive experience for a woman, and a pleasurable dominant experience for a man. (Evan has never performed anal sex on me: I am not against receiving anal sex in principle, but (1) Evan's penis is much too thick for my anus (I am never having that in my bottom); and (2) I prefer the dominant role in our relationship.)

When Evan first brought up the idea of getting pegged, he was a bit tentative and shy about it. But over the years, he learned not to hold in his interests and desires, and to share them with me openly. I really liked the idea of pegging Evan, because I like to sexually dominate him, and have him in positions that make him feel submissive and vulnerable.

When I want to peg Evan - probably once every month or two - I will have him give himself an enema to clean himself out, so that there is no mess during the pegging. Enemas are generally thought to be healthy for the colon. The enema I have him perform consists simply of warm water with a few drops of vinegar. He takes a large-ish enema bag full of water (perhaps 2/3 or more of a normal enema bag from the pharmacy) while kneeling in the tub, and holds it in for 5-10 minutes, depending on my whim. I will often massage his back and talk to him while the water is going in. He is very quiet and submissive at this time, as he is concentrating hard on holding the water. When all the water is in, I will leave him for his timed waiting period. When he has held the water long enough, he will release it, which can take him a while. 30-60 minutes later he is ready to be pegged.

When we are ready to start, I have him kneel on our bed, with his bottom in the air. The strap-on dildo that I use most is not a strap-on at all: it is a "feel-doe", which inserts into my pussy (see the picture below).
This is an expensive toy from http://www.feeldoe.com/, but I think it is worth it for us. I like how it feels in me, as well as in him. According to the feeldoe people, the dildo that we have (the red one above) is 6 3/4" long and 1 5/8" thick. It is therefore very similar to Evan's penis in length and thickness, although Evan is a bit thicker. I tell him that he should be willing to take a penis of the same size as he gives out, which seems fair to me.

I insert the red bulb in my pussy, and then put some lube on Evan's anus, for him to receive the red penis. It takes a couple of minutes to get his anus to relax enough to receive this thick penis. He experiences the classic responses to anal sex: tightness from initial penetration. Eventually, I will get the head in, and slowly I will start to fuck him in his bottom. He says that the experience is overwhelming. He gets no orgasm from this: just a fullness and an overwhelming out-of-control submission feeling. I enjoy having him at my mercy, begging me to go slow. As in spanking, I like pushing him to his limits, as long as he is in no sharp pain here.

I will generally start to pick up the pace, until I go for a minute or two straight, with long deep strokes, all the way in, all the way out. In these sessions I generally like to make Evan moan out of control as much as possible. This goes on for a few minutes, then I will pull out, and I will have Evan lick me to orgasm. (I can't come from a dildo in my pussy: I need clitoral stimulation, and although the feeldoe feels good, I can't come from it.)

That's about all I have to say about pegging. As I said above, pegging is not really part of our spanking domestic-discipline arrangement. It's just a little submissive sex present for Evan every couple of months.

Here's a picture of Evan on the bench, getting ready for a spanking. I have never pegged him on the bench, because pegging and the bench don't quite go together for me, at least not yet. But this is roughly the view of Evan that I have before I start pegging him. (I have no photos of my pegging Evan.)


I look forward to your comments. Talk to you more soon,

D.

the end of Evan's otk spanking

Hi everyone:

Thanks again for all the nice feedback. I am happy that you like our pictures. Here are the last few pictures from the spanking that I was writing about before. Here's me helping Evan off my lap. Note how nice and red his bottom and thighs are.


Here is Evan standing beside me post-spanking. Notice that his bottom is red, and his penis has shrunk down a lot after the spanking.

I give him one last squeeze before sending him on his way.

Talk to you all later. There are still many topics to cover: tease and denial; strap-on sex (which is fun, but not really a big deal for us); more real-life issues, like trying to get Evan to be submissive when I say so (life is complex: he has his own will, which doesn't always match mine); and issues about how others can find a female-led relationship like ours, if that's something you want. I will write more on these and other topics in later posts.

Bye for now,

Deirdre.

more of spanking evan otk

Hi all:

Thanks for continuing to comment. But please don't be rude in the comment section. Regarding my footwear, the slippers in this set of pictures are just my slippers to wear around the house. I wear nice shoes when I go out, but most of the times that I spank Evan, I am just wearing something comfortable around the house.

Mike, while I appreciate your defending my footwear, there is no need to tell the previous poster (who who like to see me wearing different shoes) to "get a life". That seems like an over-reaction to me. I do understand your point, however, and I agree with it: I will wear whatever I feel like when I am spanking Evan. But I don't think that it's necessary to be rude to other commenters in order to get this point across.

An anonymous Bob asked about the size of Evan's penis. Evan's penis is pretty large, as you can see in the photos. I have never measured it myself, but Evan tells me that it's approximately 7 inches long and 2 inches thick. Whatever its dimensions, I like it very much.

And to Jack who says, "I would love to see him spanked hard in front of a group of women!", I respond that I would happily do this, if I knew such group of women. In fact, I think I would happily spank Evan in front of men, women, or a mixed crowd, as long as I knew and trusted the people in question, and if they wanted to watch.

Here are the rest of the pictures of Evan's spanking which I started to post last time.

As you have seen before, he often squirms around when I start:

I keep going, until I can get a few long few sequences of spanks in.


This is after 30 or 40 spanks, and Evan's bottom is getting pink.

This is another 30 or more spanks later, and Evan's bottom is red.




He is finally giving up, and collapsing across my lap:

His head goes lower as he accepts his spanking.

The whole process only takes 3-5 minutes, usually under 100 or 200 spanks at most, even with pauses to talk to Evan about his behavior. A bench spanking is a much more involved event, and can take 30 minutes or more on the bench.

Please keep your comments coming. Talk to you soon,

Deirdre.

more of spanking away an erection

If Evan has a partial erection before a spanking, I can't resist grabbing it and giving it a squeeze. After a couple of quick squeezes, Evan's penis becomes erect. I may then ask Evan to play with it for a little while, before I stop him (no ejaculation for him: we practice tease and denial), and put him over my lap.

In this sequence of pictures, you can see that he is partially erect at first, and he becomes more erect with just a few touches.


That was only a few seconds of my touch. Now he goes over my lap, and I squeeze his erection between my thighs.

His toes are curled: I don't like this. I tell him to relax his feet, so that his toes are relaxed. He quickly complies.
With his feet the way I like them, I can now start spanking in earnest. I redden his bottom nicely in this sequence.


I will post more photos later.

D.

spanking my husband to tears

Hi all:

I gather that a big fantasy of people who want to be spanked is to be spanked to tears. My experience with spanking my husband Evan is that he hardly ever cries, except on rare occasions when he is being spanked for something that displeases me, and he is sad about how his behavior has hurt me or someone else in some way. Although he will yell out (a lot) from the pain of being spanked - especially over the bench - he won't cry from the pain.

I will post other pictures of him over the bench sometime soon. And I will write about some other issues that seem to keep coming up in the comments section. For now, here's another photo of me with a paddle.

Deirdre

more otk spanking for Evan

Here are a few more photos from the otk spanking that I posted earlier. I will post a more contentful blog entry soon.

Deirdre

a brief note

Thanks to all for all the kind comments regarding my bottom. Evan likes it too.

Several of you are asking about my use of a strap-on on Evan. In answer to one comment: no, Evan doesn't wear panties. I am not interested in seeing him in women's clothes, and he has shown no such inclinations himself, as far as I know. And no, I don't have Evan suck on dildos that I insert into him. This is not something that excites me.

But I do like penetrating Evan with a dildo. I will describe such an event in more detail at some point, but I don't have time right now. (It takes a while to write these descriptions.)

I will talk more later.

the function of spanking

Hi all:

Happy mothers day to all of you. I just talked to my mom, and Evan already talked to his mom too. Someday I hope that we will have children of our own. (But when we do, I will probably stop blogging: I understand that lives change with children.)

I get a lot of questions about how often I spank Evan, and why. As I have mentioned before, we don't have a regular schedule: I do it when the time is right, which is mostly when I feel like it.

For us, the function of the spanking is not to correct something in Evan. I spank Evan (1) because I like to do it; and (2) because he needs it (although he doesn't tell me so anymore). There is some need in him to be taken over my knee or over the bench, and to be spanked long and hard, past his comfort zone. I can tell that he feels better after a spanking. As for me, I enjoy pushing him hard: it makes me feel close to him, to give him something that no one else can give him. The spankings bring us closer emotionally.

I have also been asked how I decide to spank over the knee vs. on the bench. That question is easier to answer: it is much more convenient to spank over the knee, so we mostly do that. The bench involves a serious time and emotional investment for both of us, because, as you have seen, I spank pretty hard over the bench. Consequently, I will most often spank Evan over my knee.

People have also asked if I take Evan with a strap-on on the bench. Mostly not. I do occasionally take Evan with a strap-on, but I do that to him in our bed, in the evening. There is no need to tie him down for receiving anal sex: he can remain in position without much difficulty. It's always a bit difficult for him to relax to receive the dildo, but once he does relax, he takes it pretty well. He says that it's overwhelming to be taken in the bottom, but not painful (except a little bit initially).

I have also been asked if I will let Evan spank me for the camera. The answer to this question is definitely not. As I mentioned in our early bio, I let Evan spank me a few times in the early part of our relationship, and I hated it. The spanking hurt a lot (even though Evan used only his hand), and I didn't like the loss of control at all. Consequently, you won't ever see me getting spanked. I am much happier giving than receiving.

Finally, I have been asked if I might pose nude for you all. Unfortunately, no. Although I am proud of my body, posing naked for you feels too submissive to me, in this forum. I like to be the one in control, so I will only show you some limited views of my body. However, I will provide you with a view of my rear end. Evan adores my bottom, and he would like to have been able to keep spanking me. Now he worships my bottom, but never does it any harm.

Until later,

Deirdre.

more on female superiority / supremacy

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to comment on my remarks regarding female superiority / supremacy. Thanks to ajr, Brett, George, Carl, hot_bottom, subguyinAtl, Recidavist and Bob for their general support of my positions. Thanks to ajr for the links to the blog 'femdom 101, mommydom 201 or a kool aid drinker', which includes some facetious Elise Sutton sightings, such as http://femdomnonsense.blogspot.com/2010/02/elise-sutton-saturdays.html .
Although I understand the humor underlying the femdom-101 posts, such posts are likely to be reflecting the truth, which is a bit depressing.

One comment, by an anonymous commenter, seemed to disagree substantially with my equality hypothesis. This commenter argues that women are superior to men because "women need more from their men sexually". In particular, it is claimed that women are superior to men (a) because women's orgasms are not necessarily linked with procreation; (b) because women's orgasms can be experienced from a greater variety of sources (clitoral, vaginal, g-spot, in the mind); and (c) because women's orgasms can be multiple.

The link between women's orgasms and superiority baffles me, however. I like my orgasms a lot, and perhaps they are better than a typical man's (or maybe not). But I don't see how such a possibility would make women superior to men, except that perhaps women have better and more diverse orgasms than men. The typical discussion of female vs. male superiority centers around strengths in leadership and intelligence, which were the dimensions of comparison that I was discussing. It's unclear how sexual interests or needs relate to such strengths, if at all. The typical argument for female superiority is that women are better group leaders, they are calmer, etc. Enjoying sex more seems orthogonal to being smarter and/or a better leader, unless a causal relationship can be established.

Another commenter, mysster, defines supremacy / superiority in a different way than I do: "as tags in the awakening in males of their desire to submit, to feel submissive, to let a Female take the lead"

mysster goes on as follows: "if 'supremacy' serves as an aphrodisiac phrase to lead us where we want to be in a relationship with a Woman who wishes to dominate, why not?"

These are not the typical definitions of the words "supremacy" and "superiority". Re-defining these words to mean something else makes communication about these notions difficult. To take an extreme example, if I start using the word "not" to mean "likely", it will be confusing for people that I am trying to communicate with. (Compare "I will not / likely do what you are asking".) A less extreme example of communication failure will occur when you utter the phrase "female supremacy" to mean your desire to submit to some woman or women. You will confuse people like me, who understand the meaning of the word "supremacy" very differently than you do, and in some circumstances, if you get involved with women who are true female supremacists (if such women actually exist), then it could have unwanted consequences.

Finally, jm makes some interesting hypotheses about F/M relationships, including the following conclusion "it is equality of need and mutual respect that lie at the heart of an F/M relationship." I think a more general statement can be made "it is equality of need and mutual respect that lie at the heart of any good relationship." That is, all good relationships - F/M, M/F, M/M and F/F - need equality and mutual respect for happy, healthy people. (Recidavist makes some related remarks in his comment.) I just happen to like to spank my Evan in our relationship, and he likes this too.

To conclude, here are some photos for you all. These pictures are from a recent otk for Evan. As you can see, he starts squirming when I spank. He managed to stay over my lap for 3 one-minute sets of spanks, using my paddle. The first minute appears to have been the worst. He managed to calm down for the latter two one-minute sets.

Keep the comments coming!

A case study on the effect of a spanking on an erection

Hi all:

Thank you for the comments on my last post, regarding my lack of belief in any general female superiority / supremacy. I will respond to these comments soon.

Today I am posting a few more pictures from the spanking that figured prominently in my February posts. In the current pictures, I focus on the effect that my spanking has on Evan's penis. Because Evan squirms so much, the camera films his penis when he turns sideways on my lap, and the viewer can see the state of his arousal. In this first picture, I have just started his spanking, and he is fairly erect. (Click on the picture to get a better view.)

Only a couple of minutes later, Evan's penis has shrunken dramatically:

And then a little while later, it has made close to a full retreat:

Putting these three side by side, we can better see the effects of spanking on Evan's erection (click to get a better view):

Many other similar spanking events over the years lead me to conclude that when Evan has an erection at the outset of a spanking, the spanking diminishes his erection.

Here are before and after photos, with Evan standing beside me (again, click for a better view):

You can see a slightly erect penis on the left picture, pre-spanking. Evan's penis has shrunken a lot in the right picture, post-spanking (note the red color of his behind).

If there is interest, I may present a similar case study of an effect on Evan's penis when receiving a spanking on our spanking bench. Sometimes before I start to spank Evan on the bench, I will first massage his penis to make it erect. Then as spank him, the erection disappears. It's quite remarkable how long the erection stays: he is usually quite erect even after the first continuous minute of spanking, in spite of the fact that he is clearly in a lot of pain throughout this minute. Thus, it seems to take quite some time for the blood to flow away from his penis, perhaps a couple of minutes at the least.

When I spank Evan over my knee, it seems like the erection goes away faster, but I think that this is only because I can't spank him continuously over my knee for a minute or two initially: he squirms away from me because of the pain. The time for the erection to disappear would probably be the same as on the bench: on the order of a couple of minutes. When he is over my knee, he hasn't got much of a spanking after only a couple of minutes, because of all his squirming.

I hope you all enjoyed my analysis. Talk to you all later,

D.